


The Newlywed Game

by Sundaethroughfriday



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Badass Rey, Buckle up, Dark Side Kylo, F/M, Hate to Love, I'm talking snail slow here guys, Jedi Rey, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Rey Kenobi, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Supreme Leader Snoke and the Terrible Horrible No good Very Bad Day, They Really Hate eachother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2018-10-04 12:14:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 49,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10277708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sundaethroughfriday/pseuds/Sundaethroughfriday
Summary: Rey is a bartering chip for the resistance. She is the last hope for the galaxy in the last way she had been expecting. And though, General Leia and Master Luke promise not to leave her in the hands of the dark side too long- She might just kill Kylo Ren before they have the chance to rescue her.





	1. The Deal

**Author's Note:**

> I should be finishing up other stories but since December the Reylo bug has bitten me. This is one of the four new Reylo works I'm currently writing- Let me know what you think! Comments, Kudos, everything really is greatly appreciated. I LIVE for your feedback and love! It shouldn't be long till the next chapter as I'm already mostly done with it, but like I said tell me what you think in the comments! And thank you all so, so much for actually giving this a read!

Rey shakes lightly as she makes her way past ceiling high doors. She tries to concentrate on the graying braids in front of her. Ever since coming back from Ach-to Leia has been more of a mother to her than any one, and even now, the light pressure of the General’s hand squeezing her own is the only thing keeping the young Jedi from bolting off-planet.   
Honestly, if it was up to Rey, She would be living somewhere off in unknown space, maybe back on Ach-to with Master Luke, meditating on the mountains, or in an abandoned Jedi temple discovering the secrets of her ancestors, but unfortunately, the world had to go and get itself in trouble. So not only has she been living in the cramped base on D’qar, but now that Luke has ran off again, unfortunately its her job to save the galaxy. Not to mention, Rey is the one The First Order asked for by name. She closes her eyes for a beat, taking a deep breath in to try and calm herself. 

The Rebellion needs this. 

Rey repeats the sentence over and over in her mind as Leia continues to tug her along. She tries to block out the imperial troopers on either side of them, tries to forget where they are, but it is no real use. In one last attempt to bring herself to peace she calls onto the force, letting the energy flow through her, connecting herself to the planet.  
Darkness follows and Rey can’t help but hiss. When she opens her eyes again they have all halted at a large steel door. And she can feel him on the other side, radiating hate. The force pulls tight on her ribcage, suffocating and squeezing and tugging her towards the door. Open it, She can almost hear his voice, meet your destiny now. Rey doesn’t even have to reach out, one of the troopers swipes an I.D. card through the command panel and the metal slides away.  
There is a long meeting table, meant for at least twenty, with two resistance officials already sitting down closest to them. At center of the table are four negotiators, and the far end is where the First Order has perched. Of course, Rey doesn’t really notice any of this. Her eyes are deadlocked with the cold glass panel of a black mask.  
General Hux stands slightly behind the knight of Ren, who has already made himself as comfortable as he could be in this situation. The red-head wears a drastic sneer with his nose upturned to them. He turns to face them slightly more and nods his head to Leia. The Knight, however, does not budge an inch. Rey can feel the knots in his stomach as if they were his own, and shes not quite sure if they are hers or not. She hasn’t quite got a handle on the force yet, but even so, this strikes her as odd, with the other force-sensitives she doesn’t feel so-  
“Close.” Hux commands with a wave of the hand, and the soldiers behind them swipe a card again and seal them all into the room like sardines.   
Something is hanging in the air that is dense and angry, but no one has a name for it. Really, There is not a single person in the room, including the several mediators, who thinks what is about to happen is a good idea.   
Leia’s hand moves from Rey’s onto the newly trained Jedi’s shoulder. Rey meets the grip with her own. It must be hard, she tries to sympathize, to see her son like this. Leia carried that monster in her womb and in her arms. She cared for him when he had fevers and tucked him in at night.  
Then again, so did Han- And Rey can’t look past the monster anymore.  
“Please, sit.” Hux offers too quickly. One of his gloved hands gesture to the table but he does not move a muscle otherwise. Leia and Rey slowly make their way to the table, and lower themselves into chairs. This has all been set up carefully, and each person knows one wrong move is all it takes for chaos to break. On each side of the almost empty building both parties have forces carefully posted in anticipation of a trap. Even despite all the careful strategizing and planning, Rey cannot free her hand from her light saber at her hip.  
“Then we should begin on why you’re here.”  
“It’s a trade right?” Rey speaks up.  
\---  
“Rey, calm down. It’s not ideal, yes, but-“ For once, Rey wouldn’t let Luke finish his thought.  
“Not ideal? Not ideal! I’m not going anywhere near them, master.” She shakes her head violently, taking shelter near his sister. “Am I just supposed to let that maniac corrupt me?” Leia gives a minuscule flinch with speak of her son and guilt comes over Rey for bringing him up.  
“They have a good chunk of our forces, Rey.” Leia speaks up. “ They could destroy us in one move right now. Hell-“ She gives a small laugh. “This whole thing is probably a trap, but it’s the only thing we’ve got.”  
Rey wants to scream. There is nothing about this situation that is at all appealing. Part of her wishes she had never left Jakku, Unkar Plutt was no where as bad as Kylo Ren will be.  
“It’ll be a lot easier to liberate you than all those men. “ Luke leans against his sister’s desk. “Besides, You are strong enough in the light to resist his… teachings.”  
For a moment she is dumbfounded.  
“So that’s your plan? Trade me and then rescue me?” Luke smiles like he’s proud of himself.  
“Yes.”  
\---  
“The first order thinks it is in our best interest- “one of the mediators in all black starts “-to keep the only two force users of this generation together.” Rey’s jaw tightened. She just wants this to all go away but the man continues on anyway. “And as we understand it is a large thing to trade we are prepared to release into your hands the Resistance prisoners caught in the last two years as well as a small cluster of planets that will be a peace zone for your people to inhabit.”  
“In exchange for Rey only?” Leia crosses her arms, an eyebrow raising in suspicion. 

“There is a stipulation. “ The man answers. “Supreme Leader requires more strong darksiders.”

“And you think you can turn me over?” Rey purses her lips into a straight line. Despite being warned again and again to say nothing she cannot hold her tongue.

“I will do my best.” Kylo deadpans through his voice synthesizer. Rey can’t help but shrink back, she had forgotten the way the mask sounded, when she thought of him she only thought of the soft voice she had heard in the interrogation chamber- the one she heard involuntarily in her thoughts. 

“once again- not exactly-“ The man in black is doing his best to tiptoe around the subject. His voice is delicate and he mumbles his way through.

“It is a marriage.” The other First Order Negotiator becomes impatient and squawks.

“A marriage resulting in offspring. They will be, for appearance purposes only, the Rulers of the galaxy.” Rey laughs out of nerves. The blood in her veins quickens. “ Supreme Leader believes having the Jedi will make some planets more… inviting… to him.”

“Are you daft?” The words leave her mouth before she makes the conscious effort to form them. She shoots out of her seat, palms slamming down onto the metal surface. “You want me to- to-“ She looks to her newly found mother figure for reassurance that there is no way this is happening. The elder woman, however, just shakes her head slightly.

“Remember what we spoke about, Rey.”The general urges, even though the young Jedi’s face is drenched red with anger.

“You can’t be serious, General Organa.” Rey tries her best to speak to her with respect. She attempts to calm herself, but her blood will not cease boiling. “You’re not really going to make me marry him?” Leia takes a moment to look into Rey’s eyes, she silently pleads with her. 

“It’s for the Resistance.” Is all the elder woman says.

It’s not like they won’t come for her, Rey tries to comfort herself, Luke promised they would. It’s just like being their prisoner, no different-She is chanting in her head again but Rey doesn’t quite believe any of the words.  
They will come for her.  
“If I agree to this “ She cannot stress this part enough “then I will have my own rules. “ The mediators mumble among themselves for a moment.

“And what are your stipulations, miss Rey?” She’s still thinking when they ask. She only knew this was the only time to make conditions and spoke without having any.

“The mask-“ She holds out her hand. At first the mask tilts, and he looks slightly taken aback, but Kylo shakes his head.

“When were alone.” Rey frowns, but shakes her head. She looks to the closest negotiator. The idea of being alone with him sets her nerves on fire. She wants nothing more than to throw up.

“While I’m your prisoner no harm will come to the resistance. “ Rey throws an arm around Leia’s shoulders. She will protect The general and the Resistance no matter what. One of the mediators in black crosses his arms.

“We have a very extensive treaty drawn out for General Organa.” He says, sliding documents to the mediators in white.

“Anything else, Jedi?” Kylo bites at her. “Don’t expect us to be too generous.”

Stupid, selfish Kylo Ren. Rey knows its childish but she can’t help but curse him. She hates him, more than anything, and he just expects her to-

‘I don’t want this either foolish girl.’ She thinks he spoke, but no one else in the room reacted to him. ‘Just keep your head low and play along.’ It is that quiet firm voice she had heard before, his real voice. That’s when she realizes it’s not him, or well- he’s not speaking out loud. Her mind is trying to trick her, make her thing he doesn’t want this as much as she doesn’t. But like every other time her mind has fabricated his voice she shuts it all right out. She can’t afford to start feeling bad for him.

“Whatever you want will be at your fingertips, Miss Rey.” The squeaky one starts talking again. “You will be treated as Royalty.”

“Fine.” She nods her consent. 

The resistance will come for her. 

The two storm troopers that had escorted her in are suddenly helping her up. One takes the light saber from her hip and brings it across the room to Kylo. The other grabs her by the bicep and leads her out the room. She tears her arm out of his grip and throws her arms around Leia.  
“Don’t forget about me.” Her throat is tight as she whispers. Leia returns her embrace tightly. 

“We won’t, Rey. Your sacrifice will be remembered.” The General pulls away from their hug and looks into her eyes. She seems like she has more to say- but the Trooper takes Reys arm in his fist again and pulls them apart.

“General Organa we have a few papers for you to sign.” She catches the worried look from her mother figure before the door shuts completely behind her. 

Leia will come for her. She has too. She promised. 

Master Luke will travel the galaxy to save her as soon as they get the news to him- as soon as they find him.

She is escorted directly to a shuttle, where she is handcuffed and placed in a cell.

Rey has a bad feeling about this.


	2. The Finalizer

“Do I have to be handcuffed?” Rey scoffs, trying to itch the center of her back. The Solider she has identified as the leader looks back at her and shakes his head.  
“We have been advised to take a few precautions.” His mask makes the words sound emotionless, and at once he swivels his chair back to the view port of the ship.   
It has been three days of star travel before the shuttle finally lands.   
Three days with three storm troopers and no conversation. Her stomach gives a long growl. Three days with no food. Rey lets out a pitiful sigh. Her hand tangles up in her hair, and as a large star destroyer comes into view she decides to take the time to fix her buns. It is less to impress any one and more to make her feel less disgusting. After all, its been three days without a shower. She had gotten used to that kind of behavior on Jakku but the Resistance had spoiled her. The resistance had given her a warm bed, and hot showers, and its best attempts at three meals day. Rey can loop the first bun no problem but the second is much harder to fix with her hands bound than she would have thought. She gives up after one attempt and lets the rest of her hair fall down. Rey settles on meditating instead, trying to build up her strength.  
Three days without Finn or Leia or Master Luke. 

Three days without hope.

From the small window on her side of the ship she can see that they’ve docked. Rey watches as the ship eases into a landing. Outside the window are First Order employees bustling around. Mechanics working on tie fighters, troopers bustling around like schools of fish. The sound of metal scraping metal hits her ears and when she turn to the noise she sees the commander opens her cell and the other two barge in and flank her. They grab her under the arms and pick her up from the ground.  
“Excuse us, Lady Rey.” The one in charge speaks. “We’ve been instructed to escort you to Captain Phasma.” The trooper opens the shuttle and leads them out. Rey struggles with her footing down the ramp, both the soldiers are a little taller than her and her feet barley scrap the metal, but it does not keep her from trying to retain her dignity and waking on her own.  
“This isn’t necessary.” She barks. “I’ve agreed to hand myself over.”  
The Stormtroopers nod.  
“General Hux has asked us to keep you restrained.”They drag her through the hangar. Rey is all but tempted to Jedi mind trick the men away. She wants nothing more than to walk up to a tie fighter and pilot the hell out of here. For a moment, she considers it, but her thoughts fall on the prisoners the First Order has taken. If there was some way for Rey to make sure they were already safe- then she would have no problem sprinting away. But she doesn’t know, so she continues to allow herself to be humiliated like this.  
They pull her into an elevator, and with the swipe of a card it launches upward. The movement is so unlike anything Rey’s ever experienced it almost brings her to her knees. Her stomach lurches and somersaults around. When the elevator comes to a sharp halt she feels herself leave the trooper’s grip for half a second, still heading upwards as everything else has stopped.   
The door slides open and Rey’s eyes almost go wide. Everything is cold and grey. The entire corridor is metal and the chill is already seeping into her bones. There are so many soldiers she has to do a double take. None of them bat an eye as she is lead down the hallway, as though this sort of thing happens frequently. Rey shudders at the thought of the First order constantly dragging young handcuffed women through their hallways.  
The thing that infuriates her the most, however, is that she gave herself to this. It would be different if they captured her, or if Kylo Ren bested her in a fight (as if), but she bowed to them and said ‘take me’. She has to remind herself it is for the good of the galaxy. She has to repeat over and over in her head that this is all to liberate the universe. Rey can feel anger in her bones that is not normally there. She can almost understand how someone would give into the dark side if they had to stay here where there is no warmth or love- Here, where she is almost positive, there will be plenty of torture. Finally they arrive at another metal sliding door, and once again the lead trooper takes out an I.D. card and swipes it.  
Rey’s blood runs cold.  
A silver plated trooper stands on the other side, arms crossed, side by side to a hunched over Armeitage Hux. Rey wants to examine the room they have brought her to, and though her eyes flicker around enough to gather it is quarters, they can barley leave the pair.  
“Welcome.” The redhead bites. He straightens himself and cracks his knuckles. He nods his head to the silver trooper, who walks forward and releases her guards from duty. The soldiers on each side slowly set her to the ground. Phasma, Rey assumes this is who they spoke of, removes the cuffs from her wrists. Rey rubs underneath her armpits where the gaurds tight grip had left red marks.

“Quite a welcome.” Rey sneers. “Where am I?”

“This is the Finalizer.” Rey feels like rolling her eyes as the General speaks again. Of course this god forsaken ship has a stupid name like that.  
“Is this where I’m to live?” Hux shakes his head.  
“These will be your quarters for the next two weeks.” He says. “You are to stay here at all times, unless Captain Phasma, here, fetches you. Meals will be delivered in the morning and evening. You will find everything else you need within this room.”  
“And where do I go in two weeks?”  
“We are traveling to Chandrilla. You and Ren will be married there.” Hux spits out ‘Ren’ distastefully and Rey can already feel the jealousy coming off him. He is an puny, easy man to read. Even though Rey is not at all scared of the General fear still boils up in her bones. Part of her had thought, or hoped moreover, that the whole marriage thing was just a joke. It had to be a terrible joke, right? The terror is apparent in her tight fists because Hux smirks like he’s done his job. “If you require assistance you may call the captain-“ He points to a small comm. Panel near the door. “Otherwise do not disturb her.” Hux walks out, knocking into her shoulder on the way. Phasma gives her a nod before stalking off as well. The door slides shut with a slam.   
Rey walks up to the glass panel near the entrance to press the command for the door to reopen. Despite activating it several times the steel does not budge. She leans against the wall next to it, defeat wracking through her. She is locked inside- just a prisoner in a cell once again.  
Her eyes take the opportunity to take in the room. The walls are grey, big surprise, but there is a black double bed on a slightly raised platform near the back wall that looks plusher than sees ever seen. One wall of the bedroom is replaced with glass paneling that overlooks the galaxy. There is currently a few star clusters she in unfamiliar with and a blue and purple galaxy swirling about outside.   
Rey has always found comfort in the stars; back on Jakku she would count them to fall asleep. Sometimes she’d share her thoughts with the balls of gas. She is comforted to know that she can still talk to them here in the darkness. It makes her feel a little saner. There is a little table and chair up against it.  
There is a small desk pressed against the corner with writing paper and pens set atop it. Along the surface of the desk is also a small planted flower she has never seen before. It is tall and vibrant red but something about it doesn’t feel peaceful. There is an chest on the other corner, but Rey is sure it is filled with black and she doesn’t want to look in it, so instead she settles on opening the small door between them and is very pleased to find a ‘fresher.   
She bathes herself in the hottest water the system will allow, which is still quite lukewarm. It is less of a bath and more of a long, exhausted soak. She tries to keep it thoughtless, but Kylo Ren in ceremony dress keeps popping into her mind. It is enough to make her rise from the bath for a moment and physically throw up into the toilet. When she enters the water again it has gone cold.  
The cold is the straw on the Bantha’s back. Tears well up in her eyes, and though she does her best to prevent it, they fall down her cheeks in no time. Did anyone really expect her to be happy about this? It was her right to cry. They really expect her to marry him- to be his good little queen of the galaxy. They expect her to-  
She pictures his gloved hands on her skin, clawing and leaving bruises in their path. Rey finds herself wanting to vomit again, but there is nothing left in her stomach to hurl up. She curls her knees up to her bare chest and sobs. The cries pull her shoulders back and forth. They tighten up around her heart and almost squeeze it into nonexistence.   
There is a small tug on her rib cage, where her heart is breaking. It is soft and comforting, warm even, and Rey thinks it is her master telling her things will be okay because there is sadness behind it.  
You just have to get through this, Rey reminds one more time, there is nothing you can do but wait. In the back of her mind she promises herself, when this is over and the rebels are safe, that her saber will go straight through Kylo Ren’s heart. She pictures it in the same manor he had done to his father, and things start feeling a little better. Quickly, as her skin turns prune-ish, she washes her hair and face, scrubs the dirt out from under her nails and leaves the bath.  
Rey lets herself air dry and scrubs her clothing in the sink with hand soap. She hangs them all up on the towel rack. When she enters the bedroom again a steaming meal is sitting on top of the table by the window. She gives the wardrobe one glowering look and strides over to it, mentally preparing herself to open it.  
But the breath leaves her when she does, for a completely different reason. She had dreaded seeing the blacks she thought she’d be forced to wear here, but instead the furniture piece is filled with everything in the brightest white shade she’s ever seen. It almost blinds her with the light reflecting from it. A small depressed smile finds her lips. She gets what they’re playing at though. It makes sense now why Snoke thinks having her will help out his image- because he plans on advertising her as the good in the universe. And if the good of the universe could marry someone like Kylo Ren the Republic had no reason not to sign their lives away to him.

The good in the universe, the last Jedi, she wouldn’t do anything to hurt anyone- and if she trusted these monsters, then maybe they weren't monsters.

Rey’s smile turns into a frown and she slips one of the white dresses over her head. But Snoke hadn’t anticipated everything- He didn’t know Rey, not really, and he certainly didn’t know how much of a pain in the ass she would be.  
Rey sits at the table, examining her meal. It looks like some sort of thin cake, along with caff and some fresh fruit. This must be breakfast. She pokes it with one of the forks provided, and wonders if it’s poisoned. The notion does not stop her from taking a bite- At this point she would rather them poison her than anything else they’ve got planned.   
Its too sweet and makes her nose wrinkle. After a few more bites she decides she isn’t really all that hungry and just drinks her caff. It is black and bitter, but so is her soul at the moment. She looks out to the stars between sips.  
Far off in the milky darkness that is the void of space she can spot D'qar.

‘Master Luke’ She thinks, as hard as she can out to the stars. ‘Please hurry.’

‘Unfortunately, No one’s coming for you.’ It’s Kylo’s voice that responds in her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was quick! I'd love to say I was always on top of my game with updates but... That is not the case. I have two more written already but I'm going to save them for more weekly updates that way if I run out of steam I'm a little ahead and you guys won't have to wait so long!  
> So Rey just hates this so far- and I mean, who can blame her? Poor little desert rat has no idea how to actually handle this situation though, she's fought for everything so far but there is not enough people in the universe she could punch in the face to get this to stop.


	3. Hope

Its another couple days before she is called for. Five meals have come and passed, which Rey figures its midday on the third day of their journey. In the last few cycles all Rey has been catching up on much needed sleep. She has never really gotten the opportunity to be lazy. Rey doesn’t really mind the solitude, but being idle is driving her up a wall. She needs to do something, dig into wires with her hands and work.  
She has been staring, for about the last two hours, straight at the comm. Panel. There is an indentation where the main screen can be pulled up for maintenance, and Rey is more than tempted to rip it off and figure out the wiring. When she finally decides to leave her bed, as soon as her fingers make contact with the glass, the panel roars to life, and Rey has to jump back from fright.  
“Lady Rey-“ It is Phasma’s voice that hits her ears. On the display her sound waves jump around in blue patterns. “I am own my way to get you, please be ready when I arrive.”   
And then she’s all alone again.   
Her hands leave the comm., she’ll just have to pry it open another day. Instead of dressing in the whites they’ve provided she changes into her old clothing. Phasma arrives just as Rey slips on her arm wrappings.   
Phasma stops as soon as she walks into the room, first, eyeing Rey, and then the piling plates on her desk.  
“Starving yourself isn’t going to help.” Phasma notes, her voice a flat line. “you’ll just end up in a stretcher with Lord Ren shoving a tube down your throat.”  
Phasma doesn’t mean to be cruel with her words but Rey physically winces at them. Rey pictures it for a second, forced feeding, before shaking everything from her mind.  
She isn’t starving herself- her eyes swivel back to the mostly full plates, she’s been drinking her caff just fine- she wants to point out.  
“I’ll call a service droid to clean up while we’re gone. Are you ready?” Rey nods as confidently as she can. Phasma walks out, leaving the door open just long enough for Rey to slip through. She is about to ask where they are going when Phasma offers up the information. “You’re being measured- and after that the Supreme leader would like to see you.” Snoke? Already? Rey has to swallow her nerves back down. If she could get her hands on a lightsaber maybe she could end this-  
Its foolish to think, Rey decides, This is a man who keeps Kylo Ren in check, and she can barley manage him.  
“And once that’s said and done with-“ Phamsa taps a few things on her portable screen she’s been carrying. “General Hux will escort you back to your quarters.”  
Phasma’s steps are more of a march than anything. Rey finds herself taking a shorter, quicker pace to keep up with the incredibly large solider. Rey tries not to dwell on the prospect of being alone with Hux, after all, there are much worse things in the galaxy(hopefully).   
It is not a far trek to the room Phasma huddles her into.  
There is a petite, skinny figure on the farthest wall, downing a mug of caff in one sip. The woman wears a low cut black dress made out of impractically flowing material. It shows off her tanned chest a little too much for Rey too be comfortable. Her thick white hair has been pulled into the slickest bun Rey’s ever seen with an elaborately jeweled headdress atop it. Her eyes are completely white, devoid of pupil and iris.   
“My name is Aureena.” She speaks, crossing the room in one graceful swoop. Her hand lands on Rey’s shoulder. It has four thick fingers with attached claws. “Please come this way, my dear.” Aureena drags Rey into the middle of the room, and takes a few steps back. She circles Rey like a predator, Her eyes taking in every detail of her. Phasma stays planted at the door as it slides shut.   
“A dark blue would look excellent on your skin.” She notes.  
“Supreme Leader has requested white.” Phasma pipes up. Aureena frowns, exaggerating her features.  
“Than an Ivory? Or maybe a Cream?” The Arkanian crosses the room, grabbing a large metal ring with several pieces of fabric on it. She walks back to Rey and begins to hold each separate square up to Rey’s face. Rey is a little surprised there are so many different shades of white.  
“What is your name, my darling?”  
“Rey?”   
“Are you excited for your Unity Ceremony, my dear?” Rey snorts out loud.   
“Yes-“ Sarcasm isn’t something she uses often, but now seems like a good time. “-I’m counting down the days till I’m permanently bound to the Scourge of the Universe. “ Aureena raises an eyebrow.  
“Of course, what a silly question you must be. Every girl dreams of the day.” The joke goes straight over her head, and she continues smiling up at Rey.  
It takes the woman a good twenty minutes to go through them all.  
“Cream.” She settles on, and puts the swatches back where she found them. She comes back with a tape measure.  
“Please remove your top.” She instructs. Rey looks to Phasma, who just gives her a small nod. Hesitantly Rey pulls the fabric over her head. Aureena immediately holds the measure up to her shoulders. She throws the tape over her neck and writes something down before moving to her arms.  
“Rey, darling, do you have any particular styles in mind?” The young Jedi shakes her head. She has only ever worn what was cheapest and most practical. This is all surreal to her. “Do these measurements look right to you so far?”  
Aureena holds out her pad of paper and on it, in a flowery scroll she recognizes, is a hand written note.  
‘Rebels unsecure. Hold on tight.’  
It’s from Leia. Rey beams. There is a moment of silence that Rey can’t help. She has to remember that Phasma is watching them, however, and nods quickly.  
‘stay safe kid.’   
“I don’t really know anything about clothing, Aureena.” Rey says a little breathlessly. “I’ll leave it all up to your judgment.”  
Its hope- that’s all she had really wanted. Rey holds onto to it like water in the desert. She just needed to know they were trying.  
Aureena gives her a soft smile back.  
“Of course, darling, I’m the best designer in the galaxy for a reason.” Her tape measure goes around Rey’s waist. “I’m thinking pre-Empire. Something grand and exquisite, meant for a queen.” Rey shrugs her shoulders. She’d rather dress simply, but something tells her it is not an option.   
Actually , it is more the excited look on the designer’s face that tells her it is not an option.  
There is an hour and a half before Aureena is fully finished with her measurement.   
“I’ll need to see you for a fitting.” She says as she packs her things up. “Keep your schedule free when you land on Chandrilla.” Rey inclines her head, telling the older woman it won’t be a problem. The designer lets her arms slip around Rey’s shoulders on her way out.  
“Do your best to be happy, Rey.” Aureena speaks earnestly into her ear. “Marriages are a lot of work, but if you try it will be worth it.”  
Aureena is escorted out by a pair of soldiers, causing Rey to wonder if she too was here as a prisoner.   
Phasma turns to her, clicking her heels together.  
“We’re running late.” It’s almost as though she’s scolding her. “Supreme Leader won’t wait too long, follow me.”  
Once again, she’s following the silver trooper throughout corridors. Rey wonders what would happen if she just didn’t show, or if she drug her feet long enough for him to get impatient. Would he leave and postpone their meeting for another day or would he- She pictures herself on the receiving end of force lightening and shudders.

“Do you believe in the First Order?” Rey asks quietly as they walk. Phasma does not lose her pace.

“I’m here aren’t I?” The silver trooper responds, not even bothering to look back at her. 

“Why?” There are a few quiet moments where the only thing to be heard is footsteps. Rey looks out the glass to the stars, watching D’qar intently. For a moment she figures the woman will not respond and starts to give up hope.  
“I wasn’t always a captain.” Phasma speaks, still looking ahead. “ There was a time when I was just a regular solider, and I remember going to planet after planet and bringing food and clean water. We helped colonize a lot of the unknown region- there were people living there in squalor- as slaves- anything you can imagine, and we brought supplies and law. We liberated a lot of them.” She throws a look back at Rey. “I know everything we’ve done isn’t the best, but sometimes we help, and that’s why I’m here.” Rey quirks up an eyebrow. It was a much more sympathetic answer than she had really been expecting.   
Phasma stops short in front of a door- it slides open on its own for Rey.  
“Good luck.” On shaky legs Rey walks in, she is very disappointed that Phasma does not follow. It is a large grey room that she is now trapped in. There is a small table by the door she has entered through with Kylo Ren’s mask sitting atop it.   
The next door slides open as she approaches it.  
“But Master- Just a little more time and-“ Kylo turns on his heel, eyeing her distastefully. She hasn’t seen his face in some time, and a bit of pride fills her as she takes in the scar that crosses from under his eye across his nose. His full lips drop and a unhappy exhale leaves him. He turns back to-  
Snoke is huge. It takes Rey a moment to realize he’s just a holo. He towers above them- his finger alone larger than her. His skin is sickly; parts of it stretch together and break in his cheeks- like he went under the knife unsuccessfully. His lips twist outwardly in a grin when she steps inside. His teeth are few and far between, but the ones she can see are poisonous yellow and sharp.  
“Come here, young one.” He motions her forward.  
Rey takes small calculated steps toward him. He takes her a while to get all the way down the catwalk. She stops side by side to Kylo Ren.  
As much as she wants to direct her hatred toward the Knight she cannot move to look at him. She is frozen in her boots as Snoke locks eyes with her.  
“You have such potential.” His voice seeps into her bones and cracks there. All Rey can do is look into the eyes of the hologram. They are ancient, withered even. Its like she’s looking at a ghost or the hollow shell of a human. His fingers are like boney spindles. They reach out to caress her, but the holo passes right through. She feels like he’s gone through her soul, through her force. But she won’t look away. Rey refuses to show her weakness and flinch from this man. He’s just a sack of skin, she tells herself; he’s not even really here. “Why do you waste it on people like Skywalker?”  
“I waste nothing.” Rey straightens her back, bristling to him. Out of the corner of her eye she can see Kylo turn his head to her. He almost looks taken aback. “Wasting potential would be working for you.”  
Blinding pain finds its way into her brain. Her hands fly to her scalp and almost rip out hair. White hot spots appear within Rey’s vision. Snoke laughs quietly as she falls down onto her knees.  
“You could be powerful, like my Knights of Ren. All you have to do is give me your word…?” He speaks, but she can barely hear his wispy voice over the intensity in her mind. “Surely there is something you desire?” Snoke invades her mind, searching through her memories. He lingers on her as a child screaming after a long gone shuttle. He fingers through her conscious like a coffee table book- landing on what he wants to see. Distaste comes on his face with her memories of the interrogation chamber on Starkiller. His frown becomes more pronounced as he watched them fight in the snow.

“Kylo Ren…” The Supreme leader lets the name drop out of his lips in what sounds like disappointment. “You will break her.”

“Yes, Master.” Kylo gives a curt nod.  
“Leave.” Snoke dismisses them with a wave of the hand. His hologram fades into obscurity.  
Kylo Ren looks down at her. Rey is still crumbled on the ground holding her skull in obvious pain. He leans down and settles his gloved fingers too hard underneath her bicep, pulling her up.   
Rey doesn’t even notice they’ve left the chamber until Kylo’s grip begins to hurt.  
“What goes through your head, scavenger?” His voice is harsh as he tugs her along. He walks so fast   
Rey can hardly keep up. He stops for a moment at the corridor entrance, fixing his helm back over his face.   
She opens her mouth to fight back with him but Rey catches his eyes just before they disappear and her mouth shuts itself. They look wild, scrutinizing, in their swirling browns. They almost look worried. Ren presses the switch and the contraption lowers back into place. The door slides open.

Hux waits, arms crossed on the other side. Without a word Kylo throws her into him and stalks off. Rey’s face collides with the sharp bones of the general’s sternum. She quickly backs away from him.

As Kylo turns the corner Rey can hear his light saber activate.  
“Always so dramatic.” Hux shakes his head. He looks down to her. Rey would take Kylo’s livid gaze over Hux’s any day- she decides this on the spot. He looks at her like he’s about to lick his lips- like she’s a prize chip in a poker game. He waves his arm in front of him, inviting her to begin walking.“Would you like to get back, Lady Rey? I’ve got them bringing you a lovely diner this evening. Phasma has informed me you haven’t been finding your meals up to par.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise they're going to start having actually interactions soon! But yay for Rey She's got a message! 
> 
> Also, I know I'm updating too eagerly I'm just way to excited about this one. Like always tell me what you think, I've been absolutely loving you're comments you guys are so quick witted and funny! Also, you're all figuring me out so I guess i'm going to have to be more kryptic! Thanks so much for the read and all the love- I don't think I've ever gotten so many kudos I'm legit so grateful!
> 
> Also If you want my Tumblr is Sundaethroughfriday! Its mostly shitposting but sometimes I'll let you now about new fics or updates! Thanks so much guys!


	4. The Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the whole Hux commenting on dinner thing was in my mind just him being shitty about her not eating, but you guys made it sounds so much better i had to go back a rewrite this. This is why I love feedback because it really improves my stories 100x to have people giving me their opinions.  
> This chapter contains torture, so if that is going to bother you look away now! Its not terrible, I went in a rewrote it several times to make it less gruesome- that first draft though- yikes.  
> Please Enjoy!

“Lady Rey, How are you enjoying your stay?” Hux leads her over to the table at her window- there is an extra chair set out. On the table are two black trays with three plates each. Rey waits for him to get comfortable before she takes her usual seat by the stars. She wants to say how bored she’s been, but there is a part of her that is still shaken from the encounter with Snoke. Her mind keeps wandering to Kylo Ren’s expression just before it disappeared into his mask.  
The red head’s eyes do not leave her, waiting perilously for her answer.

“So far-“ She thinks over her words carefully, knowing fine would not be a true answer. “-So far there has been a lot less torture than I thought.”

Hux frowns at her answer.

“You’re our guest.” He answers back, picking up a fork from the table. Rey gives herself a moment to take in the food. There is a charred brown meat taking up the largest plate. The medium plate holds something green and slimy and the smallest has an assortment of chocolates on it. Rey picks up the fork and knife, like Hux had, and begins following his initiative, cutting the steak in small pieces. She felt more uneasy in his presence than by herself. She brings the fork to her lips. Therefore, even less hungry, but with the thought the mental image of Kylo Ren force feeding her Phasma had provided enters her head again. With a lump in her throat she forces herself to swallow the meat. It is not even that it isn’t good- Really it is one of the more palatable things she’s ever had- but it’s just that her stomach at once tries to reject it. “We wouldn’t want to hurt you. The Supreme Leader has taken a fondness to you.”  
Rey thinks back to the pain in her thoughts. If Snoke really enjoys her he has an odd way of showing it. She chooses not to respond to him. Her stomach churns with each bite she takes, but it is the only excuse to really keep her mouth shut.  
Hux looks up at her after a few moments. His green eyes chill as they scrutinize her frame. 

“If Ren is not to you’re liking, perhaps you could speak to the Supreme Leader about a more eligible candidate for Emperor?” Oh, Kriff. Things suddenly make sense. Rey sighs hard and resist the urge to plant her face into her palms. She sets her fork down, meeting the man eye to eye.

“You think you’d be more suitable?” She asks, mostly just trying to understand where he is going. The tips of his lips curl up.

“Well, I hadn’t mentioned myself Lady Rey, but I’m very flattered you think so.” Rey, in all earnest, is more than tired of power hungry Nerf-herders. Hux leans back into his chair, taking his hat from his fiery hair and setting it into his lap. He runs a hand through his locks. “I’m much less of a brute than he is, after all.” Somehow, he doesn’t convince Rey. He may be more human than Ren, but he is defiantly not kinder. She can feel it in the force the hatred that lurks deep within him.  
“I don’t think Sno-“ She stops herself as Hux eyes her. Rey has to think about her words before she says them. “I don’t think the Supreme Leader is going to get out of bed for anything less than a Dark Sider.” If Hux’s face had anything polite in it before, it all disappears. He sneers down at her now.  
“You think he is stronger.” It is not really a question as much as it is an accusation. For a moment Rey thinks about how ridiculous this whole thing is. She should not have to explain herself to anyone. She also does not want to have to defend Kylo Ren. In fact, that is the last thing on her agenda, but her mouth opens on its own accord.

“I think there is a reason the Supreme Leader has chosen him to be his figurehead.” Hux gives her an incredulous glare. Rey directs her eyes out to space. She wonders if she has the power to order him out of her quarters.  
“You want to marry the man who caused the fall of your order?” There is a pang in her heart for Master Luke. Of course she knows Kylo Ren killed the Jedi’s he had worked so hard to train, but it was something she liked to tuck away in her mind and think about as little as possible.  
“I did not say that.” Rey snaps.  
“But I would be more intolerable than him?” Hux rises from his seat, throwing his cap back over his head. He crosses his arms as he looks down on her, scorned.  
“I didn’t say that either, General. I just think that Snoke-“ Before she can finish her sentence his palm stings her cheek. Rey is stunned into silence.  
“We show respect when we speak about the Supreme Leader.” He corrects her. His other hand throws his napkin down on his plate. 

Of all people to reject him the desert girl had no right.

“You have made an enemy.” He states, trying to maintain his calm. “One you will not forget.”  
He’s gone as quickly as his rampage had started, leaving Rey with a stinging face.

A service droid enters moments later. The small bot scoops everything on the table in his bin and whirls out. Rey watches him from her bed. Even the droids here seem cruel, she thinks as she sinks into sleep.

Slowly gas seeps in through her oxygen vent.

\--  
Rey wakes up in frenzy. She can tell, as soon as consciousness begins to come back, that something is not right. She is no longer in her black sheets, but instead cold metal is pressed against her skin. She tries to push herself up on her hands, only to realize she is bound and standing. Her eyes open to the sight of General Hux looming over her, with a syringe in one hand and a tall droid at his side. His other arms rests on a small surgical table, with clean silver medical tools neatly set into lines.  
“Good Morning.” Hux’s predatory smile makes another appearance. He takes a step closer to her. The back of his hand trails up her arm. His skin is colder than the metal. Rey grits her teeth together.  
“What is this?” She has to ask. Surely he hasn’t been given permission to hurt her, like he had said, Snoke enjoyed her.  
‘Break her’ She had almost forgotten about the command in the chamber that had sent Kylo Ren into a frenzy. She wondered if this was her punishment. Hux flips his hand over, settling the syringe in the crook of her elbow, being careful to find the right vein.  
“You’re only complaint about your stay was the lack of torture.” He states, letting the needle sit against her skin. “I figured it was time to satisfy you.”  
“What is that?” Rey can’t see much of the syringe except for the awful rancid brown color inside of it. Panic starts coursing into her and she tries to struggle away from him, but Hux grabs her jaw in his free hand, forcing her to look into his face.  
“Its just something to help with the pain.” And he presses the needle into her vein. It is all at once like there is fire inside her. It travels up her vein, into her shoulders, through her collar bone. It boils her from the inside. Her arm spasms and seizes but it has got nowhere to go but shake around in its confines. She can’t control how tightly her fist clenches. The only thing keeping Rey from shouting is her physically biting down on her tongue, but it does not stop the groans that leave her.  
“Are you willing to work for the first order?” Hux asks, he sets the empty neede on the steel table and begins preparing another one. “Must I remind you, you’ve already given you’re word, and if you break the deal, you’re friends will die.”  
Rey can’t even sneer at him. The concept of words is far from her mind. She writhes around, shaking against her bindings. When she doesn’t answer Hux gives the droid a nod. The machine reaches out its long arm, and between the two long prongs at the end of it, electricity starts to spur.  
Achingly slow, the droid’s arm gets closer, until it makes contact with the center of her abdomen.  
“Yes!”Rey can’t help but shout as the shock goes through her. “I will. I do.” The droid pulls back its arm as soon as she answers accordingly. Blood starts to pool up in her mouth and she is certain she’s severed off a small piece of her tongue.  
“Are you willing to obey the orders of Supreme Leader Snoke?”  
“Go to hell.” She spits. The droid shocks her once more, longer this time. Rey digs her nails into her palms instead of giving him an answer. Sweat covers her face now. Her hair is soaked.  
She’d rather die than answer.  
Hux purses his lips. He holds a hand up and the droid backs off. He stations the other syringe at her other elbow.  
“Are you going to obey the Supreme Leader?” He bites again, hovering above her. Her eyes travel up, looking at him with hate from under her furrowed brows. She keeps her mouth as tightly locked as she can. The urge to hurt somebody has never been so apparent. She wants to make this man feel the pain he’s causing her. Rey shakes her head. Hux plunges the needle into her and the same effect takes hold.  
It is so much worse the second time, now that she is anticipating it. The pain creeps up slowly this time, instead of all at once. It pops the veins out of her arm, but it doesn’t stop at her collarbone this time. It like it mingles with the other poison; they meet in the middle and travel up her head, settling in her skull.  
As soon as he hurts her again she slams her head into his. She uses all the force in her body to make it count. Hux stumbles back. For a moment he stares at her, mouth open, and then blood trickles down from under his cap.  
“You little bitch.” He bites and raises his hand. Rey braces herself for the impact.  
“Hux.” It is a warning. The hit never comes.  
The redhead turns to glare behind him.  
“Leave her to me now.” Hux sneers but backs away from her anyway. Looming on the edge of her vision is a tall black figure she cannot really make out. The voice, however, is an immediate identifier. Rey isn’t sure whether to be grateful or even more terrified.  
Kylo Ren stands in front of her, clad in his entire blacks, cloak and all. He touches her cheek with his glove and then he releases the restraints from her hands and wrist. All Rey can do to crumble onto the floor. She does not have strength left in her. The poison clatters in her body still, as well as the new pain from whatever wound is causing blood to drip into her vision.  
“Have you had enough?” Each of his words are measured, paced out and calm. The synthesizer on his mask only amplifies this effect. He stands above her, looking like a skyscraper at his full height. Rey turns her head up, examining the situation. She supposed Kylo Ren wasn’t here to rescue her after all, big surprise.  
“You know I won’t give up that easily.” Rey struggles to get the words out. She sets a shaky hand on her knee and pulls herself up. It takes so much of her power to even get standing she knows if he presses her she won’t stand a chance- but it doesn’t stop her from pretending.  
“We don’t want to hurt you.” He sighs.  
“That’s Bantha shit.” She hocks up the blood in her throat, spitting it at Hux’s fine leather shoes. The general growls deep down in his throat.  
Kylo Ren holds out a hand, outstretching each finger on his hand. Rey quirks an eyebrow, unsure of what he is doing.  
“So rebellious-” He observes, taking a few steps closer to her. “Such a strong will-”  
But then she feels it, hands forming around her esophagus.  
“You’re content to be this for the rest of your existence?” He says effortlessly as the breath leaves her. As he takes her breath away he circles her. Each step is meaningful, a gloat over her. “Just a slave to the Jedi agenda? You never want to reach your destiny?”  
Rey’s hand flies up to her neck, she tries to pry the invisible hands off her, but she is grabbing at nothing. Her nails claw against her own skin. She wants to tell him being a Jedi is her destiny but she can’t get air out let alone words. She tries to focus on the force but between the fire in her head and her lungs begging for air she can’t concentrate even the slightest.  
Is she going to die here? It is not really a question she’s asked before. Rey has always survived. She has always done what it takes to survive, but this seems more than hopeless. 

“Fight back.” Kylo commands. She shakes her head to the best of her ability. It more just slides from side to side. Her breathes become gargled sort of cries. Rey knows he’s trying to provoke her- he wants her to open to the darkness in her heart. He pushes harder, the hands tighten. Or maybe, the entire situation would be easier for Kyo Ren if he just killed her now? Maybe he’s not keen on this marriage either and he’s really going to end her life right here to save him the trouble.  
“You will never leave that desert rat behind if you stay on your path.” He reaches into her mind, clawing for anything he can get, and Rey is not strong enough to stop him. “You think they are coming for you, Jedi? Of course they wouldn’t. They abandoned you here with me- just like your parents- just like everyone you will ever meet.”  
Rey pushes back, trying to break free of the grip. She cannot listen to him. He feels worse than the sickness in her mind. Her teeth grit together as she tries to concentrate on the force, on anything. Black spots start to appear in her vision.  
“No one wants you, girl-“He spits ominously. “-you’ll die all alone in the sand watching ship after ship leave you.”  
Rey’s right hand flies out and Kylo is knocked back against a wall. Air comes back to her in gasps. She becomes lightheaded from the sudden rush of oxygen. She stands up, her eyes filling with hot tears. She hadn’t realized she was walking until she is standing over Ren. Too suddenly, without her own accord, she’s holding out her own hand.  
A strangles sort of noise comes from the Knight. Rey dives into his mind, trying the same sort of attack he had used on her, but like she expects there is nothing but hate and greed and-  
-Remorse? –Regret? –Terrible heart aching sadness?  
She pulls herself from his mind as fast as she can, as though it is a hot stove. She does not want to know how complex he must be. She doesn’t want to think about him being human.  
“Good-“He laughs, as she releases her hold on him. “So there is hate in you.”  
Rey freezes, cursing herself for giving into it. Of course she had played right into his plan. Her hands fall limply at her side. Kylo takes in a deep breath.  
“You know nothing about me.” She spits the rest of the blood from her mouth with a cough. The red sludge lands on Kylo’s chest. Her eyes stare into the deep space of his visor.

 

“I know enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REY IS A BADASS.  
> Also, Kylo buddy, this isn't how you court a woman, I'm not sure if you know.  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter feat. creepy Hux, because god i hate him. (but he is not too bad too look at.)  
> Like always you're comments are SO APPRECIATED! I haven't been able to stop smiling guys!


	5. Uncomfortable

Rey stares up at the ceiling, counting the panels above them. So far she has amassed there are two hundred small ceramic squares above them, but she’s not even halfway across. Phasma has been sitting at her side for over an hour now- The two of them were supposed to meet Kylo Ren when they came into the large rectangular room, and yet he still is not here. Rey is not complaining though, She really didn’t want to see the man in the first place. She just feels bad for the captain, knowing it is a waste of the high ranking official’s time to sit here and play baby sitter. Phasma stays quiet today. She doesn’t look at her ward too much. Rey thinks the solider feels bad for her; they are only a day from Chandrila.   
Her eyes fall on the silver trooper. Phasma has become Rey’s favorite person on the Finalizer; mostly because she is the only one Rey knew by name that has not caused her any physical pain. Rey leans her head back into the wall. She has settled herself in the corner furthest from the door, so that when he entered he would not take her by surprise.  
Rey’s thoughts have been wondering to him a lot lately. After her peak inside his mind she wonders if it really is him she hears sometimes. It’s a silly thought. She knows it’s all but impossible but there is nothing in her knowledge that could allow someone to be a constant presence in the other’s brain. Maybe for a moment, yes, but not like this. There is a hollow in the back of her mind that she now realizes is him. The little voice feels like him, like the energy she had felt in his head-  
Or maybe she is just looking into it too much. Rey shakes the thoughts from her head. She is just alone and scared, trying to make excuses for her own temptations to the dark. Kylo’s voice in her head is not him, she knows, but her inner darkness manifesting itself in the best way it can.  
Two hundred and one- she thinks, trying to make the entire train of thought disappear, two hundred and two.  
But she had felt it- all that power they always boasted about. It had filled her veins as soon as she snapped. Its aura was still in her, or the impression of it was, far off in her consciousness. Now that she knew what it was like she could recognize it in herself. It wasn’t like the force she had been trained in. The dark side was suffocating and sticky. It hung on her desperately for the next few days, clinging to everything she touched. It was like submerging yourself in dense black oil.

The door slides open with a whoosh. Captain Phasma scrambles to her feet to stand at attention. Rey doesn’t bother moving. If anything she sinks lower into her corner as Kylo Ren’s presence fills into the room. It sinks in before he is even inside.   
Kylo Ren stalks in.  
“ Captain Phasma-” Ren steps closer to them, nodding in greeting. “You are relieved.” The silver trooper bows her head slightly. Rey’s arm shoots out before she decides to do so. Her fingers latch around Phasma’s wrist. Don’t leave, She wants so say, but as soon as her hands are around the armor Rey realizes it is not in her power to ask things like that. She quickly releases the Captain’s wrist.  
Phasma’s helmet tilts back too look at her. A second passes between them where Phasma tries to convey her apologizes without words. She turns back, however, and Rey winces with each clink of her silver-plated armor. 

The door slides shut with a slam.

“Jedi.” Kylo Ren offers his hand to help her up. Rey frowns and uses the wall to stand up on her own. She hadn’t quite thought this to fruition, however, because now she is trapped in a corner.

“If you’re going to start choking me again I’d like some warning.”

He shakes his head.

“No. I won’t.” 

Part of her just wishes she could see his face. Back on Starkiller she remembers thinking how easily readable he was. All his thoughts planted firmly in his eyes. Rey just wants to know if there is bloodlust in them- whether she should get ready for a fight.  
“Mask.” She reminds him, shortly after remembering herself. After all it was one of the only stipulations she had given, and they were, in fact all alone. With a grunt he releases the visor’s mechanism, pulling it off his head. He lowers the helmet to his side, holding it against his hip and elbow.  
She finds herself staring for a moment. In the chamber with Snoke she hadn’t really gotten a good look at him. She had forgotten how handsome he was, not that it was noteworthy. She had really been expecting the man to match his actions underneath and instead-  
His hair has gotten a little longer, all curled up from being trapped inside his helmet. Her eyes follow the pattern of dark freckles across pale skin, until they meet the large gash across his face. It is arguably more jagged than it looked in the dark, longer even. She follows it up, feeling a mix of guilt and satisfaction at her handiwork, and meets his eyes. Rey quickly looks away. She had after all, wanted to see his eyes, but actually looking into them is too intense.  
There is a new scar, she takes it in. The wound is still fresh with stitches intertwining flesh, winding its way from his collar, stopping just short of his jaw.  
“You noticed?” He snaps. “It was my punishment for being unable to keep you in line.”  
She shouldn’t have any remorse for the gash, but she can imagine the pain it would have caused perfectly. She bets his shoulder even aches still, somehow she knows it does, almost like she can feel it. Her eyes move away from his jaw and against his gaze. His eyes flicker, trying to tell her something she can’t quite understand, something Ren could never say. But Rey isn’t skilled enough in his nuanced actions to understand it.  
They stare at each other in silence; breath leaves Kylo in a sigh. Her eyes fall to his lips. They are half-parted, slightly dragging in breath. They twitch with half-formed words. He doesn’t know what to say to her.  
Rey wants to spit on him. She wants to run up and throw her hands around his throat. She’d rather die right here than continue having him watch her any further. He doesn’t get to look at her like that. There are still large purple bruises around her throat. She decides she’d much rather have him masked, but it is too late, if she asks now he’ll know just how much he really intimidates her. Kylo stalks across the room where a small table sits. He sets his mask down too harshly, and grabs something from the surfaces. He tosses it at her. Rey catches it in one hand, not even leaving his gaze. She can feel in her hand it is a wooden staff, and from all her time with Master Luke she knows exactly what this means. Kylo takes a staff in his hand as well and walks to stand a foot across from her.  
“I bet you’re getting dull.” His voice is even. He spins the wood around his side like a saber. “Supreme Leader has ordered me to keep you well trained. I figured you might like a fight.” Kylo takes a few steps closer, placing his staff against hers.   
“Depends, can I whack you over the head with this?” Because that’s all Rey really wants to do. She almost laughs as irritation crosses into his face. Rey truthfully hates every inch of this man, and it might actually be fun to get to beat the kriff out of him. 

“If you get the opportunity-” Kylo sinks into form. “But I doubt you will Scavenger.”

“How many times am I going to have to point out that scar?” She clashes her staff against his. He’s quick though, he sweeps a leg under her feet as she does. Rey tumbles to the ground.  
“How many times do I have to tell you that you got lucky?” He stands straight up, offering his hand to help her up. Rey stands up on her own once again. The last thing she wants to do is touch him. “I was already wounded.”  
They reset, balancing their staffs against each other. Rey presses her lips into a tight line. She takes in a deep breath. Kylo knocks his staff upwards from the bottom. He’s trying to knock her down again. Rey hops over the blow, backing up a few feet. She swings hers in a circle, holding it straight behind herself. He comes for her, and she whips the staff around her, almost knocking his from his hand. He gets a hit onto her leg, but before he can knock her over Rey throws out a hand and he slides backwards on his heel.

“I didn’t say you could use the force.” Kylo balances himself. 

“Well you didn’t mind using the other night; I figured it wouldn’t bother you.” Kylo bristles. Rey takes the opportunity to hit him in the gut with her staff. She spins the wood back through her fingers, going in for a hit to the side of the head.

“It would have been a lot worse if I had just left you with Hux.” He snaps, as though it is an explanation for his actions. His staff meets hers just before it smacks into his ear. Rey takes a step back, furious.

“Oh so you rescued me? Is that what you’re saying? Because I don’t think force choking counts as-“

“Snoke wanted to know you had darkness in you. “He snaps. Their staffs are clashing together so hard its almost hard to hear him over the whacks. “It was let me bring it out or let Hux do god knows what-“

“Don’t act like you care-“

“I don’t.” He bites. She swings her staff down. It knocks into his shoulder. The breath leaves him as she strikes right into his stitches. He uses his to knock it upwards, snaking a leg under hers and pulling her against him. “I did you a favor and you should appreciate it.” Rey has to look up at him. She’s never really realized how much taller he is than her. She is not as intimidated as she should be though. Her teeth grit together as she tries to come up with something to say.

“I’m sorry. I don’t accept favors from kriffing maniacs.” Her breath lands against his face. Kylo’s staff bears down on her, knocking her to the ground. He walks away from her at once. Ren slams his staff down onto the table. Her chest heaves with each of her breaths. She watches him from the floor. 

And then he tosses something at her. By reflex her hands catch something cold and cylindrical.  
“My lightsaber?” Rey’s eyebrow quirks up with her voice. She didn’t think she’d ever see it again. The saber rolls around in her palms as she inspects it. Part of her feels like she’s being lied too. Her eyes leave the weapon and look to his back.  
“My lightsaber.” He corrects. He turns back, walking to come help her up.“But if you’re going to be my-“ If she were crazy she’d say his cheeks picked up some pink. Ren abandons the thought completely. “You’ll need to be able to protect yourself.”  
“And you just trust me?” Not that she really wants to question it. Disbelief fills her veins as her grips the weapon tightly. How could he be this stupid? He holds out his hand, and for once, Rey takes it. She’s never touched him without his gloves on. His skin is warm, palms and fingertips calloused. He pulls her up with little effort.  
“You’re surrounded, Even if you tried something you wouldn’t get far, especially with me around.” He backs away from her, accidently pulling her too close as he helped her. He turns his back to her again. “Just keep Hux away.”  
Ren’s eyes fall to the window. He watches the slowly approaching planet. Rey can’t believe she’s even thinking it, but she is grateful for the gesture. She tucks the saber into her belt loop.  
“Why Chandrila?”Rey has been wondering it for a while, but as the planet looms near it looks more beautiful than she imagined. Greens and blues swirl together in patterns. The storms on the horizon have a grey color to them.  
“This is my birth place.” Kylo answers her, leaning down on the railing. She imagines her General, swollen and exhausted, hobbling through the streets she’s seen in holos. She tries to picture Kylo Ren as nothing more than an infant, pink and screaming, but it puts an odd taste in her mouth. “It is here to show the Resistance they don’t control nearly as much as they used to.”  
Then Rey puts two and two together. Snoke really is cruel.  
“It’s a message to Leia.” Kylo’s frown becomes more pronounced.  
“Do not talk about her, Jedi.” He stands straight, turning his back against the planet. “Come on, I’ll take you back. We both need our rest.”  
Kylo picks up his mask, sliding it over his hair. As soon as it’s back on tension fills the air again. She had, somehow, began to relax- which frightens her more than it should. Either way she feels better with her saber at her hip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, guys! This one was kinda hard for me- I still don't really like it I just couldn't figure out what else to do.   
> They'll be planet-bound next chapter though! It might take me a few days to update because I work on the weekends, but i'll do my best for you! As always your feedback gives me LIFE. I love all you guys!


	6. Hanna City

For the second time Rey is loaded onto a shuttle. This time, fortunately, they have the respect to leave her unbound. Captain Phasma stays planted at her side, however. Unfortunately, they’ve forced her into one of those ridiculously long white dresses. The silk clings to her like its survival depends on it. Rey feels impractical at best, completely humiliated at worst. She is a Jedi and they are treating her like a purse dog. Part of her dies with the thought.  
It’s a small trip, an hour at most, to the surface of the planet.   
The first thing Rey’s eyes see when they make surface contact is a large wall of graffiti, half-torn down and taped off. It is a crumbling, but she can make out the portrait. There are stormtroopers, half faded by now, defaced with rebel insignias. Each of their helmets is painted a bright color, but half of it has been destroyed. The crews working around it are demolishing the rest. Rey’s heart sinks. The portrait was the rebel’s mark on the city- it was probably the last evidence of The Republic ever claiming stake here.  
The air is crisp, a hint of spring still lingering out of the winter. The sun shines brightly down on her skin, and Rey stretches her limbs out in front of her, missing the warmth.  
“This is Hanna City.” Phasma speaks, guiding her through the small crowd that has built around them. There are small orbs floating in the air and it takes Rey a moment to realize they are cameras. The silver trooper helps her into an all black vehicle. “What do you think of it?”   
Rey watches the window carefully, trying to form an opinion.   
There are buildings taller than she had ever imagined here. They are chrome and glass and reach up to god himself. They grow like trees in the shadows, twisting for the littlest of light. Everywhere, even in the sky, vehicles speed around, stopping and going at the floating lights. The city is alive though, not only with people bustling every which way, but nature has found a way to mix itself around the buildings and pavement. There is so much greener than she would have imagined.  
“It’s beautiful. “ She says earnestly.   
\--  
The hotel room she is brought to is the size of quarters for ten. It is all shades of red, from the burgundy curtains around the bed to the large scarlet chairs at the dining table, to the dark cherry gossamer blowing gentle away from the balcony. It has been made for a very rich woman.  
Hux is already there waiting, his groomed orange hair blending in well with the aesthetic of the palace.  
“I’m glad you’ve arrived safely, Lady Rey.” Somehow, she doesn’t quite believe him as he bites through his teeth. Rey only nods in response. “You have today to relax; the ceremony will be tomorrow evening.” Knots churn themselves into her stomach. Of course, She knew the wedding would be the end game of this little trip, but she has just tried so hard to keep it from her thoughts that its like Hux is physically punching her with the news. She has to come up with something- she has to get out of this.

There are a few moments of awkward silence, as Rey chews on her lip nervously, and then something occurs to the small brunette.

“Has Aureena contacted anyone about my fitting?” She turns to look at Phasma, who for once, looks down at her feet, and then to General Hux. It was the only good thing about landing on Chandrilla- getting to see a friendly face. She had found herself counting the days till her next contact with the Arkanian, hoping for more information about her rescue, and if nothing else, the comfort of a presence that had nothing to do with the first order.  
“Miss Tador was caught with some… incriminating evidence on her way into the planet’s atmosphere.” Hux speaks like it cannot be helped. “She will not be returning.”  
Rey lowers herself into one of the chairs. She mulls the words over in her mind, not truly believing it for a moment. It’s not like she had really known the woman, but her bright smile comes into mind. It had been a brief meeting, but so far, it was the most comforting memory she had of the entire First Order stay.  
Rey can’t help but feel personally responsible; as though, had she just not held onto this so hard the woman would be fine. There is no doubt what has happened to Aureena, especially knowing she must’ve had evidence of her assistance to the resistance on her. Rey knows her life force will not be burning by the time night falls. Her stomach furhter twists into itself. She white knuckle grips the upholstery of her arm chair. All of a sudden she feels heavy, like her limbs are covered in thick oil. It creeps back up onto her despite all her meditation. Hatred boils within her. Rey, for the first time, pictures herself ramming her saber straight through the General’s chest. And it’s actually possible; the saber hangs on a silver belt around her waist. She could do it. She wants to stand up and lash out against the man who most likely made the orders. She wants to kill him and she could.  
‘Good.’ She can hear Kylo in her thoughts, relishing in this dark energy. ‘Do us both a favor and dispose of him. Supreme Leader would forgive you. After all- you’re his precious little project.’  
His voice, strangely enough, calls her away from the dark thoughts. Anything Kylo Ren wanted her to do, no matter how satisfying, wouldn’t be right. Rey draws in a deep breath through her nostrils, closing her eyes with the movement. She pulls her hand off her saber hilt, not even realizing she had been gripping it. Make yourself Air, she thinks, light and malleable; you are air. The breath leaves her in more of a distasteful sigh than she meant it, but most of the dark thoughts leave with it. She moves to face Phasma.  
“I want to see the city.” She knows they probably won’t allow it, but Rey does not think she can be trapped in her bridal suite, despite only being here a few moments. In a city this big maybe she could even lose Phasma. There are a few moments of silence, where she is absolutely sure they will say no, but then Hux’s lips shoot up in a sharp smirk. He holds a hand out to her. Instead of taking it, however, Rey stands up by herself, glaring down at the pale hand distastefully.   
“ I’ll let Lord Ren know of your wishes.” He turns away from her, pointing his hand up at the large com screen. “Oh, and you have a call.”  
Rey’s eyes follow his hand straight to the comm., where General Leia’s face stares down at her frozen. Rey practically runs across the room to accept it. If she knew communication was allowed she would have called her so long ago.   
“Rey.” The general’s eyes soften at once. “They told me they’d only give me a few minutes to speak with you.” The young Jedi can’t breathe. This has to be some sort of trick. Just seeing the General’s face gets her adrenalin pumping.   
“Its so good to see you, General.” Rey grins, for the first time since being captive. She wants to reach her hand across and press it to the older woman’s cheek. Leia smiles back as though it is an infection.  
“You too, Rey. Are you okay? Have they hurt you?” Rey presses her lips into a line and shakes her head. There is no need to worry Leia anymore. “Listen, I just needed to let you know they’ve altered the deal. Snoke won’t release the prisoners until after the… ceremony.” Rey’s heart sinks. Well, there goes that half-formed plan.   
“Alright.” It doesn’t matter, Rey tells herself, She had already know this would happen. She had already agreed to this. But disappointment floods her body. She had really believed the Resistance would not let her rot here this long. She had wished the wedding would result in blaster fire and a dead darksider.   
Maybe they really wouldn’t come for her… Maybe Kylo Ren was right.  
“Hang in there, Rey. You’re the strongest girl I’ve ever met.”  
“Thank you General.” Rey inclines her head.   
“We all miss you. “ Leia looks down at her lap. A guilty expression over comes her shadowed features. “We appreciate what you’re doing for us. You’re saving the galaxy, you know that?”   
Rey nods, ignoring the tears pooling up in her eyes. There isn’t anything she wouldn’t give to wrap her arms around the woman in the screen. Her lips pull themselves into a frown.   
“If my son hurts you Rey I’ll personally fly an X-wing over there and kick his ass.”  
“He’s not your son anymore, General.” The last thing Rey sees before General Hux shuts off the comm. is Leia wincing from the harshness of her comment, but Rey dies not feel bad. It is true, there is not an ounce of Ben Solo left in that monster.   
\--  
She has been alone for the better part of three hours when there is a knock on her door. Rey really does not feel like rising from the softest bed she’s ever touched to answer it, but there is a call that makes her rise.  
“Scavenger, I know you’re in there.” Shit. She really dreads opening the door now, but she rises and does so anyway. Kylo Ren stands on the other side in full regalia. “I was informed you wanted to leave the premise?”  
Rey raises an eyebrow at him. She has the uncontrollable urge to shut the door in his face, and it takes all her strength to fight it away.  
“With Phasma, yes.” He leans down so that his face is even with hers.  
“Phasma has better things to do, as I should.” Rey can basically feel the distaste radiating off him as he speaks. They don’t actually expect her to go on a stroll with him, though, do they?  
“She didn’t have better things on the Finalizer.” Rey backs away from him. She doesn’t like how unsettling it is for his mask to be on her level. She wonders if she is going to have to stare into that mask for the rest of her life.   
“Yes but she’s overseeing the security of the w-“ Kylo stops for a moment. He stands straight once again, shaking his head. “of the event. I’m to accompany you where you’d like to go.” He sighs.  
“Then I’d rather stay here.” She shuts the door, but her feet stay planted in the same spot, staring intently at the wood. Rey doesn’t really know why she can’t move. There is another series of rapping that almost makes her flinch.  
“Scavenger, come on.” She presses her hand against the wood. Why won’t he just leave? “I wouldn’t think the great Jedi were this petty.”  
“I am not being petty.”Rey grits her teeth together and swings the door wide open.  
“Oh, so then you’re scared to go somewhere with me?” She can practically hear his smirk. It makes her frown even more pronounced.  
“-Like I could ever be scared of a spineless nerf-herder like you.” To prove her point she stands up straight and squares her shoulders. It looks less menacing than she meant it and more like a little girl proving she’s tough.   
“Then what is stopping you from seeing the city?”She turns her nose up at him. How about the fact she doesn’t want to step a foot anywhere next to a merciless warlord?  
“Nothing.” She hisses at him. He holds his hand out and Rey curses herself for falling into his trap. It was an obvious ploy but her pride won. She sets her hand in his, and he pulls her down the hallway. As soon as her hotel door is shut he releases his grip from her.  
It isn’t until they are walking down the sidewalk that Kylo speaks up again.  
“Have you ever been to a planet like this?” He can’t help but notice how wide her eyes are as they take in everything surrounding them. She tries to look all the way up to the tip top of each building, but every time they pass flowers or trees she stops and takes them all in.  
“No.” She admits, thumbing over the pink petals of a bush to her side. “Cities have never been in the agenda.”  
“Well, Hanna City is more rural than most. You should see Courascant.” Rey does not think she would like Courascant, from the little she’s heard about it, and is very thankful to have not been there yet. She leaves the flowers and keeps her pace at his side. He takes long, fast steps and she has to double hers up to keep up. The sidewalk they walk along doubles as a viewing platform of the port. As soon as the Trees have parted Rey stops completely to stare at the water. She’s never seen anything so blue. It is not thick and dark like the water on Ach-to. The beach is full of white sand that slowly fades into an aquamarine of the ocean.   
“It would be a nice place to live-” She takes in the sea air, practically tasting the salt. “-with all the green and the water right here.” Kylo nods, letting his elbows rest onto the railing. He looks out over the sea.  
“Supreme Leader will most likely let you pick a planet to be stationed on. If he has you carry out similar duties to mine you’ll never see it, but it is nice to have a home.” The wind shuffles his cloaks around.  
“Where is yours?” Rey isn’t sure why she asks, she does not care about what kind of planet Kylo Ren finds suitable. But she thinks she’d like to pick a planet like this- warm, but not hot and dry, and full of people to get lost in. She could learn to swim and sit by the ocean.  
“Here” Oh, He’s home. She thinks, no wonder he is in such a cordial mood. She looks around the large, scaling city, wondering which one of the buildings he calls his. She does not have to wonder for long. He leans down over the railing and points towards the water.   
Her eyes follow his finger to a nondescript silver building against the rocks and waves. It is much smaller than she thought it would be, not one of the looming sky scrapers but a shack, for lack of better word, out on the jagged rocks that the waves lap at.  
“Its’s-…simple.”She doesn’t mean it as an insult, but Kylo stands up tall and scoffs at her.  
“Weren’t you living in an AT-AT?” Instead of giving him an answer she starts to walk ahead of him, fast paced down the trail. Kylo keeps an eye on her, but lets her stay a good foot or so in front. He does not want to hear her voice anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that took so long, guys! It was a mix of being sick and enjoying the Texas heat. It finally got warm enough to go boating and swimming and I couldn't help myself! Also, I just couldn't get Kylo to do what I wanted and stay in character so I rewrote this a bunch! Let me know what you think! I'm so EXCITED for the next chapter!  
> Thank you for all the wonderful comments and Kudos! I really appreciate it!


	7. Blood Magic

The dress is cream and way too heavy to be practical. It is made out of several different soft materials Rey could not identify if there was a blaster to her head. She has drunk at least nineteen cups of caff in the last twelve hours and all her limbs are literally shaking.  
She had been escorted to the facilities spa very early in the morning, where two young silent Twi’leks spent the better part of thirteen hours pulling and erasing away every imperfection on her body. The bathed her in sweet perfumed water that was hot enough to burn her skin, and stripped her of hair with long sheets that stuck to her so tightly they left her legs bright red when removed. They washed her hair and massaged her scalp and combed every knot the desert had left in it away like it had never happened. One did her nails long and white and the other painted her toe nails, which Rey thought was unnecessary and felt funny. But she liked the young women, because every time she asked for another cup of caff they willingly obliged. It hadn’t calmed her nerves any, but her thoughts were racing so fast it was hard to concentrate on the good or the negative- not that there was even a lot of good thoughts.   
The two young women had sewn more hair into her own, to make it hang to her waist even with the finger sized curls they had spent hours fixing. The older one applied make up to Rey’s tanned skin. It had never been covered with anything before and even know she had to resist the urge to scratch the paint off, even though it was really only enough to accentuate her natural beauty. The other Twi’lek placed small white flower after flower into her dark locks, pinning each one with extra care. They were the same flowers painstakingly sewn into every inch of her gown. She was covered in the little petals, meant to look more ethereal than desert rat, like she belonged to the stars.  
Looking at herself in the mirror Rey had thought she belonged to the stars. She hadn’t recognized herself even after realizing that a mirror stood before her. The only reason she knew it had to be her was that the thin floor length veil she wore hung around the mirrored figure as well.   
Rey looks down from the oak door in front of her at her fingers and tries to make them stop shaking. She concentrates hard on it and they do still, but only for a moment. She wishes she were in her AT-AT, alone and crying, waiting for her parents patiently. There is a moment that she watches herself, day after day collecting parts and starving, and she wonders if any of this was really worth it. Her hands flatten down the large ball gown in front of her. So many people had died for her to become a Jedi, even this dress was a reminder of it- and she had to be the kriffing worst Jedi the galaxy had ever seen. She balls her hands up in fists, closing her eyes tightly.   
Her heart thumps hard against her chest. Her foot taps the ground with a ferocity she didn’t know was in her.  
You can do this. Rey tells herself, over and over again. It is just a bunch of words that mean nothing. It is just a marriage that means nothing.   
The tap on her shoulder almost sends Rey into a panic. She turns to look squarely at the older twi’lek, who has been with her all day.   
“Are you ready?” Rey nods. She will never be ready. The woman steps in front of her, and pushes the oak door open with a teal hand.  
It is dusk outside, the sun barley hangs on the planet thrusting reds onto what little of the horizon it still lays claim too. The planets moon is already proud in the sky, surrounded by tiny stars. Rey takes a step onto the stone; fresh flowers hit her nose at once, as does the smell of recent rain. The little stone path she is deposited on is surrounded on both sides by tall bushes of white flowers, like the ones on her dress. There are two figures at the end of the path with the moon large behind them.  
“Nwûl tash.  
Dzwol shâsotkun.” There is an old man standing next to Kylo who begins speaking as soon as Rey starts her walk towards them. The Priest is dressed in long Red robes, which are intricately carved with golden threads. He has an elaborate twisting gold decoration hanging over his eyes, covering his bald head from the world.   
“Shâsotjontû châtsatul nu tyûk.  
Tyûkjontû châtsatul nu midwan.” Behind her are the same orbs that littered the sky when she had first arrived in Hanna city. They decorate the night’s horizon like warm lanterns in the sky, contrasting softly against the bright white of the stars.  
“Midwanjontû châtsatul nu asha.  
Ashajontû kotswinot itsu nuyak.” Kylo stands slightly underneath a half erected trellis next to the Priest that stands tall and curved. There are dark flowers climbing up it but none of them have made it very far yet. He is clad in some kind of dark dress uniform, with fur around his shoulders and gold medals adorning his chest. Red ropes hand around his shoulders, matching the caps on them. His long black cloak is pushed over one of his shoulders, but his other side, where his hand rests lightly on his lightsaber hilt, is uncovered. Kylo Ren is unmasked. His long black hair has a soft curl to it. It makes his face seem less daunting. His shadowed brown eyes take in every inch of her with each of her steps; like she is the only cure to his diseases, as she gets closer she can’t help but notice how long his eyelashes are.

He looks almost like a prince. She brushes the unwelcomed thought out as soon as it occurs to her.

“Wonoksh Qyâsik nun.”  
The language is odd and unfamiliar to Rey she focuses on it instead. There is something in her that tells her this is not native language of Chandrila. Something in the words pulls at her chest, at the slick oil feeling that has slowly been building up there. She stops directly in front of Kylo, turning in to face him so that the clergy is between them. Up close he is even harder to look away from. This is not a wedding ceremony she has ever seen before.  
‘It is an ancient sith ceremony.’ Kylo’s voice is in her head, and it makes her jump. He directly answered her question, and she knows it is him in her mind. It’s been him this entire time. ‘The supreme leader thought it made the most sense in this situation.’  
The older man pulls a chalice from within his dark red cloaks with his left hand and a rusted blade with his right. He turns to Kylo, who slips his glove off one hand. The Knight takes the knife in his gloved fist and places the blade into the skin of his open palm. His lips fall slightly open as he looks down to his hands. Rey wants to follow his eyes and figure out exactly what is happening but her eyes become mesmerized by his lips as soon as he begins speaking.  
“With this blood you are bound to me-“His voice is shaky, but he seems to have practiced this before, maybe nervously quiet under his breath as he paced his bedroom last night. She takes in his whole face, from his furrowed brows and parted lips to the way his eyes flicker up into hers. Rey hates that she can see his eyes- She’d rather marry a creature in a mask than have to stare into his deep, scared eyes in the moment. “With this blood I swear myself to you. You’re life is mine, and mine only, to keep, or to take. My life is yours. “He makes a tight fist around it, but does not wince. Once there is a wide gash into his hand he takes the knife from it and turns his fist over the chalice squeezing his fist tighter. “With this blood I seal my fate to you.”Rey almost wants to gag at the amount of blood that goes into the gold but she cannot move with the intensity of their lock.   
Kylo Ren holds the knife out to her, and Rey cannot help but raise an eyebrow up to him. Surely he doesn’t expect her to-  
He presses the hilt into her palm, nodding slowly. She thinks about stabbing him in the chest with it, but then her mind wanders to Poe Dameron and the rest of the Resistance, in a cell somewhere almost tasting freedom.  
Rey bits down on her lip as she cuts into her palm. It is a quick clean cut and she holds her hand over the Chalice. The blood drops down as she tries to remember the words. With each ounce of her blood that hits his she can feel something change, but she can’t figure out what it is.  
‘With this blood-‘ Kylo supplies the words in her mind moments before they leave her lips.  
“With this blood you are bound to me. With this blood I swear myself to you.” She should feel sick, but the only thing Rey can actually feel as her blood mingles with his is akin to a tight string tying itself around her ribcage, one that was already there making knot after knot, securing its self. “Your life is mine, and mine only, to keep or to take.” She emphasizes her last word, making sure he knows her intentions. Her gaze falls down to his chest. “My life is yours.” With the last vestige of her bravery she forces herself to look into his eyes again. Rey realizes in that moment that his eyes unsettle her so much not because she can read him so clearly, but because she knows he can see everything in her. The eyes are both of their weaknesses and there are no secrets between them in the moment. “With this Blood I seal my fate to you.”  
“Tave rysys th’ruonis j’us vi wo” The old man speaks up once again. ‘The bond seals you as one.’ Kylo supplies a translation. The clergy takes Rey’s cut hand in his own, and presses it to Kylo’s wound. He wraps their fingers around each other. “j'us galez kiss kia ruonis tave rysys” Kylo looks from the man down to her, a little stunned. The breath leaves him in what is not quite a flustered little chuckle. Rey can guess exactly what the man said without a translation, mostly because she’s sure the Sith don’t have a word for kiss. He looks down to his feet, and then back up. His cheeks start to pick up a very noticeable red stain. Kylo leans down, his back hunching over her. He stares at Rey so long she wants to hit him.  
She counts ten seconds before her palms start sweating. Do it. She thinks, Get it over with. She is practically screaming it at him within her mind. Rey can’t sit here and imagine how bad this is going to be any longer.   
‘Just, give me a moment, scavenger.’ The voice in her head responds, corresponding with the annoyed look on his face. He closes his eyes with a small sigh. Kylo is so close that his warm breath hits her face. She can smell him, she realizes, and he smells like ashes and leather. The stench fills her nostrils and settles there.  
Rey grows impatient. She has to stand on her toes to do it but quickly she places her lips against his.  
It is literally the worst moment of her life. The string that had been tying itself around her ribs is loose for all of two seconds before it pops tightly. The force swells around them so thick Rey can physically feel it manifesting on her limbs. The moment seems to go on for much longer than reality, like the world stops. Kylo absently places one of his large hands on her back, steadying her against him. It is not a quick peck like she intended, rather his lips lap at hers once or twice, and Rey is ashamed to admit her lips had responded well to him. When she lands flat on her feet once again she can not only hear her own heart slamming against her chest, but it is like she can feel another heart, another consciousness in her and they are both in a whirlwind neither expected. It is the worst moment of Rey’s life because it is the one moment that there will never be any turning back from.  
It is done.  
They were now bound to each other by the force, Sith blood magic, and marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is not as long and I'm sorry for that. I just didn't want to tag anything on and ruin the feel.
> 
> ITS OFFICIAL! REY SOLO AF!
> 
> I'm so excited guys! This was my favorite chapter to write so far. There isn't much of their banter, but they were both super nervous so give them some slack. Also at the end the Preist says "You may kiss to seal the bond." I want to say that Sith is super accurate but I literally used the first translator on google soooo- I'm sorry. Tell me what you think! I'm so hype to hear what you guys have to say about the wedding!


	8. The Rest of the Ordeal

They are almost immediately shuffled into a large banquet hall together. Apparently, there is an elaborate feast to celebrate their union. Each door is flanked by three storm troopers, and the double entrance they enter through has six, but two only hold the door open for them. Rey has been absolutely rigid at Kylo’s side for the past ten minutes. The caffeine has returned to her and her fingers shake hard in his hand.  
His hand? Rey quickly lets go. They had walked this whole way with the hands the clergy had set together still grasping firmly at each other. Something in her hums, displeased at the loss of contact, but Rey assures herself it is whatever this magic is and not her own body. She just has to think straight-  
God, She can’t even think. Every time she tries to process what has just happened she just thinks about the string in her chest that is most definitely tied to his. She just thinks about the consequences to being bound to this kind of man. She can just think about the way his lips felt against hers- the way the entire universe seemed to sing as though this was what it had been begging for its entire existence-  
Kylo throws a looks down at her and Rey shuts her eyes tight and dismisses the thoughts. She doesn’t know how to get him out. She has tried throwing up the regular Jedi mental walls- She’s thrown up mental dams at this point- but even without him in her mind she can feel his long limbs like it is as simple as having two bodies. She can feel the heat that radiates off him onto her side. They breath at the same pace. They walk with the same steps. Rey is about to shove her lightsaber through her chest when she looks up from the marble tile of the banquet hall.  
There are a few hundred First Order associates, eating, drinking, and dancing, who have all stopped mid activity to bow their heads to them. It makes Rey’s heart jump.  
“Ladies and Gentlemen,” There is an elder man dressed in a grey uniform who stands slightly ahead of them. Kylo keeps walking towards him and Rey has to double step to keep up. “Emperor Kylo Ren and Empress Rey.”  
The hall erupts into a roar of happy applause and shouted congratulations. Rey cannot help the bile she has to swallow down. With every passing second this just becomes more and more real. There is a small hole made in the dance floor for them.  
Kyo Ren offers his hand out to her. Rey does not budge. She raises an eyebrow and turns her head up to him.  
“No.” She answers quietly, but it is such a ridiculous idea it causes her to laugh. She did her part. Rey married the bastard but she would not sit here and make nice with him while all her friends rot away. Kylo frowns, but he does not take her answer at face value. He reaches out and snatches her hand back into his, pulling her onto the dance floor.  
“Trust me, Scavenger, I don’t want to do this either.” His hand finds the small of her back. It settles in perfectly, just like it had during their kiss. He pulls her closer, so that she is almost against his broad chest. The hand he’s in possession of goes up into the air with his. Rey doesn’t know what to do with her other hand though, it limply floats in the air.  
“Then don’t” She bites back. He lets go of her back just long enough to grab her free hand and set it on his shoulder. Too suddenly, Kylo starts moving, gracefully for how lanky he is, and Rey can’t help but stumble over herself. Her face gets hot as her eyes focus on all the people watching them.  
“It is not that easy.” She can almost hear a smile in his voice. Rey does not risk looking up at him, however. She keeps her eyes focused on her feet, trying to figure out his steps and keep pace with them. He leans down enough in their dance so that her face is against his cheek and then whispers, all too silent. “You can’t dance?”  
Rey tugs her face away from him. She is now sure her cheeks are three shades redder than they should be. It was none of his R’iia damned business what she could and couldn’t do. Very subtly, with the hand on her waist, he lifts her up and places her feet on his own. It is seamless and with her large dress not a soul can even tell. This gesture, however it was intended, sends Rey into a fury.  
“I don’t need your help.” She whispers, through gritted teeth as he keeps dancing. The song the band plays begins to swell. Their bond sways along with it at their proximity. Rey’s body has nowhere to go but against his. He slows down his pace to keep time with the music, gently holding her up.  
“I never said I wanted to help you, mir’sheb.” Rey’s frown becomes more pronounced. She’s a lot of things, but she is not a smartass. He sets her down on the floor again when the crowd starts clapping. While he untangles himself from her he makes sure to keep her arm in his. “If you look like an idiot now I look like an idiot.” He leads her off the marble tile, while tight faced couples watch them and pretend to smile.  
This is all just an excuse to party to them. It makes Rey sick. They don’t care that she’s been forced into this- They don’t think of anything but themselves-  
“They don’t know.” Kylo speaks up, to answer her thoughts. “That would offer the opposite results of what Supreme Leader is trying to accomplish.”Rey bites her lip, suddenly feeling guilty for being so rude. There will be several parties tonight, it occurs to her, and she wonders if she could get away with a stolen tie fighter and make it home in time to get drunk with Poe.  
“Has the Resistance been released?” She asks under her breath. Kylo nods.  
“They are being handed over to the General at this very moment.” He leans over to her ear. “The ships are out back-“He bites sarcastically. “I wouldn’t want to stop you from a good buzz.”  
Was nothing safe? She stops for a moment. Was that a joke? He nods as he leans back up, looking too pleased with himself. Rey’s whole face scrunches up with displeasure. This, she already knew, was not going to be fun- but it was going to be that much worse if Kylo Ren cracked mediocre jokes the entire time. She makes no attempt to mask the thought from him.  
General Hux stands ahead of them, arms folded neatly behind him back, as though he’s been waiting his whole life to see Kylo Ren look this miserable- but there is something in his face that seems disappointed. He gives a slight bow of the head.  
“Lord Ren-“  
“Emperor Ren-“ She can read how proud the horrid look on the red head’s face makes her husband.  
“Emperor Ren-“ General Hux starts over, scowling this time. “We’ve had the best foods on the planet made to celebrate. We’ve been waiting for you to start.”  
There are two chairs saved for them at one of the longer tables. Rey really wishes she could say her appetite had left her with the disgust of the night, but the food is more lavish than she has ever seen and she’s been strictly caff for the better part of the month. As soon as a steaming plate of sauced meat is placed in front of her Rey starts to scarf it down. She doesn’t even give enough time between bites to appreciate the Smokey flavor. Fine Chandrilian wine is set to her side and Rey takes a couple gulps.  
After all, like he said, she’s not going to let Kylo Ren stop her from a good buzz. It might even make this whole shindig more tolerable. The clunk of armor hits her ear and Rey turns around to see Phasma standing slightly behind her. She gives the solider her best smile, genuinely happy to see a familiar face. Phasma bows her head and makes her congratulations clear, but Rey knows her hearts not in it.  
There are people everywhere, and it makes Rey wonder if this is her life now- being paraded around next to Kylo on Chandrila mingling the wealthy- or if she is to become one of Snoke’s hands. She wonders if they will get back on the Star Destroyer above and if the last thing she ever sees is going to be those bleak metal walls. There is a moment that Rey considers giving into the dark side, her eyes fall on Kylo, maybe this kind of life would be easier without morals-  
Maybe that’s why he did it.  
He turns his face to meet her gaze and Rey drops all thoughts of giving in. She decides, instead, to make his life a living nightmare no matter what planet they end up on.  
“So what’s the plan now?” Rey throws her fork onto her plate, grabbing her beverage and taking in a good sip. She is a little curious. After all this is the last day of certainly she has. The plan from now on has not been mentioned once.  
“You and Lord Ren depart on your honeymoon in the-“ Phasma has to stop speaking. Rey has begun choking on her wine. All eyes at the table stare her down, some, she knows, are hoping she chokes to death. The young Jedi quickly recovers with the thought.  
“H-honeymoon?”She looks over to her new husband, who chews on his food unaffected. He knew the plan all along and Rey can’t help but feel like she’s gotten the short end of the stick. She’s mad he wouldn’t say anything to her, which is silly because why would he? Hux takes his napkin from his lap and wipes his mouth.  
“You and Lord Ren will be going on a tour of a few systems.” He speaks up, setting his napkin on his plate. “ Supreme Leader wants the news spread of his new Emperors. You-“ His eyes narrow in on her. Rey squares her shoulders up in an attempt to look scarier. “-are to behave yourself and pretend to have a good time.” Phasma shrugs behind her.  
“It’s a basically a free vacation.” The captain makes a great point, and under any other name, with any one else Rey might enjoy it, but to call it a Honeymoon with Kylo Ren. She can’t help but shudder.  
\--  
They are escorted to Kylo’s home by captain Phasma and a few of her best troops. Rey doesn’t mind the journey, she makes small chit chat with Phasma but as soon as Kylo closes the door on them Rey is distraught once again.  
This whole day was just too kriffing much.  
Rey takes a moment to take in the small entry hallway before walking in after him. It is not black with the heads of his enemies like she might have imagined, but rather the walls are a navy blue- there is nothing really hanging on them save for a clock towards the archway. She follows Kylo into the other room. It is all grey something between a living room and bedroom combined. There is another archway that leads to a small kitchen and a black door she can only assume is the fresher.  
He unfastens his cloak from around his shoulders. Rey’s entire body locks up.  
“I’m not going to do anything to you- if that’s what you’re scared of.” Kylo throws his cloak onto his bed, stretching his arms above him. His neck pops as he slides his head from side to side.  
“I’m not scared.” She sneers, but it is apparent he knows she is lying. She presses herself up against the wall, as far from him as it will allow. “Besides, isn’t that the whole plan? More darksiders?”  
He stiffens. His own fear starts to bleed over the bond.  
“Supreme Leader never gave me a-“ He almost chokes stumbling over his words. “A time limit.” Kylo takes a second to loosen his shoulders again, and he begins unbuttoning the top coat of his uniform. He sets his coat onto his cloak. “I’m not a savage.” Underneath he only wears a slim tank top and Rey cannot help but stare. She’s never actually seen his arms but they are much more muscular than she would have anticipated; along with the little bit of his shoulders and chest that peak out along the top.  
Something else floats along the bond, and when Kylo turns to look at her he is actually smirking.  
“Unless that is you would like me to-? You don’t seem to hate your husband too much now, Jedi.”  
She can’t do anything but stare at him with her mouth open. Anger seethes into her veins but she doesn’t know what to do with it.  
“Like I couldn’t feel you ogling me all night.” She bites back. Teeth break through his smile.  
“But I never claimed to hate you.”  
“I don’t give two Bantha ticks about what you claim.”Rey leaves the room as quickly as possible. She will not give him a response. He is the scourge of the universe. She says it a few times in her head. This is all just some kriffed up Sith magic doing this. Kylo doesn’t have the heart to tell her the spell did nothing more their bind their physical bodies and souls together, but he doesn’t have to, deep down she knows it.  
She sits at his kitchen table for hours, tapping her fingers into the steel, trying to think of the best way to make a break for it. Leia will come for her, now that the prisoners are free. She will not have to go on a honeymoon with this maniac.  
It is nearly three in the morning before her head finally sleeps into the cradle of her elbows on the table. The last thing she thinks about before she loses herself is their kiss. She had not been expecting her heart to beat so much.  
Rey wasn’t sure what it meant, but she had a bad feeling about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically just the ending of the last chapter- I just broke it up in two parts.
> 
> So now we get HONEYMOON SHENANIGANS!
> 
> Let me know what you guys think in the comments! They are super appreciated and the only reason I really keep writing! (other than loving these two hopeless potatoes!)


	9. Beach Bums

She would not go on a honeymoon with this sack of Bantha fodder. Despite being exceedingly clear about this Rey finds herself looking out the large glass window to the ocean below. Kylo stands, his shoulders squished against her bent over in the too small shuttle. Every little brush of their shoulders sets her heart on fire, and she tries her best to convince herself it is with rage. He’s large and warm and she can feel the bad mood radiating off him as clearly as she’s sure he can feel her malcontent.   
“Remember what the Supreme leader said-“He advises as they get closer to the ground, referring to the many threats she has received on the journey to this resort planet. She has not personally seen Snoke since their first meeting on the Finalizer, but General Hux has relayed his intentions for her as clear as day over the past day and a half. If she is to misbehave at all, the Resistance will be crushed. She will read her lines and smile at civilians and be the Empress he needs her too or everyone who rescued her from the desert will be destroyed.  
It’s the same stupid rhetoric she has heard since setting foot in the possession of the bastard and at this point she is honestly just tired of being threatened.   
“Shove it up your ass.” She gives him her own advice, trying to wedge herself against the metal of the shuttle and further from the black fabric wall next to her. She doesn’t have to look at him to know he is gritting his teeth together, to know how badly she frustrates him in the moment.  
“Don’t do anything stupid, Jedi.” He barks. The shuttle lands with a jolt, throwing her way from the wall and against him with a thud. Kylo holds out on arm to steady her. As soon as she is standing straight the door of the shuttle opens and Rey takes a quick jump down onto the ground.   
The sun hits Rey’s face at once, warming her like she hasn’t felt since Jakku. Her feet crunch familiarly on sand. There is a moment where she feels at home, but something’s too foreign to be the desert. The air smells like salt and seafood. The far off call of birds echoes through the atmosphere.   
There are several Twi’lek women in varying pastel shades waiting for them, hips swaying in the tropical breeze. The one nearest Rey bows deeply and Welcomes them onto her planet. She reaches her arms up straight, blue lekkus bouncing behind her, and places a stringed together circle of flowers over Rey’s head. They get caught on one of her buns, but the Twi’lek straightens it out and the flower necklaces fall across her chest.   
The one nearer Kylo Ren trembles as she reaches up, extending her tip toes to pull the flowers over the top of his black helm. The girl’s fingers fumble with the decoration before laying it over his regalia. The empty eyes of the mask stare down at the little alien. She shrinks under the gaze, running back to her sisters’ sides.   
A tall palm tree grows behind them, full with fruit, as the Twi’leks perform a small swaying dance for them. Three humanoids come up, two of them holding a large welcoming banner. The one is the middle is a stout, short man who looks as if he has pulled all his hair out recently.  
“Welcome!”He shouts, voice booming. “We have arranged everything for your stay Mr. and Mrs. So-“ As though he’s mid-train of thought it seems he realizes what he’s saying is forbidden. His ace turns red and he begins stumbling over his own words.  
“So- So- So! Honeymooners! Our Resort specializes in Romantic getaways. “One of the employees holding the sign swoops in to save his boss. The older man nods violently at this.  
“Yes! Yes! Our entire resort has been created for the perfect romantic atmosphere!” He tries his best to keep his tone uplifting- even he can feel the hate rolling off the young brunette in white robes. “We have a very extensive program of relaxation planned for you! Your day is scheduled for the twelve O’clock Couples massage, but one O’clock is available if that suits you as well.”  
“No.” Ren deadpans.  
“Twelve is good.”Rey answers back. R’iia knows she could use the alone time. The actual massage sounds pretty good as well.   
“And a Samba lesson at two.” Rey snorts. The fat, old man looks to Ren for his opinion.  
“We are not dancing.” He growls.  
“Two left feet?” She throws back at him, staring up at him with her best shit-eating grin.  
“Oh please, You’re the one who can’t-“ She glares at him so fiercely his sentence drops off.  
“Water sports at three.”  
“Absolutely not.” Kylo Sighs. Rey frowns up at him.  
“That one actually sounds like fun.”  
“You can’t even swim.”  
“I can too!” Indignation courses through her body. How dare he assume what she can and can’t do. Even if she can’t swim it is none of his kriffing business. The mask angles down at her and she doesn’t have to see his face to know he’s giving her a ludicrous look. Rey’s hands ball up in fists. How dare he try to tell her what to do. If she was going to be stuck on this planet with him she would at least have whatever fun she could, as little as it might be.  
She can feel his amusement with her floating over their bond. It bundles up in his little space in the back of her head like a ball of laughter threatening to escape. The fact that he gets joy out of this only makes her more upset. Her entire face turns red as she stares up at him. She does not have to say words to translate her complete and utter hatred for him in the moment.   
“I’ll be there.” She says to the Welcoming man through gritted teeth, who stares at the pair with wide worried eyes.   
This is the worst welcoming party we’ve ever had, He thinks, solemnly to himself, hoping they will not pull out lightsabers and destroy his landscaping.   
“Well, uhm-“ The little man shakes under their gazes. “-If you don’t mind someone will escort you to your room now.”  
A bell-hop bows his head to the side of them and very rigidly gestures for them to follow.  
The resort looms above them, several stories high and ultra modern silver. It is constructed of a strange balance of windows and balconies. High above Rey can see the glass bottom of a pool hanging in the air. It is a long quiet walk to the elevators and then an even longer quieter ride up.   
“The honeymoon suite-“The bell hop slides the key through a white wooden door and pops it open, setting the key itself into Kylo’s hand. Rey walks inside passed them. The room is wide and tan, two glass doors open at the end letting in the wet air.   
She turns around to think the bell hop but he is nowhere in sight. Kylo slams the door behind him, setting the key on one of the bright white dressers near the door. Rey takes a few steps further inside. There is a large light blue bed with two big black suitcases already set on top.   
\--  
It is just so nice to be alone. It’s a luxury she hasn’t gotten since they made planet fall on Chandrila.   
Rey lays face stuffed inside the pillowed part of a massage table, a young woman she does not know rubbing down her bare back with oil. She closes her eyes, rather looking at her eyelids than count the tiles underneath her again. She has tried so hard to relax over the last hour and it has only put more tension between her shoulders.  
“How are you enjoying your stay, Mrs.-?”The masseuse trails off, going deeper into the tension on her back. Rey almost groans with the touch. She’s never been pampered like this before and it feels a little wrong to let it happen.  
“Rey.” She pulls herself up so that her biceps rest under her cheek. She takes in the vague art of sea life on the cream walls. Its not that Rey doesn’t like the feel of the place but it is all vaguely too cheery and full of life for her tastes. It is just stark contrast to the black and steel she has gotten used to amongst the First Order.   
“How are you enjoying your stay, Mrs. Rey?”  
“Just Rey.” The masseuse falls silent when no other answer comes, and goes back into her pattern of work. Rey sighs; letting all the breath she can leave her lungs.  
Rey finally thinks he might be starting to relax when she can feel annoyance bubble in her mind. It takes her a moment to realize it isn’t in fact hers. Rey has never wanted to scream or curse so much in her life than in these last few days with Kylo Ren. Why can’t he just stay calm and out of her head for even an hour?  
It dawns on her that the better half of an hour has already passed, and she’ll have to return to her husband soon.  
Oh, R’iia, her husband- a little bit of panic picks up in her veins. No matter how many times she realizes that she can no longer describe Kylo Ren as ‘not her husband’ it still throws her into a spiral. What is she going to do? She very well can’t run him through with her saber and leave, but at the same time the Resistance sure is taking awhile for this rescue attempt. This was supposed to be a consequence free mission for a couple of days and it has turned into a weeklong fiasco with a blood bond. Her fingers meet her forehead with another sigh.  
The door swings open. That phrase “speak of the devil, and he shall appear” is true for Rey, but all she has to do is think of him. She gazes up at him, her entire face turning red. It occurs to her how much she really, really hates this man.  
“It’s been an hour and a half.” Kylo’s tone is even and deep. He looks anywhere in the room but her bare back. “Time to get back, Jedi.”   
“Get out.” Suddenly, Rey wishes she had something to throw at him.   
“You’ve been without supervision for too long. How am I supposed to know you are not running away?”  
“It’s called trust.” He laughs. He actually laughs at her.  
“Yes, of course, Trust you- how foolish of me.”  
\--  
“I want to go to the beach.” She bites under her breath, eyes taking in the blue water lapping away at the land. Her feet dangle underneath the railing of their room’s balcony. All Rey can think about is how he ridiculed her over the water sports. The air blows the loose hairs in curls around her face.  
“What?” He has to urge her to repeat herself because he does not hear her- but it just feels like awful teasing to Rey. Her hands ball into fists while the tips of her ears turn red. She is at her wits end with the man and just needs a little slack. Rey has never been challenged so much in her life. She feels like she is back on Ach-to constantly trying to prove her worth to Master Luke.  
“I want to go to the water.” She spits, a little too sharply. She doesn’t ask for a lot, anything really, so having to request permission isn’t something she is fond off. It makes her feel even more trapped than she is. Actually, she thinks, she probably feels exactly the right amount of trapped for her situation. “I don’t suppose Phasma’s-“  
Ren shakes his head behind her when Rey trails off naturally. The young Jedi twists around to look at him. He sits firmly in the little wicker chair next to their holo screen, with a few documents in hand. He does not look up from his text as he speaks.  
“It is just you and me here.” He sighs. “ A lot of First Order sympathizers and a handful of troopers.” He flips a page in whatever he is reading, but takes the moment to meet her eyes.  
“I’m not going to the beach.” He continues, frowning slightly. He sets the stack on one of their little glass beside tables. “It’s a complete waste of time and it’s crowded.”  
Rey turns her back to him again, gazing down at the white powdery sand again. She crosses her arms over her chest in the silliest display of defiance she has ever done. There are a few moments in her silence that he just stare at her back, expecting her to say something more, knowing nothing with the scavenger is that easy, but she continues to be quiet.  
Maybe she’s given up, He thinks, taking good care to keep it from crossing to her mind. He stands up and stretches, cracking his back and makes his way to the fresher.   
As soon as the door clicks behind him, Rey is on her feet, shuffling through the suitcases on the bedspread.  
\--  
Everything is so warm. Rey feels like a cat that has been left out on the window seal. She misses it- the sun. She misses the sand too. She lets the grains wiggle between her toes where the ocean meets land. It feels so much different when its wet, less like beads and more like mud. She props herself up on her arms and looks out over the calm, transparent water.   
She has barley seen fish, let alone the beautiful tri-colored ones that swim in little schools with every wave that washes up. She hasn’t ever seen the kind of trees that are barren all the way to the top, or the large fan leaves that spread out near the resort, providing shade to the chairs.   
And the flowers- there are so many breath taking flowers with silk soft petals in bright blues and oranges.   
“I told you I wasn’t coming to the beach.” The voice is right in her ear. Her body goes rigid and straight, her back straightening up against his chest. The exposed skin from her little white swimsuit touches up against the soft fabric of his shirt.  
“I told you I was.” Without missing a beat she spits back at him. She lets herself relax again and moves her toes through the water. She leans up off her arms and forwards, trying to get some distance between the two of them. “Besides, you’re here aren’t you?”  
He sits down next to her in the sand, his long body awkwardly trying to settle with a sand to water ratio that was close to hers. But he mostly props himself against the dock that stars next to Rey’s spot. She glances up at him and is surprised to see he isn’t in the long dark robes she was expecting. Kylo wears a pair of dark swim trunks and a black, long sleeved shirt. Under his hair he is clearly sweating. Rey lets out a small laugh and suddenly he’s watching her with narrow eyes.   
“You know, running off by yourself is one of those stupid things the Supreme Leader warned about.” He mutters under his breath, eyes flickering down her frame for a minute before glancing out at the water. The spot she has picked out is relatively further away from the resort, and out of the shade by a good amount, so there isn’t much of a crowd around them.   
“You full well know I have no intention of staying here.” Rey sighs, leaning back again now that he is no longer behind her. “Besides, what happened to trust?”  
“You full well know if you leave we crush the entire Resistance.” He mutters back, leaning back against his arms. “We know where their base is. We know what kind of weapons they have. We know we can take them out. Snoke is only leaving them alone so you’ll continue to be obedient.”  
“So basically I’m to lie down and play nice so you don’t kill me friends so that the galaxy’s on your side when you do kill my friends?”  
“I think that’s his plan.” Rey rolls her eyes almost into the back of her skull. She stands at once.   
“Where are you going?” Kylo is almost chuckling. “For a swim?”  
Oh that’s it. She stalks down the pier like a mad woman on a mission, only hesitating when she reaches the end.  
“I told you I can do it.” She bites, fuming by now. It is too sore of a subject to have to debate with the scourge of the universe.  
“Let’s just hope you don’t swim like you dance.” He sighs, taking a page from her book and leaning against his arms.  
Rey stands at the edge of the pier her eyes watching the sun at the bottom of the sand. It doesn’t look too deep. She thinks she could stand even if she can’t paddle through it.  
“If you say you can do it, do it.” Kylo’s voice comes from the end of the pier, where he sits in the sand. He stares up at the sky lazily, not paying too much notice to her.  
“I can!”She huffs. Her eyes take in the water again. She thinks she can. She definitely can. It is not even too deep. She takes a deep breath. It is just water, not even choppy angry oceans like Ach-to had been surrounded by. It is just sweet calm, clear water. She sucks in a deep breath and takes a hop off the pier.  
It is much deeper than it appeared to be, she sinks in several feet like a torpedo and there is still no sand at her toes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took forever. Someone at my house tried to "Fix" the wifi and we've been completely unable to restore it the last couple weeks. I drove two hours to my best friends house for some much needed love and Wifi so I could post this chapter for you guys. Hopefully i'll be able to post one more before I leave tomorrow! Like always tell me what you guys think! I LOVE reading your comment. They give me life and great ideas! and thank you so much for reading in the first place!
> 
> So I like to think of this as space Hawaii; I legit couldn't find any names of planets like this except for Scarif but I was pretty sure that place got blown to smithereens. I just thought I'd give you sweet couple bickering before we went too far in with the shit that is coming....


	10. Trouble in Paradise

“Afraid?” At the Pier Kylo stares into the sky, unaware of the lack of presence he talks to the girl.  
“I said are you afraid?” A few moments pass eerily quiet. He lifts an eye brow when no response comes. His face falls onto his shoulder, in the direction where she should be. The bond fills with panic before his eyes can even register she is not there.   
Kylo sits up, calmly looking down the dock. Surely she didn’t…?  
All at once he’s trying to suck in air.  
He’s drowning. It takes a moment for his brain to realize it, surrounded by the salty air. His skin bakes in the sun but he’s…he’s drowning. One of his hands lands on his throat. Why would he be-?  
He springs to his feet at once, in the same motion pulling his shirt over his head. He can feel her pounding against the water, like another appendage. He can feel his own lungs cry out for air.   
He is running down the pier at full speed before he knows it, barreling, too hard, down the old wooden planks. The kind of anxiety that pulls through him is something he’s never felt before. It starts in his stomach in a ball of knots and spreads out like a tidal wave all over his limbs. It pulls him down and tries to swallow him like the water has Rey.  
Kriffing Idiot. If she dies, he dies-  
He hadn’t really thought about the consequences of the blood spell until this moment. If she dies, He dies, He repeats in his head, nearing the edge of the pier.   
His eyes search the water. There’s a stream of bubbles below him and to the right. They are being caused by her spastic, desperate thrashing. He swims to it. She is in between all of the bubbles, of course, hard to even see. Kylo swims down, she’s sunk several feet already and he has to fight the black spots in his vision to reach out for her. When he does get a hold of her wrist he yanks her as hard as he can against his chest.  
Kriffing idiot.   
Rey’s arms wrap around his neck, holding on to him as though he is her only salvation…which he supposes he is. Her face presses up hard against his neck. Both his arms find their way to her back and crush her against him. He uses his right arm to paddle them upwards, towards the shore and his left settles underneath the curve of her backside, holding her in place. But as she struggles more and more with the water so does he.  
It seems like an eternity before they finally emerge. Kylo sucks in a deep breath but he still feels water logged. He slaps Rey one good time between the shoulder blades and she sputters water up over his shoulder.  
“What were you thinking?” He sucks in another breath and this time he feels like the oxygen is actually getting to him. She doesn’t answer. Instead she leans her head over the crook of his neck and coughs over and over again behind his back. She’s holding onto him so hard she’s nearly choking him. With one arm he holds her tight against him, skin brushing skin, but he does not even begin to think about it.   
He is so overwhelmingly livid at the stupidity this girl posses that he can’t concentrate on anything else.  
Was she really willing to drown to prove a point?  
He swims them back to the shore with his free arm. When he can stand he lets his both his arms scoop underneath her so that as he walks out of the water she is still cradled against him. When their firmly on the ground he lays her down into the powdery sand.  
Rey can’t stop coughing up water. It is so deep in her lungs she isn’t sure it will ever be all out. Kylo kneels down next to her, wondering for a moment if he should try to help her somehow. His hands fall in the sand so that he is hovering over her. Rey opens her eyes.   
“I didn’t need you to save me.”  
“I can’t stand you.” He drags the words out, steady and almost monotone. He pauses between each word as if to emphasize their meaning. It’s the only thing he can tell her. He can’t yell at her for trying to kill him, because he really has no desire to inform the Jedi she holds his life in his hands like that.  
He does not put it passed her to drown herself and become a Martyr to the Resistance- to give her own life up to take down the big bad Kylo Ren. His glare at her, only a few inches from her face, just becomes more intense with each one of these thoughts.  
He wants to call her an idiot- to grab her by both the shoulders and shake her around until she understands just how stupid she really is. She looks up at him, completely indignant.  
Surely, she is not mad at him, right? She is the one who almost drowned- who just almost killed the both of them.  
“Get off me.” She bites, shuffling in the sand under his gaze. A frown sets itself deep in her features.   
Kylo’s jaw almost falls open.  
“I just saved your kriffing life.” Well, technically he saved his own kriffing life, but he will not correct himself. He hates her. He hates how ridiculously self assured she is. He hates that indignant expression on her face and the way those determined and deep brown eyes stare at him with hate. He hates the soft curve of her frown and the-  
He needs to get up.   
“Enjoying your honeymoon?” The voice comes from the side. They both turn their faces to insufferably glare at whoever it belongs too. It’s a cabana boy with a devil’s smirk. The smile leaves the boys face at once with the sheer amount of death intent that comes his way.   
Kylo is going to kill him.  
As though he spoke out loud Rey beats her fists against his chest, knocking him off her.  
“It was a joke.” He glowers under his breath.  
“It wasn’t funny.” Rey sits up, the sand sticking to her wet body. Her hair clings to her neck and top of shoulders in spirals. Kylo’s eyes fall on the freckles that litter her shoulders and arms. They drift down her body, her stomach. He’s never seen this much of her legs.  
Kylo looks to the sand besides him, picking himself up to stand.   
Stupid Kriffing idiot.  
“Someone will come get you for our interview.” He says, exasperated. Kylo walks away back towards the resort, leaving her looking like a desert creature that has been drenched against her will.  
For the first time he truly regrets joining Snoke, and it is because it is one of the choices that has lead him to her overly-proud ass.  
\--  
Rey feels like a different person again. She is really getting tired of young women coming in and changing her to fit whatever the world thinks she should look like. Rey is in a knee length dress made out of thin white fabric that flows around with every move she makes. It raps around her neck and leaves her back bare. Her hair is in little waves, like she’s been lounging on the beach and the wind has created them with a big white flower by her left ear.  
But that’s not what bothers her most. The first, and most important, thing that bothers her most is the thin little white gold band they’ve placed around one of her fingers. It has a diamond that swallows her hand on it and every time she takes it in she wants to throw up.   
The second thing that bothers her most is the fact that she is standing on a small glass podium barley big enough for her, and that Kylo Ren is squished onto it next to her. There are little orbs in the sky she has recognized as cameras flashing.   
Reporters surround them in crowds, every one ranging from humans, to near humans, to the strangest species Rey has ever laid her eyes on.  
Don’t say anything, Kylo sends the thought over the bond, Just act like your happy to be here.  
Oh, that should be easy.  
“Emperor Ren,” One of the reporters speak up, a slim Ithorian in a very nice suit. “Now that you’ve taken over what’s your plan for the galaxy?”  
“To unify everyone under the first order for the good of the galaxy.” Kylo’s Words distort as they bleed through his voice synthesizer. His arms cross behind his back.  
“Do you plan to include unknown space?” He asks, as a follow up, taking a picture with the camera in his hand.  
“We plan to include any and all life forms we meet.” Rey can feel, over their connection, that Kylo feels as though he is above this. He does not want to answer this reporter’s stupid question. He is a warlord not a politician.   
Rey crosses her arms next to him.  
“And what does lounging around on a Resort planet have to do with that goal?” Another reporter pipes up.   
Oh, go eat Bantha shit, Rey thinks. Kylo Ren almost snorts. He definitely gives out a little chuckle.   
“I’m sorry was there something humorous about my question, Emperor Ren?” Kylo shakes his head.  
“No, of course not.” He straightens up. “We have been just married and we thought not only we’d take a day for ourselves but we’d entertain your questions here. I hope that is acceptable to you?”  
The man nods, paling under Kylo’s intense gaze. Rey gives a small smile for the camera.  
“Empress Rey, I have a question for you.” A young woman speaks up. Kylo throws his arm in front of Rey.  
“She won’t be taking any questions.” Kylo’s voice is even, authoritative. Rey has to adjust her feet on the podium to try and get more room.  
“I’ll answer you.” Rey bites over him.  
“Has the Influence of the First Order, specifically your marriage to Kylo Ren, effected your position as a Jedi Knight?” Rey raises her eyebrow. She honestly had not known she was even thought of as a Knight. She had definitely never passed the Padawan stage with Master Luke. Then she considers the question itself and she has the sudden urge to laugh.  
“They haven’t influenced me at all.” She speaks.   
The cameras flash again and several reporters write furiously. A man in the crowd speaks up. He is old and wrinkled with wisdom.  
“Do you plan to start sending relief to the outer rim? As I’m sure you are aware of the situations getting more dire out there and-“Kylo opens his mouth to interrupt the man but Rey is faster with her words.  
“Of course, we will.” She says with a pleasant smile. The looming figure next to her goes stiff. The cameras go crazy again and reporters start talking over each other. There is so much commotion that some of the storm troopers come to stand in front of them. Two more lead them off the podium and into a near side room.  
You weren’t supposed to say anything, She can hear kylo’s voice in her head along with his increasing frustrations.  
“Are you planning on not helping them?” She says, as soon as the doors closed. Kylo crosses his arms.  
“Its not my choice.” He answers, to which Rey huffs.  
She is so fed up with him, and this situation. She is so fed up with the First Order. Why can’t she just say they’re helping people and then help people? Why does every little thing have to be a fight like this?  
“I’m leaving.” Rey hisses. She does not know where she is going to go. She knows she can’t go too far, but she is not staying here.  
She will spend her whole life running away from him. It’s a fact that she has to accept right now.

\--  
It is nearly midnight before Rey squeaks the door open to their room. She walks down the small hallway to start face to face with a frozen, half naked Kylo Ren. He has stopped, wide eyed, with his shirt above his head.  
His thighs are bigger than her head. His pecks are the size of dinner plates. She can’t help but stop in her tracks and take him in. Her entire face turns red at once, and she curses herself for it. The arms outstretched above Kylo are covered in long meaty muscles, as are his shoulders and his chest, and-He is very fit, she knew it from the fights upon fights that they’ve shared, but she had never really thought about what that would mean for his body. His hair hangs loosely around him his face, which looks a mixture of embarrassed and confused.   
Kylo continues to pull his shirt off, throwing it towards the bed. His eyes flicker over her with uncertainty.   
“I-uhm- wasn’t sure you were coming back.” He says lightly, rubbing his palms onto the sides of his tight black undergarment- which Rey refuses to drop her eyes too. He turns around too pick through his suitcase on the floor. Rey takes in the sight before her and her mouth goes dry. She had heard that the dark side seduced people, but she hadn’t thought they meant it literally.   
“Well, I had too, remember, or you kill all my friends?” She tries to keep her attitude, but her voice falls flat. His shoulder’s look like they fall a little. Kylo stand up again with a soft black tunic in his hand, letting out a long, tired sigh.   
“I’m going to bed.” He announces, throwing the tunic on over his head. As soon as his chest is covered Rey feels like some of her cognitive function has returned.   
She opens her mouth to say something to him, but he crashes onto the bed before she can think of anything.  
Rey shuts her mouth and walks to her own suitcase, grabbing the first thing that looks comfortable and locking herself in the fresher.   
She washes the all the make up from her face with a scalding shower. It takes her a few minutes to get into the water when thoughts of her afternoon come back to her.   
\--  
Rey sits up on the wicker chair that had been by the holo. She picked it up and moved it to the balcony sometime in the night. So that she could watch the stars turn. Kylo turns over, eyeing the back of her head.   
“Come to bed.” He hisses, she glances behind her shoulder to peer at him through the doors. “You’re keeping me up.”  
“I haven’t said a word.”  
“Every time I get close to falling asleep it is like your screaming your thoughts at me. You’re scared, I get it, come to sleep.” He doesn’t mean to be harsh with her; he just thinks she’s being ridiculous. It is a bed. They are already bound to each other not only by marriage, but the force, not to mention whatever Snoke is about to put them through- what is the big deal in sleeping next to him-  
It isn’t like they’ll-  
She is in his arms in his mind’s eye, wrapped up as close to him as possible. Her lips touching his collarbone, and then his neck, and then his-  
Suddenly, Kylo can’t help but feel apprehensive even though he had just teased her about it. He makes a good effort to shield his mind, and turns over in the sheets, so that his large back is a wall between his side and hers. Rey slips out of the shower and slinks to the mattress lowering herself as close to the edge as possible.   
She takes some of the comforter in her fist and pulls the little bit she can get over her shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stayed up all night for you guys! Now I have to drive two hours back home. Hopefully our wifi gets fixed soon.  
> I tried to make them not so snappy, but the snappiness just kept coming. Enjoy this bickering in space Hawaii!
> 
> Thank you so much for all your comments and kudos! Like I've said a thousand times they mean the world to me and get me writing more than anything else!! I love you guys!


	11. Courascant

Courascant isn’t anything Rey would have expected. She’s never been to a city like this and there’s always so much going on her eyes refuse to concentrate on anything particular at once. Now they trail a zooming speeder weave its way in and out of the traffic above them. The one thing that really mesmerizes her however, is how the scrapers here are even bigger than the ones on Chandrila. She hadn’t imagined there would be anything in the universe like this city.  
She had heard about this city, sure, from dreaming desert rats and rich passer-bys in Niima, but even her imagination hadn’t spun up something so unbelievable as what she’s been driven through.  
Everything surrounding them is chrome and new. The sun reflects onto this part of town and shines back to itself even brighter. She has to squint hard, like looking into the sand midday and trying not to get blinded. All the buildings she’s seen since getting out of the taxi have been first class and elegant, but on the shuttle ride down she had seen nothing but smog and rust colored alleyways. The violent underbelly of this city interested her much more than the pristine hotel she was being led too, but of course, she was going to have to investigate that on her own time. If she ever got her own time.  
“Lady Rey?” She turns her whole body at the call of the silver trooper, who holds a glass door, open for her. She hasn’t seen Kylo since their shuttle landed late yesterday/earlier this morning, but Rey is very happy to replace him with Phasma once again. Part of her hopes he will be this busy for the rest of their marriage (which won’t be long, of course, because the Resistance is still definitely coming for her, right?), especially after their disaster of a beach vacation. Rey nods her head in thanks and leads Phasma through the door. The lobby of the hotel is full of reporters, of course trying to get the scoop on the new empress. They all shout questions at her so loud it becomes blurred into one massive non-understandable mess.  
Phasma, un-phased by the chaos, hooks her fingers around Rey’s slender wrist, and as Rey attempts to stop and take it all in, drags her away from the spot she has frozen in. Rey does her best to listen, to hear the concerns of the galaxy she is now in charge of. Because after all, and no matter what Snoke or Kylo Ren says, if she is going to be a ruler she is going to be a good one.  
But the word coronation catches her ear several times and she doesn’t really have enough time to stop and listen. Rey raises an eyebrow at Phasma, who leads her to a private elevator without a word. Flashes happen at four per second and all Rey can do is sit there stunned with an after thought of how stupid her face must look. There really shouldn’t be this much fuss over her, she thinks absentmindedly, if any of these people knew where she had been a year ago they wouldn’t be nearly as rambunctious.  
Once the door closes Phasma finally answers her.  
“Tonight you and Lord Ren are hosting a coronation dinner, to celebrate your new titles.” Phasma keeps her eyes forward on the reflective pane of the elevator, which mirrors itself over and over again in her armor. Rey almost gets lost in the endless streams of her and the solider in the pattern. “The Supreme Leader has organized it all to his tastes.”  
“I’m starting to think this guy is all about theatrics.” Rey sighs and she isn’t sure but a good part of her thinks Captain Phasma snorts. The elevator dings with every floor it passes, and now that Phasma isn’t speaking again Rey counts the floors. It’s the second to last little ball on the door that lights when the contraption finally stops and Rey is feeling sick from just imagining how high up they are.  
It is already four by the time they get to the room, Rey only knows this thanks to a holo-display on the wall opposite to the door. This room is not nearly as lavish as the ones they’ve been given in the past and for a moment she hopes it is just hers, until Phasma sets her suitcase nicely next to a larger darker one. After a quick peek around, in the bathroom and even closet, Rey is satisfied with the knowledge that she still does not have to deal with the Emperor. But unfortunately, there is a knock on the door and she does. However, have to deal with the same two young twi’leks that dressed her for her marriage ceremony. They twist her hair up much in the same manner and paint her face again. This time Rey is not trapped in her own mind and makes small talk with the young women. She learns the older one, with fine teal skin and long well manicured nails, is named Lyn, and her younger sister, who has to still be in her teens, is Tann. They grew up in slavery to the Hutts, sold by their parents to support their other siblings, and bought their own freedom into the first order with a card game. They are clever, the both of them, Tann’s wit is sharper but her quieter sister seems much more worldly. Listening to their stories makes Rey feel like she is sitting at a fire in Niima, by the time she is made presentable it is late and Phasma hurries her to the roof.  
The doors on the very top floor, which Rey soon realizes is the roof open to the night’s sky, slide open and Rey is caught off guard by the fantastical garden in front of her. Hanging plants and lanterns droop in-between the stars and ripe bushes with fully formed flowers hide the ledge from view. The floating orb cameras still hang in the air but with the smaller, not small mind you there are still more people than Rey can imagine knowing, crowd it seems like a more intimate event. Phasma motions her forward to a small platform in front of one of the many long glass tables piled with food, where Ren already waits, annoyance painted in his eyes at her tardiness.  
He’s wearing something different today.  
It is usual black, high collar pulled up to his jaw, long ribbed sleeves, layer over layer, but it is all much nicer fabric, cut less like warriors clothing and more like finery. And there are sections, near his jaw line and on his wrists where gold threads through the garment like delicate ornaments. It is similar to the detailing on her white satin dress across the clavicle and shoulders and scraping the floor in her train and Rey wonders if she looks quite like he does. His hair has been combed neatly and given a gentle curl. The scar she has left on him has been covered to the best of someone’s abilities. Even his nails have been neatly trimmed. The difference is subtle but it makes him stand a step higher. It makes him look almost regal, like a prince or a king or a-  
Emperor.  
It takes her breath away. This is real. She is the Empress of the Galaxy on par with the violent warlord Kylo Ren.  
But he doesn’t look like a warlord. There’s something soft on his face when his eyes meet hers. There is a very small frown etched onto his features. It is so miniscule the crowd does not notice, but once Rey sees it she can’t take her eyes off it.  
It takes her a moment of staring at the expression to realize he is standing in front of not only the crowd, but thanks to the cameras, the entire universe, completely mask-less and bare. He has been made out to be someone else in front of the galaxy, just like her, molded to fit what Snoke things people will be welcoming too. And just like her, he hates it. She can feel his nerves churning over in that little place reserved for him. Even just physically looking at him she can tell how jittery he is, but for some reason, she seems to be the only one who can see it. The crowd of people smile expectantly as he speaks, welcoming them all to the best of his short spoken abilities.  
There is a moment, when he turns and she takes her place next to him, that Rey feels a little less alone with him brushing against her mind. There is someone else here being just as mercilessly manipulated as her. Her mind falls on the scar she had seen while they were training. They are both puppets and Kylo is the one who gets her punishment.  
Rey would not wish this on her worst enemy, she registers as his words drown in the background of her thoughts not really obtaining any meaning. Her hand twitches, on its own accord to take his, and she has to dig her nails into her palm to rebuke herself for the thought.  
It takes Kylo clearing his throat for her to notice that he is done speaking and trying to lead her off the podium with an arm around hers. He doesn’t like to touch her, she can practically hear it in his thoughts, but apparently Snoke has been less than pleased with their charade. She can’t blame him. Rey doesn’t much like touching him either, his hands are always too warm and smooth against her skin, plus there is the matter of every time he touches her a shiver threatens to rip down her spine. It’s a shiver of disgust, she repeats to herself a few times to make it into fact.  
The dinner is rather boring, actually. Her and Ren do not speak to each other except for in grunts and scowls, both of them trying too hard to be on good behavior for their usual banter but still to weary of each other to make small talk. A few people ask Rey political questions that she answers as vaguely as possible, but most of the guests just fawn over their new life together. Kylo does his best to schmooze sympathizers of the order, but he is not very good at it and most of it just stops in awkwardly ending conversations. It isn’t until they are sitting down to eat and a guest stands up to make a toast that things get derailed.  
“To the new imperial couple-” A large near-human in the crowd speaks, clinking his glass with a knife and standing tall. “and a universe of happiness. I, for one, hope they bring the balance and salvation the galaxy has been praying for! May your love endure beyond the last sunset, and may you seal it with a kiss.” Oh, not this again. He looks so damn proud of himself Rey wants to hit him straight in the smug smile. The rest of the crowd around them cheer and clink glasses.  
Kylo turns his head down to her. No. There is no way she is kissing him again. She makes that as clear as she can to him across the bond. Even her face sinks into a scowl, but kylo gives her a little teasing frown.  
‘You’re scared of me then, scavenger?’ She can hear him in her thoughts. ‘You should be more afraid of what the Supreme Leader is going to do if we don’t play at his rules.’  
Wait he doesn’t actually expect her to- This all is just sick and wrong and she’s tired of it. There are bags under her eyes from the stress of having to play nice with this man and its only been a few hours.  
“Kiss- “The crowd starts the damn word, and they sound like a bunch of snakes surrounding her hissing. “Kiss!”  
His eyes flicker down to hers, his thumb strokes her cheek bone. He’s going to go for it. She accepts it a little too late, when he’s already leaning in front of her face. Of course he’s going for it, what choice does he have really, the rational part of her brain explains, they are a newlywed couple, they should have no problem kissing, of course he’d go for it in front of all these people. She raises her hand and presses it on his chest to push him away but instead, on their own power her fingers rest softly in the fabric of his tunic.  
He places a small, chaste kiss to her lips, nothing too grand or romantic, but it makes her head spin nonetheless. They are apart as quickly as they came together. Ren sits back in his plush chair at the table and after a beat Rey joins him. She doesn’t know why but anger builds up slowly in her veins. Its that sticky dark feeling she’s come to know, building up in her toes and climbing through her legs till its stuck in her heart. The whole situation just rubs her wrong, the way her toes curl up when she gets the slightest affection from him has her wanting to puke. The darkside consumes her thinking about the blood spell, but she convinces herself it’s the reason she has this feeling. It is not her, and it is certainly not him but the damn spell. Rey is biting down so hard on her tongue Ren nudges her. Remembering that they feel the same she only bites harder, only angers herself more.  
Sooner or later, but actually later, when there are only a few guests left Rey decides she can no longer fake happiness at the murderer’s side and in the middle of a rather uninteresting conversation between the two of them, an elderly blonde man, and General Hux Rey excuses herself with no reason and storms towards the elevator.  
Unfortunately, just before the doors slide shut the large, hulking man that is Kylo Ren somehow slips between them.  
“What is your problem, scavenger?” He hisses, physically hitting the button for the next floor down. He crosses his arms across his chest and stares at her before she answers.  
“My problem? Oh I don’t know lets start with the entire last month. Despite what you think, Ren, I loathe it here, and do not plan on ever changing my attitude towards it.” Rey stares into the mirrored elevator. The madness building up further in her chest.  
“And as much as I share that sentiment at least I can pretend to be cordial.” Kylo spins to put the full force of his glare on her. “ You are going to get us killed Jedi.”  
“I’d rather be dead than kissing you ever again.” He finches back minutely. The elevator dings and she storms out as soon as she can squeeze through the doors.  
“So I’m just supposed to let everyone know we hate each other and get your friends killed for you.” He fires back, following her step for step. Rey can’t remember which room was theirs and she comes to a three way split in the hallway. Instead of deciding on a path she stops and engages him further.  
“You don’t care about them.” Its true. Why would he? This is all about him getting what he wants. She doesn’t even really fully understand why she is so mad, but it echoes off of her into him and then fires back into her becoming a vicious cycle that elevates with every comment.  
“Yes but you do.” She sighs, frustrated and hot.  
“Ren, I don’t like you.” It leaves her mouth as a hiss. “I hate you actually. You are the sole bane of my existence and if you ever touch me again I’ll-“ She stutters and her train of thought dissipates.  
“You’ll what?” There is that damn little smile again. Heat climbs up her legs and mixes with her bad mood. Out of defiance, and his love to piss the scavenger off he takes three steps closer to her, closing half the distance between them. She bristles at once with the movement, rearing back. Her hand lands on the hilt of her saber at her hip.  
She doesn’t know what she’ll do, that’s why it scares her. Every time he touches her, her body acts as though its on autopilot, and she doesn’t know what will happen if he does it again.  
“You’ve been a nuisance since you’ve arrived here, scavenger. I grow more tired of this every day.” He speaks again when he halts, standing upright above her so that she has to crane her neck.  
“Then just let me go.” It comes out more of a plea than heated threat she meant it as. If he would let her go now though, she’d be forever in his debt, and Rey isn’t quite sure if she can handle that either.  
“You know I can’t do that. “ He says gently, his eyes loosing the tantrum that had been building up. His fists clench up at his side.  
“I cant do this.” Rey stumbles, small tears building in her eyes. She does not want to be this vulnerable in front of him, but its not like he doesn’t know her every emotion anyway. “I can’t-”  
“If we both just accept it our lives will be much easier, Jedi.”  
“Have you just accepted it then?” She doesn’t know why she’s yelling at him. Part of her just thinks she’s made he’s already so ready to give up. He was supposed to be full of as much fight as her. He takes two more steps closer, leaving only one footstep before he would be against her.  
“We cannot fight it now.” He speaks softly. “Even if we get away from each other…. we have this.” He reaches his hand up onto her cheek, just like he had earlier and the force literally hums around them. “We could go to the opposite ends of the galaxy and feel each other.”  
“The spells not that strong.” She argues back, shaking her head at him. He closes the distance between them, leaning down to look her in the eyes inches away. No its not the spell, they almost whisper the words into each other, of course it is not the spell, but the force itself.  
“Can’t you feel it?” He asks, and he knows she does. Of course she feels it. It consumes her like it consumes him, like a fire that won’t be quenched. But, of course, she has to lie.  
“No.”  
And so he kisses her again, not on the lips, but a gentle press of his lips into her intricately braided hair. Rey closes her eyes for a second and the tears that had threatened to spill do.  
“You don’t feel that?” He knows she does. He can feel her heart like it’s a part of his body. He can feel her mind and heart at war with the other, just like his. But, eyes avoiding him, she barley shakes her head from side to side.  
So he locks her head in between his hands, forcing her to look her in the eye.  
“Don’t be afraid.” He speaks quietly, his breath brushing against her lips. “I feel it too.” He connects his lips to hers, in a frenzy that can’t be denied. And Rey hates herself for it but she kisses him back just like their wedding, Palms grasping for more, Lips lapping against each other. One of his hands releases her cheek, gliding down her body to her thigh and lifts her up between himself and the hallway wall. One of her hands fists up in his tunic, just like earlier and the other swings around the back of his neck to keep herself stable. He slips his tongue into her mouth mingling it with hers. Their muscles shift together as they tighten their embrace and only excited the other more. His lips leave hers and travel down her jaw and neck, sucking on a soft spot that has her gasping for air. The hand across his back digs her nails into his shoulders, dragging it across to the other one.  
It isn’t until footsteps catch her ears that Rey is really aware of what she’s doing and Almost as soon as the thought hits her she throws both her hands against his chest, pushing him off her. He lets go, out of shock and both her feet hit the ground. There is a shadow coming around the hall and Rey is not sticking around long enough to find out who it is, nor is she going to sit around and have any more chats with Kylo Ren. She takes off, as fast as she can at once, in the direction she thinks her room is. Of course, it is just her luck to get lost in the maze of the nicely decorated hallways and it takes her much longer to find room 2304 than he thinks it should have.  
He’s beaten her here, as she expected. He sits on the bed, elbows on knees hands crossed resting under his chin, watching her intently as she walks through the door. But Rey does not even stop to look at him she flees into the bathroom and locks herself in there until she is well sure that Kylo is asleep. She may be the Empress of the Universe and not scared of anything, but she is not even going to entertain the idea of the conversation they would have. She only allows herself to inch into bed next to him after she’s done her best to calm herself, almost falling off because she wants to keep so much distance between them, and curls into a ball.  
Don’t think about it. She commands herself. But just the word it gets her heart beating hard.  
Don’t think about what a good kisser he is. Don’t even think about kissing him.  
Kissing, oh Rii’a.  
No don’t think about it. But trying not to is only getting her excited, making her feet tap nervously and palms sweat.  
Holy Bantha shit she just made out in a hallway with Kylo Ren like a couple of teenagers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter guys! Things have been crazy in real life and I've been too stressed to write or edit or anything really but I'm finally settling down and getting back into the flow of things. I so hope ya'll enjoy and I added a little goodie in there for the long wait. Thank you guys so much for reading and as always Your comments and Kudos are the things that keep me going. I can't believe how much love this work has gotten and I love each and every one of you guys for it!


	12. Harvey

I'm so sorry to send you a notification and get your hopes up when there's no actual chapter. I promise I'm going to work hard on it and bring it to you guys as soon as possible but I've been living a literal nightmare the past few days. 

I'm in the affected area of Harvey and I've lost a lot due to flooding, not as much as most and I'm so very thankful for that but it is still going to take a while to get back to normal. The schools I've went to since I was little are ruined friends and family's and neighbors have been lifelighted out of their homes and everything they've worked hard for ruined completely. We evacuated after it got bad, had to wade through chest high rushing waters to safety with my cat and two bearded dragons. 

My spider even died guys. It's been really hard. 

Anyway I just wanted to let you guys know it might take a few weeks to get my writing feet back on there's so much I have to do but I will work hard for you guys and do my best. Thank you all for your support and understanding and I love you guys so much.


	13. Nightmares

There is something dark in her mind. Rey’s alert flares up at once at the unfamiliarity of it. Its not the usual dark entity like a calloused hand with thumb and fingers behind her hair, gripping her neck more reassuringly than threatening. Instead it is curling around her throat, thick and suffocating. This presence feels worse than the darkside, stickier somehow.  
It whispers something hollow that floats around her.  
“Rey-“ It makes her shudder, and she turns in all directions in the grey fog to find the source of it. But as much as she spins and searches she sees nothing, like the voice doesn’t have a face to match with. Oh, this is bad, she thinks, curling her hands up into fists. The pit of her stomach tightens in nervous knots.  
“Rey-“ It whispers again. It is not Kylo’s voice, she knows this at once, nor it is Master Lukes, and those are the two people she has ever heard in her head before. “-There is still light in you.” The voice sounds disgusted, like she dare stand up to it. She can almost feel a hand on her shoulder so she violently turns to face it, pulling her saber out in one fluid motion. No matter how many times she thumbs the activator though, the blade hisses and whizzes but does not flare to life.  
“There is still light in you-“ It repeats, and out of the fog comes fingers, long and boney, the hand itself bigger than her entire body. They reach for her and Rey starts backing away, step by step at first and then she is running backwards, but the hand does not let up and her saber still won’t rush to her rescue.  
“Crush it.” The voice says, thumb catching her around the waist, curling into the cold wrinkled palm. “Crush it.” Her feet come off the ground while the creature chants. “Crush it, crush it, crush it.” With each repeat of the words it gets louder, the grip around her gets tighter. She kicks with all her might, wriggling around hitting and slashing and biting the fingers but it does not release her. She is brought further into the air, screaming at the voice, the hand.  
She is brought to a giant eye, whizzing around in pale skin, looking sickly and furious with her. Rey drops her fists, her feet hang limp. The grip is so tight now she is gasping. She can do nothing but stare into the air, almost paralyzed with fear. In this moment she forgets what is real and what is fake. The creature growls.  
Suddenly Rey’s head is on fire. She cries out with pain, eyes shutting tight and hands coming to her temples. The searing white hot paints the inside of her eyelashes. She grits her teeth together so hard she’s pretty sure she cracks one in the back.  
“Break her.”  
And then the hand lets go and she’s falling through the air, smog racing past her as she reaches out trying to grab something, anything to keep her from falling to her death. But she can barley even concentrate on saving herself with the pain in her mind, and the ground is quickly approaching.

Rey swings straight up, gasping for air as soon as the pains gone. It takes her eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness but with her gasp something next to her shifts quickly too.  
Kylo is standing in an instant, thumbing his lightsaber to life. She’s still gasping when she turns her wide eyes to him, but he looks absolutely spooked. When his eyes meet hers his shoulder relax.  
And then he sighs with almost relief.  
“Bad dream?” He asks. Rey only nods. He deactivates his saber and sets it on the night stand, shuffling back underneath the covers and rolling over. He understands perfectly, he’s been through it plenty of times.  
“I think it was Snoke.”Rey admits quietly, words scraping her dry throat. It had to be, she remembers the way he requested Kylo to break her and it was just the same. His broad back stiffens next to her.  
“What did he say?”  
“A lot of bantha shit.” Rey sets her feet on the soft carpet, pulling herself out of bed as quietly as she can. She’s covered in sweat, she only realizes it as she walks underneath the rooms cooling fan. She thinks about the situation for a moment, discussing nightmares with Kylo Ren. She isn’t sure when this happened, this quiet sort of trust the two of them have.  
Trust is the wrong word, Rey frowns, She does not trust Ren with keeping a droid alive let alone herself. But she’s honest with him, and it sits wrong in her stomach. Even when she is at his throat she has been honest with him. Rey slides the balcony door to the side, stepping out in what she was hoping would be cold air. Its not, of course, the environment is warm and sticky, smog can be seen far off and it unsettles her.  
“If you just stopped being so stubborn he’d leave you alone.” She blushes, hard, and is thankful for the cover of the dark. His words remind her of the hallway only a few hours ago- of him begging her to just give in and her doing exactly that. Besides, She knows he’s lying. She’s heard him in Kylo’s mind, as compliant as he is, still pulling, commanding.  
“He’s never going to leave me alone.” She sighs, sliding her hands down the railing. “Not while I’m here.”  
“Not anywhere.” Kylo admits.  
There is a moment of silence and then she catches a glimpse of his unguarded half-asleep mind.  
A boy, all alone with wild dark hair. He’s crying in a bunk at the Resistance base. It is not the same base that Rey knows, but it’s the same bunks, the same reused mattress pads. His little fists curl up to his eyes. The same denial of loneliness she knows like the back of her hand.  
‘They won’t ever understand.’ The voice comes, too sour in the boys innocent mind. Its not the first time he’s heard it, either, the voice has been there since he can remember, always begging for things that get him yelled at. ‘They’re too wrapped up in themselves’ the voice mimics the boys on thoughts at first, before twisting up like poisonous vines. ‘They wouldn’t know what to do with your power. It scares them.’ Ben agrees, sobbing harder.  
‘Come to me, boy.’  
And then he’s bigger. He’s her age, and he’s grimacing swinging around a green lightsaber recklessly. He throws a training dummy against the wall with his free hand, shattering it completely. He’s satisfied with himself, taking out two dummies at once with both saber and force.  
With Luke’s voice Rey freezes; she had almost forgotten they shared a master.  
“That was too close, Ben.” The master chides, shaking his head back and forth. “You have to control your power. Uncontrolled power leads to the-“  
‘Darkside’ Luke is still speaking but it’s drowned out by the voice. ‘Look at the way they treat you, like you’re bad, too dangerous. Aren’t you tired of being the wolf in the sheep boy?’ Ben argues back with him now.  
‘They are not sheep.’  
‘You will be if you stay on this path.’ It hisses, the stinky dark feeling pooling around in Ben’s gut. ‘-this path where everyone is too good for you. The poor lonely heirloom. He calls you chosen one but you can’t live up to that, not here. I will make you the chosen one boy.’  
Ben grits his teeth together, snarling in the middle of Luke’s lecture. He throws a hand out in frustration, crashing another dummy to splinters. He tries so hard to control his temper, his mother begs him too, but every time the voice speaks things end up broken.  
“Ben!” Luke cries, startled, but the young Jedi is already marching off.  
He’s sitting in the cockpit of the falcon, all lanky limbs and excitement, dressed in simple tan Jedi robes much like Master Luke wears. He hasn’t been away from the academy in a while, Rey doesn’t know why she knows but she does, and he’s been itching for a flight. He misses the open air. He reaches up and flicks the same switches she has, in preparation for flight. Chewie growls something next to him and Ben laughs smiling from ear to ear.  
Rey can only stare at that big wide, real smile. Even back then it was rare but it looks so natural and perfect on his features. He’s so handsome, she doesn’t want to admit it, but happy he’s one of the most beautiful people she’s ever seen, maybe even the most. Its just so much easier to notice his eyes when the sun shines into them and makes them tawny. Its so much easier to notices his lips when they curl around white teeth. Han walks up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder and he feels a twinge of belonging. He feels a little love.  
‘Why would they love you’ Because they’re his family, Rey thinks it at the same time as Ben. But the voice scoffs in disgust/  
‘They don’t even look at you’ He sighs. ‘they use you when they need you and discard you when they’re busy. Where have they been the last few years? Going on their own adventures without you.’ And then its just darkness and the voice calling out, so many times Rey can only make out a few key phrases.  
‘more powerful than imaginable’  
‘come to me boy.’  
‘punish them’  
‘unloved.’  
‘hurt him.’  
Its Ben on top of another boy, his fists crashing against the man’s face. All the rage comes unraveled at once, Ben’s pretty sure he’s broken one of his hands already. Rey’s shocked to see a bloodied Poe Dameron underneath him as Luke and Han pull the young man off him. Ben is furious, lips pulled up in a display of rage and teeth. Its slowly getting to him, after all the years he thinks the voice is getting to him.  
‘Good.’ The voice fires back, as Ben frowns at the blood on his knuckles.  
And then he’s got the emerald blade in his hand again, but he’s piercing someone through the chest with it. She can hear the voices satisfaction, feel it in her bones. The screaming doesn’t stop, one after the other until the temple lights on fire. But by the time he leaves it is too late and everyone is gone.  
His friends, his masters, everyone he had know the people he studied Jedi ways with. Rey feels Kylo’s spark of recognition. He’s figured out she is in his head. But just before the memories snap out of her grip she can hear the voice on last time.  
‘Good, now come to me, Heir of Vader.’  
Rey gets sucked out of the vision with a force of fury. So suddenly she’s disoriented she’s placed back in her feet on the balcony, looking back at Kylo in astonishment.  
He looks up at her from the bed with wide angry eyes, propping himself up on fists to properly scold her.  
“That wasn’t yours.” He bites, sending a shiver down her spine.  
“I didn’t go looking for it. It just-“ He snarls, not even letting her speak. She didn’t need to see any of it, she knows, but Ben’s wide smile is burned into her eyelids. He’s so tired of all this, she can feel it saping off him. He’s tired of being on this kind of even ground with her. He’s tired of knowing everything about eachother. He’s tired of the scavenger in his head. He meets her eyes with stern authority.  
“My mind isn’t yours.”  
“I know.”  
It is quiet for a few minutes, and all they do is stare at each other, but then Rey thinks of what she’s just seen, of little Ben hurting like that.  
“I didn’t know you resisted it for so long.” Rey honestly thinks she would have broken a lot sooner. Its only been a month or two and she’s already cracking at the pressure of the first order, let alone twenty odd years with Supreme Leader’s voice in her head.  
“I was foolish.” He bites. His hands are shaking but its so dark Rey can’t tell. “ I didn’t know the power that waited for me.” But she could feel it, in the back of his mind, the regret, the pain, the absolute horror at what he had done Rey doesn’t call him out on it though, instead she just nods, knowing no good would come from another argument.  
“You’re not alone.” Her whisper is quiet and unsure of itself, but she remembers the way he felt, curled up in the resistance bunk, the soul crushing loneliness. She had felt that too, not just in his mind but back in the belly of an AT-AT trying to make herself as small as possible, surrounded by only junk and heat and so much sand. She had felt that way in a cell on a shuttle, surrounded by troopers, in a bedroom overlooking stars and in chambers of the supreme leader. She has felt that way everywhere but at his side and she honestly can’t figure out why he brings her so much comfort.  
Rey hates him, but he’s the one person on her equal ground.  
They were both lonely, desperate children who grew up without love and touch, and now they’re both desperate, lonely adults trying to figure out their path in the galaxy, accidently using the same stars as stepping stones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for being so patient with me! I'm so blessed to have such wonderful readers. All your comments and support have kept me going the last few weeks and I really appreciate them!


	14. Visions

Kylo feels the tug of consciousness, but he tries his best to ignore it. His face is against something soft and warm and it wants to lull him back to sleep. He doesn’t think about what it is that he’s wrapped himself around. He knows exactly what it is, actually, but he’s not awake enough to really care.  
He just wants to stay like this for a little longer, stay curled around her. He’s disgusted with himself for it, but the disgust is pushed to the back of his mind and the part of him that wishes for things like this takes over. It has been so long since he’s felt the comforting touch of a person, let alone this kind of affection. And he knows it isn’t meant to last. She will wake up and see where she is and probably quite literally kill him. But the touch is nice for now, and the way she smells is wonderful. It reminds him of the fine Chandrilan perfume his mother used to wear.   
It lulls him into dreams of the dark sheets of his home. In the morning the sun sinks through the costal windows and warms everything perfectly. There is a kind of golden light that files in through the curtains and it is never too bright but always ethereal. And he dreams of tender hands and sweet kisses, still too sleepy to be anything but sloppy.   
The little bit of consciousness he is in possession of has enough sense to know for some reason he shouldn’t pursue the thought, but the sleepy, comfortable Ren tells the other one to switch off. She’s smiling down at him from her perch on his chest, not a way she has ever looked at him before, but he’s seen the expression directed towards his mother and the traitor. He’s actually never seen the scavenger look a fraction as happy. Her eyes are bright in the light and he runs his hand across her cheek. A slight blush ripples into her cheeks at the touch. She lays her head on his chest, cool face startling his warm skin.   
“It could be like this-“She says, barely audible. The tremble of her breath against his skin almost makes him shiver. “You could leave them and it could just be the two of us.”   
“No it couldn’t.” Ren lets his lips curl up with a bitter laugh. Even in his dreams there’s no way she’d just give in. And of course she wouldn’t, if he’s being honest its part of the appeal of her. The scrappy little goodie two shoes wouldn’t be near the same person if she just accepted her position here. No matter how many times he tells her to do just that he couldn’t really picture that.  
“But would you want it too?” She turns her head to his bare skin and before he can really process it there are wet spots trailing up to his neck. Her smile turns devilish when she reaches his own lips and its all kylo can do to resist, but she pulls him over, spinning so that her back is in the warm spot he’s created and he’s looming over her. Yes, he thinks, maker yes this is all he wants. She locks her wrists against the back of his neck and pulls him down. Her soft lips making his heart twist in turn in ways he has never felt before.  
Except for last night, in the hallway. He had definitely felt like this then. One of her hands pulls down his back, slender fingers tracing his spine. He shouldn’t feel like this. He shouldn’t even be thinking this way, let alone letting himself pursue these foolish reveries.   
And like all good things, the voice comes to ruin it.  
‘She won’t ever love you.’ Its not a new rhetoric for the Supreme Leader, in the back of his mind Kylo praises him for originality, but it doesn’t make it any less true. ‘She is counting down the days until she can behead you.’  
The Scavenger in his dreams flips him over, straddling him, and at once she looses her soft edges and sweet smile and become a fierce warrior, bringing a saber down on him. His own meets hers in a panic. Kylo is unsure of when he grabbed it but nonetheless is thankful to have it in his hand. They’re no longer in the soft comfort of the bed on his birth world. He’s buried, back first, in mud and rain pours down on them.   
“Fighting isn’t going to fix anything.” She shouts, over the blare of wind and rain. Her hair is soaked and pooled around her shoulders, buns completely gone. The dark dress clings to her small frame with the the same kind of might she uses to fight him. She pulls her saber from the lock and brings it back down. It sinks in the mud, hissing, just next to his ear. “Just let me go.”  
Kylo kicks her off him, pulling himself out of the dirt. He has to use more force than he would have thought, the mud had tried to swallow him whole. By the time he’s up on his feet she’s already snarling again, looking completely unhinged.  
“Rey-“ His voice comes out pleading. The scavenger’s name should feel foreign on his tongue, he’s never said it before, but it comes out as easy as breathing. “-Rey, don’t do this.”  
“You left me no choice.”She’s hurling for him again, teeth clacking together as she launches herself off the ground. Kylo shoves his free hand out and she’s on the ground before she reaches him. She looks up at him from the mud and there is a mixture of hatred and hurt on her face that make his heart squeeze.   
“I said stop this nonsense.” He bites, his anger growing more like a storm with each second. She uses her own forces on him and with a gesture hes frozen compeletly. Kylo does his best to fight it but the dark power that rolls off her is too much for him.   
Rey picks herself up from the mud slowly, taking extra care when she bends down for her lightsaber. There’s already a large spot of blood pooling around her hairline. Every step she takes to him is slow, but deliberate, and the closer she gets the more darkside energy he can feel flowing off her.   
“I trusted you.” She says, through gritted teeth, spinning her saber around the side of her shoulder. Kylo’s muscles tense as he struggles with her grip on him. If he could just get free he could win this. He thinks she’s really about to kill him. She certainly looks like it. She’s not in the white or tans he’s gotten used to seeing her in, but she’s in a short dark fabric and dark makeup has pooled around her eyes, making them look even more enraged. Her lips are curled around her teeth and she looks like she’s about to dig straight into his throat.   
But he can’t let that happen. He can’t be defeated by the scavenger again. There is something in him that says its of upmost importance he wins this fight. He’s so close; he can feel her hold starting to shake against him. His arms twitch forward, just a little more push and-  
He breaks free of her hold at once. His body rushing forward with rage, but before he can stop himself he shoves his saber through her chest.   
And suddenly Rey’s in a grey room with his mother, sweat piling up on her face and eyes too sunken and exhausted. Her eyes look hazy, as though she’s no longer conscious and her voice is hoarse and croaked as it comes out.   
“Take care of him.”And he wonders if she is asking his own mother to put him down.  
Kylo sits straight up in bed as soon as the dream turns black. The scavenger is already standing, and his sudden movement makes her jump. His fingers reach out and before he can stop himself the thin fabric of her nightgown is held between them. Rey turns to look at him with stunned eyes. He opens his mouth, not sure what he’s going to say, but he has to say something.  
He killed her. His heart is slamming against his ribcage. He knows the difference between a dream and a vision and oh maker, he killed her. She’s staring at him with her mouth open, and there is a little fear in her eyes. He thinks for a minute she saw it too- she saw him run her through with a saber, but then her eyes fall to his hand and her entire face turns red and he knows she is ignorant of it.   
Say something- he has to beg himself, Just kriffing say something to her-  
The door slides open and a trooper begins to step in, looks at the two of them, and corrects his posture, clearing his throat. Their eyes snap from each other to the trooper at once, who stumbles back a little with the intensity suddenly on him.  
“I-uhm- Your Lordship I’m sorry.” Kylo releases her at once, realizing how this must look. Then again, it is the trooper’ fault for barging in on their private quarters- they are supposed to be married after all.   
“What do you want?” He barks. The trooper physically winces at his tone.  
“General Hux requires your prescence.” He stumbles back, and Kylo sighs. He rises out of bed and at once finds his tunic to throw over his head.  
“I’ll be right there.” He snaps, and waits for the trooper to close the door behind him to finish dressing.   
A few moments of silence pass, and Rey won’t even look in his direction as he gets ready. But like always, it gets too quiet for her and the scavenger just has to open her mouth.   
“So what is on my agenda today, your lordship?” She bites out the name the solider had used sarcastically at him. It almost makes him smile, but the tone she uses is too close to the one she had in his dreams, and it brings his mind back to her shocked eyes.  
“We’re marching through one of the main streets.” He says, pulling his gloces onto his hands. He walks to one of the small hotel chairs to pull his boots on.  
“Like a parade?” She gives the smallest chuckle possible. He can almost hear her thoughts. How ridiculous the largest terrorist organization in the galaxy is throwing her a parade.   
“Yeah. I know.” When he stands back up he stalks right to her side, for a moment he just relishes in the way he towers over her, before reaching an arm passed her and grabbing his helmet off the side table behind her. “I’ll be back for you.”  
\--  
Rey is in another foul mood- if she ever stopped being in one. Kylo watches the top of her head bob up and down with every step. Her hair looks ridiculous like that, he notes, braided in a crown around her head. It makes his heart squeeze but he can’t put his finger on why. But like always she is in a silky white gown that clings to all the right parts of her. She’s been grimacing since they left the hotel but every once in a while, when she thinks of Snoke her face twists up into the fakest smile Kylo has ever seen.   
He doesn’t know what to do with the scavenger anymore. For so long it had been find her kill her, and then it had been marry her, kill her, and now it was-  
Maker he didn’t know what it was, but it still ended with kill her. There is still a part of him, most of him he assures himself, that wants nothing more than the scavenger to have drowned on the beach. Except every time he thinks about her almost drowning he thinks about her drenched underneath him with tan skin and soft lips and how badly he had just wanted to- Stupid kriffing desert rat. He’s had a constant headache since he woke this morning, right between his eyes getting worse every minute he’s forced to be next to her.  
He’s just glad to have his helm back. It makes it easier to stand surrounded by this many people. Storm troopers litter them on either side, and back and front; their escort extends for at least a mile in front and behind them.   
This is the saddest parade he’s ever been too. The people in the sides of the streets all crowd around to watch, but none of them look anything less than mortified. He glances up to the sky scrapers where spectators litter balconies. His eyes zone in on a brunette mother, exhausted, clutching her dark haired boy to her chest as he cries.   
And for a moment, just a moment, he thinks of her. Kylo at once curses himself for it. He’s just weakened because of the dead boys memories. And then he thinks of Rey, if maybe one day she’ll be that for him. That is if he doesn’t murder her first.  
Her body stiffens and oh, maker please tell him she hadn’t heard that. But she stops all together, her eyes focusing on something in the crowd.  
“REY!” The shout makes Kylo curse even louder. Whatever this is about to be, it is not going to be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some Kylo POV for you guys. Sorry this wasn't the best chapter but I've tried to write it and write it and i just couldn't get satisfied about it so I decided to just publish it. Also yes I did just Anakin this bitch- fight me. Thank you so much for all your feedback, it is the only thing that really keeps me going. Comments and Kudos are seriously just about the only thing that got me off my but today on my first day off in two weeks and forced myself to write for you guys. Hope you liked and I can guarantee the shit is about to hit the fan! Thanks for reading!


	15. Hurt

“REY!”   
The Empress of the Galaxy’s head peaks up at the call of her name. The voice is so familiar- like someone from another life. It instantly soars her heart into high hopes.  
She whips to her other side, looking past Kylo to where the call came from. He turns as well, but it takes his body a few extra seconds to get all the way around.   
“REY!” With the other call her heart stops, recognizing the voice moments before she finds its face. Her gaze settles on the bright eyes of a Resistance Pilot. He is almost smiling, waving his arms over his head so she can spot him in the crowd. As soon as they make eye contact, however he starts pushing past members of the crowd, until the only thing between them is the small metal fence of the parade line and a handful of troopers.   
“Poe?!”Rey can’t believe her eyes. Her heart goes from its full stop to beating faster than she thought possible. She rushes past Kylo, breaking through the line of troopers and wrapping her arms around the handsome brunette. He matches her embrace in stride, his arms even tighter around her.  
“What are you doing here Poe?” her free hand goes straight to her saber. This is it, she thinks, they’re here for her. And though It is not the kind of approach she would have taken, she could see how this provides a distraction for the rest of the resistance to weasel their way through the crowds and take out who they need.   
“Courscant’s a big city.” He answers, as she takes the saber from her belt. Her thumb hesitates over the activation. Her whole body starts to freeze. This is it, isn’t it? “I was just on some business. I didn’t realize you were going to be-“  
Kylo clears his throat and the sound comes menacingly out of his voice synthesizer. Poe’s eyes land on him and he releases Rey at once. Rey tuck the saber back onto her belt before he’s got a clear view of her, suddenly feeling like an absolute nerf-herder. Poe watches her shoulders sink with guilt.   
“I just wasn’t expecting to see you.” He says, pulling away. Rey understands it isn’t smart for him to stick around. It wasn’t smart for him to call to her in the first place. And she wonders why he would have even done it? Maybe just adrenaline? Joy at seeing an old friend? She should let him slink back into the crowd but her fingers snatch his wrist before he can get too far away.  
“How is Finn?” She asks. The last time she had seen her friend from Jakku he had been in a stasis pod, and though she hasn’t given him much thought her heart still burns about it. He rubs the back of his neck, looking at his feet.  
“Up and fighting.” Poe reassures her, with a pat on the shoulder. Rey wonders how long he’s been awake, if he watched her wedding, if he’s been the only one pleading for her recue.   
“And The General?” Kylo stiffens next to her. He’s so close that Rey can feel it, even if she wasn’t she’d be able to feel the current of nervousness that shoots through the force. Poe looks at him while he talks to her, obviously aware he’s overstayed his welcome.  
“As stubborn as always.” He almost whispers, looking at her again.   
“What about you Poe?” She doesn’t realize that shes trembeling until her voice comes out so shakey, and then Rey swallows the spit in her mouth down a tight throat and does her best to keep steady. But it’s a lot harder than it seems and though she keeps her hands still her feet shake against the ground.  
Of course this wasn’t a rescue.  
“I’m hanging in there. Are you?”She nods.  
Of course they wouldn’t be here.   
“Lady Rey-“ Phasma’s voice breaks the silence. The silver plated captain reaches a hand out to her. Rey breaks eyes with Poe for just one second, to look at the choice before her.  
They wouldn’t make it ten feet, even if she decided to betray the resistance this way and run. Even if she wanted to sign the death warrant of her friends and family, she wouldn’t get ten feet before Phasma stopped her, and if she didn’t- Her eyes pick up and look directly into the dark visor behind her- Kylo would. Rey looks back into Poe’s face, doing her best to keep together.  
Of course this wasn’t it-  
“Rey-“ Poe starts, but his voice cracks and he has to begin again. He takes a deep breath and grabs her hand. “Rey, They are- they’re keeping you.”  
It isn’t what he wants to say. Its not even comforting, but Rey appreciates his honesty. Its an apology in its own way. It’s the admittance that she might be here forever. That she will be here forever. She only nods to him, and pulls herself out of his grip.   
“I know.” Rey places her hand in Phasma’s. “I knew from the start.” She admits. Because really, deep down she knew when Snoke got his hands on her he wouldn’t let go till she was dead. She knew that this fake marriage to Kylo Ren would be the trap that caught her for good. Even if she didn’t want to admit it, she had always known.   
“Don’t be such a stranger.” She nods at him. Both of them know she has no choice but its the best goodbye he can muster. Rey is the first to turn her back, allowing Phasma to lead her back to the protective cover of the troopers. Ren glares the pilot down for an extra moment before following.   
Rey’s eyes don’t leave Poe Dameron’s back until he has faded far off into the crowd, and even then she keeps herself hyper focused on the little dot that is his force signature. If they dare hurt him she’s prepared to shove her saber through Kylo’s chest at the moment. She keeps her thumb on the activator, just waiting. After a good few beats the little bleep fades away into the bustling of the city’s living force.   
A few tears slide down Rey’s cheeks once she’s sure he is gone. She doesn’t want her friends to see her like this, but its not like it matters, the sky is littered with cameras and surely this is playing somewhere within the resistance base. Part of her hopes Leia scolds Poe on return, telling him how stupid and reckless and cruel this was of him to do. She buries her eyes in open palms, trying her best to keep her sniffing quiet. She slides one of her forearms across her tears, wiping them away and doing her best to stand tall. Rey knows she’s ruining the fine silk sleeves of her gown, but she does not care. She knows the galaxy is watching their Empress break down and that’s the only thought that has her doing her best to keep it together.  
Next to her Ren places an arm around her waist, and pulls her slightly into his side. It is meant to be a comforting gesture, she can feel his intent rustling around, but it only makes her break out into a sob. He’s so warm and lovely, and he’s trying so hard but the fact that she fits here, that him comforting her almost works, makes her fall apart.  
This was it.  
Poe had basically just admitted her worst fear to her. Exhausted, she lays her head against the chest medal’s on Ren’s dress uniform, trying her best not to think about how intimate it is. She can’t think about how much she’s come to depend on him now. She can’t think about the fierce kisses and shared loneliness. She just replays him slaughtering her friends in her head, to keep away the nicer, betraying thoughts.  
Rey is just going to have to find her own kriffing way out of this. Her shoulders shake as a strangled sort of noise comes from her throat. She turns her face away from the cameras and further into Ren’s cloak. She doesn’t want to be in this crowd right now, doesn’t want to be seen. She defintily does not want to be taking so much comfort in the scourge of the universe either, but he seems to be the only thing keeping her from flinging herself off a cliff.  
\--  
“Emperor Ren-“ Phasma’s voice sounds a little panicked as she bursts into the meeting room. The entire team stops and looks straight to her, all a little shocked at her urgency. “We can’t find her.”  
Kylo wastes no time speculating. At once he throws himself into the force, feeling for the signature he knows like the back of his hand. Hux sits straight up in his chair, throwing an arm out to point at one of the lackeys at the back of the room.  
“Report to the Supreme Leader. The girl is gone-“ Ren growls, and holds his own fist out, stopping the particular lackey from moving an inch.  
“No.” Kylo bites. “She hasn’t gone far. “ He can almost feel her, just a couple blocks away, and he curses her through the bond for being so stupid. But his thoughts hit a wall between them and he realizes shes got every one of her guards against him up.   
Hux scowls, but nods his head in concession.  
“If she isn’t back by the morning Ren, I’m giving the orders.” Kylo lets a snarl rip through the back of his throat, before pushing past Phasma and marching out of the room altogether.  
\--  
"What will it be?"Rey's eyes drag around the cantina she's found. It's small and greasy, hidden between alleyways and cast in red light. There are creatures at every glance, some use the large dance floor, some laugh with their friends, most just sit and drown their worries. That’s the part she found most appealing, the thing that made her walk through the swinging doors in the first place.

"Something strong. " she bites, gaze falling to her hands on the plastic covered Bar top. She almost doesn’t feel them. Every part of her body is weirdly empty, like she hasn’t felt since she was last in the sand. "I need something strong. " The tender nods and starts mixing something together. She sees him grab at least four different liquor bottles and wonders just how forgetful she’s about to become.

"You come here a lot?" He asks, shaking a canister. "You look real familiar.”  
Rey shakes her head. 'No I'm the Empress of the Galaxy' it almost leaves her lips, but she bites it back with a bitter smile. That wouldn’t be the wisest answer. There are people who are probably all over this city trying to get her head on a platter just for the association of the first order, not knowing this isn’t her choice and she has no real power. Hell, there might even be people trying to kill her because she doesn’t want the position just as well…

"Just one of those faces, you know?" She settles on. The bar tender raises an eye brow, like he doesn’t fully believe her- which he would be stupid too honestly, and sets her drink down in front of her. Rey takes a large gulp and her nose wrinkles up. He may ask too many questions but the man sure knew how to make something strong.   
Another customer walks up to the bar across from her and the tender leaves her be. 

Rey can’t help but let her thoughts drift to them. She wonders if Master Luke knows they’re leaving her here, if he and Finn had fought for her at all. Bitterly she wants to say no, they just left her. She wants to believe no one cared for her too much, because that made it all easier. It makes the resentment she feels justifiable. It makes her feel less of the dark gooey oil that currently covers her limbs and feels her heart.

Rey really wants to destroy something. She doesn’t think she’s ever been this close to the darkside, not even when being tortured by Hux, not even choking Kylo Ren to her mercy . The thought of them hating her keeps her just out of its reach, because if she starts thinking about the way she loves them, and all the things shed do for them-  
Well, they clearly don’t return it. 

It isn't until Rey is on her second of the abnormally blue drinks that the seat next to her squeaks. 

"Have you decided to run off for real this time?" Rey sighs. She knew he was coming. It would be stupid of them to leave her alone, but she had hoped to be a little more intoxicated by the time he found her.

"You know I couldn't do that to them.” Even after all of it, even after being left to this creature, she still wouldn’t be able to betray them.

"No of course not." Ren draws in a breath, letting his lips twist up in a bitter smile. "I expected you to pull that saber on me and escape as soon as I handed it to you. But you've stayed so long for what? Them...?"

Rey just nods, refusing to even look at him.

"They're not coming back for you.” He only says it because he feels like she hasn’t actually accepted it yet. She shakes her head and takes a large gulp of the ugly blue drink in front of her.

"I know.” She sighs, finally looking up at him. And maker he wants to ring every one of their necks when he sees the heartbreak in her eyes. “Believe me I'm painfully aware of it.”

"Then why keep them safe?"

"Because I love them.” Love? Ren mulls the word over in his head. It is familiar to him in the same way you recognize something through water- blurry, unsure, but it is there. It’s the short moments the dead boy experienced with his mother in the quiet. It’s the quick electric heart beat he’s hand when he accidently touches the scavenger.   
They don't deserve her love, he thinks leaning his elbows down onto the bar top. Not if they would leave her to rot with someone like him. 

"I should've expected an answer like that from you.” His voice is even as he stands up. For a second he hesitates before holding his arm out. "Lets go home.”

"I've had a rough day.” she sighs, refusing to look at him once again. "I need some time.” 

He opens his mouth to protest, but closes it without speaking. He turns back around and sits onto the stool. He will sit here silently as long as she needs him too. He doesn't know why, and for the first time he's blaming the blood spell, but the scavenger needs this, and he doesn't want to be the one to take it away.

He's going to end up ruining her life so much more- even more than he already has. So, he thinks, for now he'll let her have this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the most well written thing on the earth and i'm sorry guys. I really didn't plan on having this chapter out this week but I was just so excited about her finding out they weren't coming I had to post it. Poor Rey... 
> 
> As always let me know what you guys think! Comments and Kudos keep me writing! Thank you all so much!


	16. Whoops

Three planets go by in a blur, and Rey can’t look her husband in the eyes on any of them, not in the capitol of Dowut, or even the beautiful Corellian plains. Every time she catches his gaze by accident she thinks about it-about him, and is forced to turn away. She does her best not to speak to him either, curt nods and polite smiles in official interviews is about the closest she gets. She’s taken to pouring herself into the role of Empress instead. She devours holos on the First Order and keeps her eyes glued to streams of galactic news. When they ask her about issues she is for once able to answer confidently. It’s the other questions that always seem to knock her off her feet.   
She isn’t asked anything of particular consequence until they’re being recorded for some sort of talk show. She sits beside Kylo drenched in a high collared white wonder and jewels. His black gloved hand rests on her armrest, not reaching out but not particularly guarded either and she almost takes it from sheer nerves. But that’s the last thing she needs especially after the Courascant fiasco, so she gathers her skirt in her hands and bundles it slightly instead. Her eyes haven’t moved from a particular square of carpet in a while and it takes them a few minutes to snap up after she realizes she’s being spoken to.  
“I’m sorry?” Rey prompts, pulling her whole body out of trance.  
“I asked how you approve of your honeymoon so far, your grace?” Rey blinks at the man behind the desk. Enjoy? Is the scowl on her face not apparent enough? “Has the Emperor been treating you well?” Something about the way the question comes from his mouth makes her stomach squeeze up. It makes the hallway on Courascant comes to her mind, lips clamoring for each other, hands making maps of the other. She blinks at him again, her heart racing. When she opens her mouth she’s expecting something witty or angry to slash through the man, but no sound leaves her lips. Instead, her face becomes so hot its almost burning and the man starts to chuckle. There’s no doubt she’s tomato faced on a live program.  
“Our trip is going well enough.” Kylo answers curtly for her when it’s apparent she’s going to just gape at the man. “I don’t see how that’s of any importance.” And of course being chided by the Emperor makes the man stumble back into apologies and nervous questions and the Empress is not addressed once more in the fifteen minute program.   
But it keeps happening- She is constantly confronted with the brick wall of questions about her relationship with the emperor. Of course they’re married, but it feels like someone’s figured out it’s a scam, like the entire universe is trying to figure out if she kisses her husband behind closed doors.  
-or in hallways  
Or in-  
Don’t think about it.   
Before she knows it she’s on the Finalizer once again, as it sits just above her home planet, in an attached suite to the Emperor’s own quarters. Jakku is intimidating from above. She had never bothered looking back as she and Finn sped away from it but now, she’s forced to glare out of her expansive viewport and stare the planet down. She does her best to find Niima on the spinning orb, knowing she won’t ever be able to spot it in the beige, but she works her mind into a knot concentrating on the sand, rather giving herself a headache than letting her thoughts knock down the door she’s kept locked.   
He hasn’t been in her mind since, and honestly she really appreciates it. She’s stayed equally away from his thoughts, partially because she is just so embarrassed and partially because oh god what if he’s thinking about it? She can’t face that, not yet.  
Not ever.  
Stop thinking about it- she catches herself, but as her head falls into her hands she’s picturing it perfectly all over again. Stumbling through a dark alleyway, his hands on her waist the only thing keeping her up right- Kylo getting fed up with her pace and throwing his free arm under her knees, cradling her up against his chest as they broke onto the street.   
It was the dead of the night, no speeders flying above, no pedestrians to walk amongst. His dress uniform was just slightly askew enough for her cheek to fall against the bare skin where his neck meets his shoulders. The streets smelt like liquors and oil, street lamps casting a red hue on everything she saw, which honestly was only Kylo, she couldn’t pick her head up and gaze around if she wanted, and she’ll credit that to the alcohol and never to how mesmerized she felt in the moment. But she could barley even smell the poignant street over his fine Chandrillian cologne- it was like deep spices and ink, ashes, green. He smelt so green, like a forest. She couldn’t help smiling against him. She remembers smelling it on Takadona, not knowing it was him, she thought about the scent every time she dreamed of green. She remembers smelling it at their wedding and attributing it to all the beautiful landscaping surrounding them. Without another thought her hand snaked around the back of his neck, and she held herself against him with the little bit of leverage.   
Somehow her lips graze his jaw, and that’s the mistake right there. His skin his so soft and warm, mixed with the light prickle of the days hair against them, and it at once makes her four times more drunk than she had been just a second ago. Her body takes over, trailing her lips up his jaw line, she isn’t quite kissing him, but there is definitely not any other intent laced in her movements. She rubs her face against the shell of his ear into his soft hair for a second, before placing a test of a peck against his cheek. As soon as her lips touched his face she knew she had too much to drink, and she was making a terrible mistake, but god she had never felt this lonely before and he was right here and so warm.   
He turned his face a fraction, probably to ask her to stop, and instead of letting him speak Rey’s lips touched his. Kylo draws in a little shocked breath, and Rey parted her own lips to get his between them. And then she kissed him. It was one of the most tender things she’d ever done. She thought he stopped walking, but couldn’t be sure- her head was spinning so hard it still felt like they were moving.   
Kylo didn’t knock her off, of course he wouldn’t, he was always so polite to her now days. She knew better than to think he’d have… feelings for her, but he’d do his best to keep the charade up- even in the hallway he had told her if she didn’t start playing her part she’d get them both killed.

He was just worried about Snoke- she tells herself- even though there was no one there to watch them slink down the courscanti streets at three or to see that kiss. It’s not like he hadn’t kissed her back, the little dark-sider on her shoulder chides. He could have even put her down when she broke away but he just settled her back down into his chest and kept walking.   
Holding him in her drunken stupor wasn’t even the worst part, though.  
The worst part, and the reasons for her being entirely mortified of her husband, was the morning. They were to leave Courscant in the afternoon, so a nice little droid was sent to make sure the Emperial couple stirred. Something cold and metal jabbed Rey in the shoulder several times, causing her to free her arm and swat at it. Once the threat stopped she pulled her arm back and nestled it back underneath the warmth, burying her head deeper into his hair.  
She froze. For a moment Rey refused to open her eyes, she wasn’t dumb, she knew what she’d find. Her face is stiff, tears dried down her cheeks, and she knew, at once, she’d fallen asleep crying in his arms.  
And Rii’a that is so much worse than making out with him in a hallway. Of course they’d end up kissing eventually, he’s a man, shes a woman, they’re married, a fluke is a fluke, but this was different-  
Especially after the nightmare talk, and the hotel hallway, after being abandoned and holding him- Maker- She didn’t need to show him how she felt- She didn’t need to start seeking refuge in him or else she was going to start-  
Oh, maker she was going to start caring for him.   
What is wrong with her? She just has to get through this honeymoon, she reminds herself, after the honeymoon she can say she’d rather be planet bound and go live on Chandrila while her husband gallivants the galaxy on the Finalizer.   
She involuntarily pictures herself wrapped up in his sheets, staring out the open windows towards the sea- wondering where amongst the stars her lover is. She wonders if he’d call her, if he’d come home every once in a while and hold her. She shakes it from her head when she asks herself if he’ll miss her, or if she’ll worry.   
Of course she wouldn’t worry. She hopes he gets stabbed on the battlefield.   
Her mouth feels bitter after the thought, but she won’t take it back. The last thing she needs is to have compassion for the murderer, to get at all distracted from getting out of here.   
And then there it is, the pain she’s been living off for weeks, she’s not getting out of here.   
They aren’t coming for her. Lately the darkside has been trying to swallow her with this train of thought, but right now she’s too exhausted to feel it, even if it is there. She could understand Poe Dameron, maybe even Finn and Master Luke- but the General wasn’t coming for her. Leia had turned her back on her. She just wants to curl up in the black sheets on her bed and cry, but she can’t anymore.  
And she hates to admit it but part of the reason she has to beg herself not to think about crying in Kylo’s arms is because it’s the best shes felt since she saw Poe. He almost felt like family then, to a lonely girl used to rocking herself calm in the sand, and she can’t have herself slipping down that path, not yet, not ever.


	17. Niima

Apparently, since their wedding was on Chandrila, it is of great importance for the Empress to be paraded around her own homeworld. It's out of respect for her people, Phasma explains earlier in the morning when Rey starts to get restless. And Rey can’t blame them after all, they don't know the sand dwellers could give less of a Bantha shit about respect.   
The best part of her day is seeing the twi’lek sisters again; she's requested they be her main stylist, as much as she hates saying even the word stylist. Lynn and Tam are the only people who have come in to fix her up who haven't been complete airheads, and Rey does appreciate that in someone.   
Lynn is fixing her hair when she asks.  
“Empress, do you- “she almost bites her tongue, but over the month of being together for all her appearances, Rey's tried to make it clear to the girls they may speak freely. “Do you support the First Order?”  
Rey purses her lips. This is really a double edge sword. The last time she let someone know how tied with the resistance she was they were disposed of and she can't be sure the twi’leks aren't loyal to the first order. So she does the best thing her mind can come up with, and tells the partial truth. 

“I was a member of the Resistance before I was married. “ She says evenly toned, and the girl she’s nearest raises her eyebrows. Rey can’t tell if she’s being judged or not. “But my allegiance is to my husband. “R’iia it brings a blush to her face to even fake say that. Tam grins wickedly.  
“You must love him a lot then, to have Resistance values and be in a place like this?”

“He's alright.” She says with a grimace the girls take this as a joke and laugh in unison. Rey’s happy they don’t look too much into her. “I think I could do a lot of good as the Empress. “Rey admits. She knows it's cocky to say but the words leave her lips any way. “The more I see what the first order has to offer the more I see how I can use it to help little people. “

“Little people?” The girls ask at once. Their work on her pauses and Rey is a little afraid she’s gotten them too interested. She just wants to do her best in flying under the radar for now. The bathroom gets quiet. It takes Rey a few beats to give an answer. 

“Like scavengers and slaves and people who have to fight to live. “Like me she wants to add, and Kylo. The people who are manipulated by others just for bare survival. It hits her in this moment just how hard she doesn’t want to go back to Jakku. It’s a bare minimum planet. Besides, she might be too tempted to sink back into the dunes.  
What if they’re there? What if they’ve been waiting for her since she left and beg her to come with them? Have they seen her on the holonet? Do they know who she is now? How bad is it going to hurt to tell them she can’t go with them that if she leaves her place a lot of people would die?

And if they aren’t there- its going to be twenty times more painful. Rey doesn’t want to know. She wants to only wonder about it for the rest of her life, it would be so much more merciful that way. 

Tam wipes her thumb across Rey’s face.  
“Please don’t cry.” She says softly, startling Rey back into their conversation. The younger sister looks a little confused. “I’m sure you’ll be able to help.”   
Honestly, the older Twi’lek looks like she’s about to bawl as well and Rey remembers they were slaves once. She didn’t mean to hit too close to home for them either. Lynn leans down, not quite touching Rey but in the mirror in front of them it looks too close to a hug.

“We hope you can help as many as you can your highness. From my heart to yours I give my gratitude.” The sisters try to get back to lighthearted conversation, but Rey can’t manage to talk much more than she already has after that. Her mind stays on her parents, her family-  
And thinking of her family the General comes to mind, and Finn, and-  
Tam will occasionally rub her thumb just under Rey’s eye as she does her makeup, but she says nothing else about the Empress crying.  
She supposes the General actually is family to her now. Leia is her mother-in-law and the thought puts a weird taste in her mouth. Technically, Rey thinks, She has more of a family now, being abandoned to her husband, than she ever did before- they may not be a sufficient support system, but she’s got more relatives now than she ever did.   
And she actually likes one of them.   
They dress her in browns and beiges and for the first time she feels less ridiculous and actually regal. Her gown drapes in soft folds over her chest and shoulders, two trains of it settling loosely across her back and leaving as much of her freckled skin there bare as it can manage. One of the shoulder folds falls down the length of her arm, creating the illusion of a cascading sleeve, whereas the other stays neatly pinned at her collarbone and leaves her strong arm to be admired, her arm and the shining rock on her hand. Her hair is styled in three buns straight down her head, all curled and pinned instead of messily thrown up, with not quite a crown resting on her temples, but a small delicate circlet made of silver and dark metal twisted together.  
Kylo dresses exactly the way he did when he first set foot on Jakku, like she had seen him in Takadona, mask and all. He’s back to being menacing- and does not acknowledge her the entire transport down (save a small nod of greeting when he first sees her in the hangar).  
All day it goes, stop, pose for pictures, give a speech in a small trading post, and get in a speeder then on to the next one.   
It isn’t until they are in their last speeder for the day that he takes off his mask. The mechanical hiss breaks Rey out of a daze staring out the window and snaps her attention to him. Kylo sits diagonally across from her, as far as he can manage in the small space, but his legs are too long and they still end up brushing knees. He’s brushing hair off his forehead, that still- despite being in the helm for hours, is somehow gently curled. Rey grits her teeth. Of course he’s perfect-  
And then she does a double take. He does look perfect, there’s not even a scar on his face. He must have been just as made up as she was this morning only to throw a fit and wear his mask regardless. For a moment she pictures him lightsaber out, slashing walls and threatening stylists like a child- before they relent out of fear and hand over the mask.   
Kylo blinks at her.  
Was she staring? Rey’s face turns red and she quickly looks at her lap.  
“I’m sorry-“It leaves her mouth before she really thinks about it, and then it occurs to her if she hadn’t been caught staring she was just embarrassing herself further.   
“It’s fine.” He says simply, instead of goading her- and that’s when Rey snaps to that something’s up with him.  
“Is everything alright?” She asks, and soon feels ridiculous for trying to have a conversation like this with him. Why would she check on him? Why would she care? He just frowns and gives her a small nod, his eyes flickered over her and then out the window.  
Well, now she feels really stupid.   
“Alright-“ She nods back to him, and turns her gaze back to the window.   
Niima is last, because it’s the closest thing to a hometown she has. It is Mid-afternoon, and the sun is the highest in the sky, casting no shadows on the shady figures that creep around. This is their last stop on Jakku and it has been made very clear that it will be filmed and Rey is not to say a word. The moment her shoes hit the sand her gut is twisting in knots. There is a small stage set up, made out of tarps and rusted metal, and troopers line their path to it. Kylo takes the lead, his helmet shoved underneath his arm, and Rey stumbles behind him too busy to wonder if he’s been ordered to keep it off here.

It hasn’t changed.

The way the dunes form, the huts and vendor booths, Plutt’s place huddled neatly in the middle of it all. She remembers sitting under that veranda, really not that long ago, scrubbing her fingers to the bone hoping there’s enough metal in front of her to earn a meal.  
And she never really knew how wrong it was. Until she was taken in by Finn it was just life, the way things were. She’s come so far- she realizes with a distinct tremor in the force- and its not even a bad thought, in fact she’s disturbingly proud of it for a moment. Kylo’s end of the bond pulls loosely, not inquiring outright but definitely wondering why the force just folded around her that way.   
There’s a small group of locals crowding the stage, but the little crowd consists of mostly Finalizer passengers and recording droids.   
Her steps are about half as big as Kylo’s and her pace a fourth longer. She looses ground on him very quickly and he’s already up the stage when she reached the steps. Rey almost trips going up the little bit of wood.   
It is all just so surreal, she’s dazed looking out the crowd, trying to recognize anyone- just the face, she never knew anyone’s name. And now she knows why she’s dressed in tans here, why her hair is in buns. Its for the tiny recognition she sees flicker through the faces of those who stepped on her as a child- for the pride she sees at the fear in Unkar Plutt’s eyes. It doesn’t work too well. She was small, hid well, stayed to herself. No one knew her name either- not even when she visited the outpost every day. She was just another body soaking up heat, another scavenger, another starving child trying to get the best deal. Despite her being slightly recognizable there is really no effect of it. If Snoke had wanted uproar or some kind of community pride in her he had played his cards wrong for once.   
Rey takes a seat next to Kylo, and a man in black walks up to the stage and introduces them. He calls local after local up to the stage to recite fake stories about the Empress’ kindness they’ve either been paid for or threatened to. Most of the locals blunder through the words. None of them knowing her makes material hard to come by, and all their words so ungenuine. It is impossible to think for a second this is not fake. It’s not like she’s really listening anyway. She can’t stop looking at Unkar. His face pulls at the darkness in her belly. Rey does her best to shove it down- She can deal with her own hardships. She can handle herself like a rational Jedi.  
The darkside does however start pulling at her, but only when she’s forced to take her eyes off Plutt. There’s a child crying. Rey’s head swivels around until her eyes land on a triplet. There is a mother in the very corner of the crowd, with an older child in tears clinging to her leg and a child so small she has to clutch it to her chest. It takes Rey a minute, but her brain catches up why he’s crying. He’s hungry- she’s cried too many nights just like that.  
There’s two troopers pitting them into a corner. They’re all shouting, but Rey can’t quite determine the words. But she can see the Troopers raise their blasters.  
Oh, She’s about to get into so much trouble, part of her prays Snoke calls on her himself, though, because this isn’t going to be fair to Kylo.  
Rey is very quickly unaware of marching down the steps, and shoving the troopers standing guard out of her way. She completely forgets about the cameras in the sky watching as she storms through the crowd, cursing in their indigenous language. She doesn’t realize she quite literally knocks the blaster out of a troopers hand, still shouting curses, or even taking her lightsaber out from her skirt and igniting it. There is no more speaking coming from the stage- in fact there is no more Emperor on the stage either.   
“Stop it.” She snarls, in common finally. The two troopers drop their blasters, holding their palms to their chest in defense. Both men look a little like they’ve soiled themselves.   
“We were told to make sure there were no interruptions, your highness.” One of them tries to explain. Rey’s teeth grit together.  
“And these children and their mother were disturbances?” Rey hisses. “How about you worry more about actually security threats than hungry children?” She can’t help shouting. Both troopers drop their gaze to the ground when she is finished speaking. After first she thinks she must look something terrifying, and then she can feel his presence behind her. Kylo Ren’s hand slips around her bicep, and then grips her tightly and tugging her against him. He leans down so his lips are on her ear and whispers the words so each one sinks into her brain.  
“Now is not the time, Scavenger.” She suddenly replays the events- and him shouting at her to stop her whole way to the family is now on the forefront of her mind. He’s been trying to stop her since she stood. It’s like she’s coming down from a high and suffering the consequences. “Get back to the stage.”  
Oh no, she’s holding a lightsaber to First Order troops. Oh, kriff. She deactivates it and shoves it back inside the folds of her dress. At once it is clear there is no negation with him. He makes it menacingly clear, but before she obeys him she looks at Phasma to her left.  
“Take them to the ship.” She hisses, nodding at the trio. “Give them a meal and a bath and have them waiting for me.”

When Rey is guided by the bicep back to the stage it is to a much somber crowd, and Kylo does not release his hold on her until their back on the transport up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its a little soon for an update but I already had this written(because the last chapter was supposed to be part of it) and I kept staring at it in my notes! I hope you all still love this story, and I'm so sorry about my too-long Hiatus! I'm going to be writing a lot more often now- my schedules not the literal devil anymore! There is one more chapter and then were done with the first arc of this story. Oh, R'iia I can't wait to see all your reactions. And as always than you for all the love on this story, every one of you warms the crap outta my heart!


	18. Alone

Rey is a good few feet away when Kylo’s mind catches up. He launches up from the makeshift throne they've made him and does his best to catch her dress in his fist, but the fabric barley slips through his fingers as she marches down the steps and by the time she hits the sand she's like a rocket.  
She wasn't this angry when he shoved his blade through Han; she wasn't this angry as she stood over him and choked the life from him after hours of torture. The expression on her face is far harsher than anytime she's called him a monster in their endless fights. And he can feel the darkside floating off her. His heart squeezes as he chases after her. She's dangerously close, something he's noticed a lot lately. It should make him proud, that was their goal wasn't it?  
Her limbs are shaking with each stomp through the sand. She won't look back at even one of the many calls of ‘scavenger’ he makes. But what could have set her off so badly? He searches the crowd, trying his best to find a source.  
It isn't until she halts dead in front of the troopers that he even stops. Kylo has to dig his heels into the sand to keep himself from slamming into her back.  
She's shouting something awful, basically hissing at the troopers, and maker does she have a potty mouth. She slams her fist down on one of the troopers and knocks the weapon from his hand so violently that the man has to take a step back. It's only when the soldier moves that Kylo sees the mother and her children. When his brain catches up to what his eyes are seeing his blood starts to boil. Why would she keep risking herself for things, people, that don't matter?  
She keeps snarling words out, doing her best to be threatening but Kylo can't concentrate on her words. How could she be so reckless after being warned time and time again? How could she have so little self preservation? If Snoke didn't kill her, he'd surely teach her a lesson personally this time. He reaches out and tugs her, accidentally so hard that she hits his chest with a thud. 

“Now is not the time, Scavenger.” He bites out each word. Her lightsaber shrinks down as horror grows in her eyes. “Get back to the stage. “  
Kylo has never seen anyone look so perfectly bewildered and enraged simultaneously. She only blinks at him a couple of times before barking commands at Phasma. He can't help but frown, hard, even now she's still trying to help these people that are so far below her. He drags her back to the stage, Kylo replacing her as the angry one and Rey blushing hard, embarrassed at all the stares thrown her way. Despite this she still throws her shoulders back, as though to say she regrets nothing. Neither of them say another word, and almost too quickly, as though it were purposely cut short, the ceremony ends. They’re in a daze as Kylo drags her off the stage and onto the transport. It isn't until he realizes he's still got her well formed bicep in his palm that he lets go as the ship ramp raises shut. 

“I was starting to lose circulation. “she grumbles sarcastically. And it's not like this isn't their normal attitudes to each other but by the Maker has Kylo has enough.  
“Good. “ He bites back, and he means it. Kylo crosses his arms across his chest like a child. Rey scoffs and there's another beat of silence.  
Everyone in the transport, troopers, officials, all shift a little uncomfortably. 

He knows, he knows so much better than to fight with her in front of all these people but he just can't let her get off easily. 

“How many times do I have to tell you your little stunts aren't okay?” The words leave his lips in an odd mixture of a sigh and a shout, either way exasperated. “Do you want to get yourself killed? This is exactly how you get yourself killed!”

“And?” Rey shouts back. One of the troopers closest to her flinches. “My family has abandoned me. What? I should preserve myself to spend my years with you?”

Ow. Kylo has to admit that hurt. Even if the two of them aren't clamoring to embrace their newlyweds bliss it's still unpleasant to hear someone would rather die than be with you. 

“You should preserve yourself-” he starts, and then has to stop and rethink his words since he can't very well say ‘because I tell you too’. All the air in his lungs quickly heaves through his nostrils. “You should preserve yourself so you can do good for the galaxy as the Empress. You want to help pathetic little desert dwellers? Then stay alive. Don't act like your brains are made of Bantha shit. “  
There's now a noticeable gap between the two of them and any other passengers. Anyone else on the ship is pressed as against the wall as they can manage. There are even a few people with sweat dripping down their collars.  
“Every time I try to help anyone I've got you in my KRIFFING ear-” two troopers make eye contact across the ship, one nods his head in a way that asks if they should intervene the other shakes his head furiously, as though to say ‘be my guest buddy I'm not getting in between that for ten thousand credits. ‘“-telling me I'm acting the wrong way. I'm just supposed to sit back as the Empress of the entire galaxy and let starving children be treated that way by my own troops-?”  
Rey has turned to face him in her speech and she prods a finger into his chest a little harder than she should. 

“They aren't your troops. “ Kylo says before he's fully processed her words. And then it hits him, they were starving children- just like her. Suddenly he knows all too well why she had acted that way. She saw herself in the dirty little family. He deflates of course there's still a hint of bitterness in his chest because she just has to see herself in every single stupid helpless person. 

“And yes-”He hisses, but there's no real steam behind him anymore. “You are. You're loyalty is to the First Order, not to the people. “  
“No.” Rey spins on her heel, refusing to look at him as she speaks. Instead she focuses on the small circular windows. “My loyalty is to my husband, not this deranged organization. That was the deal. I married you, I’ll give you children just like I was asked too but I will not, I will never, bow my head down and submit to this evil that you allow to run rampant in the galaxy. “

Kylo knows she's not speaking frankly. Or that she'd give him any of these things, least of all her children, but the sentence stops his turning mind. He's so desperate for even a small taste of it, her loyalty, a family, that's he's hooked as soon as it leaves her lips. His hand reaches out and touches her shoulder, turning her to look him in the eyes. And he's sure his expression is ridiculously soft but he can't make himself care in the moment.  
They've both forgotten about the others in the shuttle, and even though the crowd was the initial reason they were so close to each other they're practically inches away with no real reason anymore. 

“I'm not the one asking you too.” He says in the lowest voice he can muster, hoping hers are the only ears it falls on. “I'm just asking you not to get yourself killed… for me, Rey, if no one else… if not you. “ 

It's the closest he’ll ever come to a confession of any kind, and though he doesn't explicitly say anything he can see Rey’s heart drop in her eyes. The sound of her name feels so odd on his tongue he wants to repeat it, over and over again until it feels like he was meant to say it. Instead, however he stays quiet just waiting for her to speak. 

Rey takes a step back, closer to the crowd than to him, knocking his hand from her shoulder. 

“Emperor, I-” she speaks, but lets it die on her tongue, staring out the same window again. What could she even say? He's not expecting her to agree and jump into his arms, so then what is he expecting? This should be nothing short of disaster. 

There's nothing she can say. Or wants to say, he isn't sure but either way the shuttle docks and the door lowers open. Anyone on the ship flees at first opportunity. 

He gives her one more glance, and when he decides she isn't going to speak he starts to walk with the others. But Rey catches his cape in her hand. 

“It's the anniversary. “She says softly like the thought has plagued her, breaking the silence, and Kylo raises a brow. She counts days; he remembers that from the trip into her mind on Starkiller, little ticks across steel walls. He wonders for a moment if her quarters are littered with the same marks. It's been a full cycle since-

“The anniversary of what?” Kylo asks, his voice a low rumble. He thinks he knows what she's referring too but he wants to hear it from her lips. He makes no attempt to turn and watch her, keeping his eyes on the hangar just outside. 

"Of the day we met.”She mumbles, more to herself than him. It's been three hundred and sixty four cycles since she dug herself out of the sand in that Hail Mary run to the Falcon with Finn- a year since that first desperate scrambling away from him on Takadona, the first time she's seen his face on the Starkiller. It all seems so long ago. "Of Han's-" she stops in her tracks, and he's sure she's looking sheepishly at his back as it stiffens with the name. Has it already been a year? It feels like yesterday that he sliced through his father. He still feels like he's just met her.  
“I'm tired of fighting, Ren. “She says softly against the cold air. “I'm tired of being alone. “Her mumble is just quiet enough to reach his ears and Maker how his heart breaks. 

"You aren't.” He almost whispers back and he waits patiently for her to release his cape and stalks down the ramp. 

But just as he fades from view he places a small reassurance in the corner of her mind. 

"I'm always with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I added another chapter. I just can't help it guys I don't know why I'm like this. Also I made an official chapter count and I'm gonna do my best to stick with it but let's be honest here I'm a piece of trash. 
> 
> As always thank you for reading and I love all your comments so much! They are what keeps me writing!


	19. Hopeless

The Finalizers halls always seem emptier than they are. Rey marches through the dark pathways, zipping through crowds of people on the way to the cantina for their lunch break. There's about five hours of light left planetside and she knows she's still got plenty to do before it gets dark. One awkward lift ride later (apparently word of her and Ren’s little argument spread quickly through the ship because there's not a soul who doesn't look at her with big eyes and whisper. ) and two more passageways she stands at the open door to her quarters, where Phasmas positioned, watching her guests with weary eyes.   
They looks so out of place, even with the sand cleaned off them, in the clean lines of the Finalizer. Rey wonders how she must've looked, when first taken onto the ship- If she looked just as odd, rattled and tired, defiant but terrified, as they do.   
The oldest boy sits at Rey’s small breakfast table,with plates and plates of food eaten down to the bone in front of him, tracing patterns into the steel only he can see. For a second, as Rey's eyes hit the plates, she hates herself. She has been so wasteful these past weeks, sticking to caff and watching food spoil out of sheer pettiness. With the realization comes a tight throat. Who is she now? Has the First Order already changed her? Spoiled her? Rey of Jakku would never waste a drop, she would scramble to eat anything she could, eat parts of beasts most people wouldn't touch because she knew better than to waste.   
And apparently she doesn't anymore. 

The mother, like Rey this morning, stands next to the expansive glass and stares down at the planet below, tears in her eyes, holding the younger boy close.

“My husband was a spacer. “ She says quietly when she sees Rey’s reflection approach. “Always looking for better work, always saying he'd be a better man, never actually doing anything about it. We hopped planets like neighborhoods, like what we were going to eat for lunch- until Jakku.” Her voice drops so hard Rey's afraid to know the rest of her story. 

“What happened to him?” She asks softly, coming fully into the room and shutting the door behind her. 

“I don't know. “ She sighs. “We got in this fight one night, and he just dropped us off here, told us he was going for a job and he'd be right back. “ 

There's not a lot Rey can really say, or at least not a lot she can think too. Her heart sinks into her stomach. 

“I have another son, “ she sighs against the glass. “Old enough to work. He took my boy with him. That's the only reason I haven't left this place yet. “The woman turns her back to the window. “Empress, I appreciate your good fortune towards us but I'm not sure of your intentions. I have to stay down on that sand until he comes back.” 

“How long have you been on Jakku?” 

“Almost a year. “

He's not coming back, Rey desperately wants to tell her, You need to pack your things and run far far away from the trap of a planet. But Rey can't blame her at all, she even still has the pull to go planet bound and search for the people who left her, maybe one more day, maybe one more week and they'd show up. She knows the drill all too well, and she knows that when you're waiting on someone so desperately nothing short of destruction is ever going to convince to stop. So she just inclines her head softly. 

“I understand that you can't leave, so then please let me do something for you. “ the woman starts shaking her head. “It's the least I can do for the  
way the order has treated you. “

“You've done enough, Empress. I- “

“Rey-” she doesn't mean to interrupt her, but Rey needs this woman to see her as a person and not a galactic ruler. “Please call me Rey. “ 

“I am Izren. “ the mother says in response and nods her head down to the baby she holds. “This is Winrel-” and then jerks it to the older one “-and Baniss. “   
Rey gives them a smile, and crosses to sit next to Baniss at her breakfast table.   
“Have you all been treated well?” She asks as she sinks down, moving some of the empty plates to the side. Baniss does not meet her eyes but nods, and the mother gives her a reassuring look.   
“Nothing but, especially thanks to your guard out there. She made sure we were taken care of. “ but her voice drops off. “Not that we don't appreciate your kindness Empre- uh, Rey, but is there anyway we could be planet bound soon? “

“Of course. “ Rey responds in kind. “You wouldn't want to stay for dinner? I'll order whatever you'd like. “   
Izren shakes her head.   
“That sounds wonderful, however Space always Winrel sick and we need to find a place to sleep before it gets to dark.”

“A place to sleep?” She asks even though she already knows. Rey decides quite impulsively in the moment, exactly what she must do. She just inclined her head. “If there's anything you want before we go don't hesitate to ask, otherwise we can head for the hangar. “ 

Izren says something to Baniss in durese , and the boy hops up from the table, Rey follows suit and takes them back down the hallways. When a group of troopers enter the hallway from the other side Izren grabs her older son and holds him close to her side.   
Of course, Rey thinks, watching how protective the woman is. Her and her husband traversed the stars doing god knows what. No wonder she's been so on edge she doesn't trust the First Order. Rey suddenly feels guilty. Even trying to do a good deed she's only made the woman's situation worse, she's only been selfish.   
Rey stops at a small room when they're only a few feet from the hangar, and asks Phasma to bring them down to the hangar, saying she'll catch up. 

When she closes the door behind her she's happy to see only the laundry droids are inside and she makes quick work of going straight to one of the large bins of clean clothes and extracting atrium trooper blacks from inside.   
Unfortunately she can't find a pair even remotely her size and when she sheds her dress and slips them on she has to roll up the legs and push up the sleeves more than halfway. She grabs a hip holster hanging from the wall and knots it around her waist, slipping her saber into the space where a blaster should go.   
She slips back outside in an instant but instead of the empty hallway she'd expected she bumps straight into an all black figure.   
When she backs up and focuses her eyes she sees hux sneering down at her. 

“Watch yourself. “ he hisses, and a few beats go by where she just stares incredulously at him so he raises his brows. “Can I help you?”   
“Absolutely not. “ she manages, doing her best to look just as sour as he does. And then as an afterthought “where is the Emperor?” 

“In an audience with the supreme leader, trying to clean up your mess.” He fires back. “And when he's done you're expected to go see the supreme leader as well. “ Rey just nods, good she thinks, she has time to stall for. She just has to make it back before they've noticed she's gone. Before-

She suppresses the shudder that tries to rip through her. Before she faces whatever Snokes plan for her is.   
She's halfway stalking off when her wrist is caught, and she almost trips from the sharp pull. 

“You're husband won't always be around to protect you. “ hux sneers. Rey has more than half a mind to slug him the bitter little face. “ The day he's gone you're going to answer to me. “ 

Rey rips her wrist from his grip with a teedospeak curse. She flattens the Palm closest to him, slinging it up and shoving him back with a sizable force push. He thuds against the hallway wall. 

“I can handle a rat like you by myself thanks. “ she snarks, and she's in the hangar before he is even back up from the floor. 

What an absolute fool, Rey cant help but think to herself. Even if Ren were to disappear does Hux really think he could control her? Snoke, definitely, Hux, no chance.   
She shakes the thoughts from her head when Izren comes into view, already loaded on a shuttle with Phasma and waiting. She gallops up the entrance ramp and is more than pleased to find there is no pilot, so she throws Phasma a wild smirk and gets behind the controls. 

Maybe it's been too long since she flew anything, but the adrenaline flashes through her as soon as she grabs the steering, and she may have flown them, just a little too fast, down to the planets surface. Rey has to skid into the sand. She throws a look back at the passengers and though a little jumbled they look fine. 

The first thing Rey does when her feet sink into Niima is march to the trade center she's been avoiding. Maker she does not want to even see the man's face more than once today, but she has already made up her mind. Rey slams her palm down on the counter, startling Plutt from his current deal. 

“You will provide this family food for the next year. “ she says doing her best to embed every word with the force.   
Plutt blinks and then laughs, a little taken aback.   
“And why would I do that?” He sneers. “I don't run a charity. “   
“The First Order will pay for the meals. “ she gives in. Plutt leans forward a little more interested this time. “Full portions for all of them, every day. And I will send for word that you make good on the deal. “ her hand falls to her saber, and she makes great care to watch his eyes follow it. “If I find out we're paying you good money for these children to starve you'll lose a lot more than just your business do you understand?” 

Plutts eyes return to her face, and then to the silver plated blaster wielding trooper just behind her. 

“Fine. “ he gives in “but I'll be payed in advanced. “

“You'll be paid every month when their food is given. The credits will transfer over only after I get word they've been fed. “ 

Plutt slams his hands on the counter. 

“Absolutely not. “

“Do you want to see what happens when you disobey the Empress of the Galaxy?”

 

She does not wait for his answer, knowing by the way he shrivels down that of course he's going to do as she says. Who wouldn't? Rey marches across the sand and takes a ground speeder. It's sleek and black and definitely First Order issue, but big enough for the family to load on back with her. 

Phasma loads into a single rider speeder and takes off just after her. It's selfish, by Rey doesn't want her anywhere near her things, her home. She wants that part of her life to remain unchanged by the First Order. She really used to wish for it to be unchanged completely, but she’s the one doing the changing now.

It's surprisingly easy to lose Phasma, Rey knows the dunes better than the silver trooper, and Phasma has no idea where they're even going. So Rey takes the round about way, in order to shake the guard off her tail, and then circles back to her far off little corner.   
Until the silver skeleton is in view, laid waste by the heat. 

Rey slows down as she approaches, Izren still clutching to her children behind her. When the vehicle comes to a complete stop Rey hops out, and holds her hand to help each of the passengers out.  
Izren raises an eyebrow.  
“What is this?” She asks, taking timid steps towards the relic.  
“Not much.” Rey admits with a shrug of the shoulders, but she walks over and taps the hunk of junk, having to pry the rusted door open. “But its shelter. “ Izren bends down and walks inside, tugging her sons along, and when Rey gets in behind them she can see the tears in the mother’s eyes as she realizes its a dwelling. Her eyes swing all over the place, which admittedly isn’t far, and land on the last thing Rey wishes she’d seen.  
Izren’s eyes follow the trail of marks and go wide. The tears falling down her cheeks are hopefully still of joy and not suddenly pity.  
“How long?” She asks. 

“Too long. “ Rey answers. “I was abandoned here too. “  
Izren starts shaking her head.   
“Where I come from dwellings are a sacred place. I can’t-”  
“I don’t need it anymore.” Rey interrupts her. Upon realizing just how untouched its been her heart sinks. No one’s been here. No ones looked at all. Its not like she’d been expecting them to be waiting inside, its not even like she’d wanted them too. And if the place had been ransacked she’d probably be upset. But no one had even checked for her.   
Maybe they were dead somewhere in the sand.  
Maybe they just had never cared for her.  
Rey pushes it all to the back of her mind, instead she crouches down and starts opening little tin drawers. She throws her stockpile of portions onto the hammock.  
“You can have all of these too.” She finds a little chest behind the set of drawers and tugs it out onto the floor.  
“We really can’t-”  
“I’m not waiting anymore.” Rey says with a sort of authority, turning around to stare the woman down. She’s not waiting- not for her parents, or the resistance, or even herself.  
Rey throat is suddenly too tight, and she's too aware of being in her prison. So she turns away and starts shuffling through her old things again until-  
A small silver chain catches her eye, and she scoops it up at once.  
She remembers this, she pulls the chain up between two fingers and lets the heavier emblem hand down and spin.  
She found it in the remains of an X-win when she was young, hanging off a dry skeleton. She had thought it was important enough to swipe from a grave, but it had never meant anything too her.  
But now the symbol she’d seen on the ancient Jedi texts stares back at her, and she knows that she was meant to have this.   
For a moment she wonders if the original owner was a Jedi, or just a believer in the force. Either way she slides it over her head and tucks it into the turtleneck.  
“Follow me-” Rey says, lightly, and she stands back up. She ducks out of the belly of steel and Izren follows her, but her children stay in the shade. Rey walks around the back of the dwelling, and is happy to see her old speeder is still there.  
Sure, she has to dig it partly out of the sand, but its still there.  
“This is yours too, to get back and forth when you need it. “ Izren walks up to inspect the vehicle. Her eyebrows smush together.  
“Did you build this?” She asks, running her thumb over the handlebar. She gets down on one knee to get a better look at it.  
“Yeah,” Rey admits, rubbing her hand on the back of her head. “I know it’s not as good as a brand new one but-”  
“No, this is quite good.” She twiddles a loose wire between her thumbs. “It needs a little work but I bet that's just the neglect. Were you a mechanic?”  
Rey shakes her head.  
“No i just liked to tinker, I made everything I could.”  
Izren turns to look at her, suddenly there is a sad little smile on her face.  
“Rey, you really don’t have to do all of this for us.We don’t even support the First Order-” But Rey shakes her head and won’t let her finish talking.  
“I don’t care what your beliefs are, if you need help I want to help.” She says. There's a beat of silence and Rey looks down at the sand.  
“I know you don’t want to leave, in case your son comes back, but you’ll rot away here.” Rey looks back to the woman, who’s slowly standing up. “And you can make that decision for yourself but your children don’t deserve that. I was a child here. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.” she swallows hard, and has to ignore the tears that start watering up in her eyes. But at least she's not alone, Izren’s already got them going down her cheeks. “If you get the chance to leave this planet I need you to do it. That what I’m charging you for all this.”  
“We wouldn’t have anywhere else-”  
“The resistance will give you a home, and meals and showers, they did it for me. If you can get to a base, you can tell General Organa I sent you.” Rey has to clear her throat. Shes too trusting too quick but- “They’ll help. They always help.”   
The mother takes two quick steps and flings her arms around Rey. Without hesitation rey hugs her back, tightly.   
“I understand if you have to wait a little longer.” Rey says, just before breaking apart. “I only left because I was forced too. But don’t waste your life here, okay? Don’t waste their time here.”  
Izren sniffles hard, but nods anyway. Rey’s suddenly feeling awkward. She takes a few steps backwards.   
“I- I have to go.” She says, pointing towards the First Order speeder. “I’m already in enough trouble.” There is a quiet goodbye exchange and Rey peaks her head back inside her own to say goodbye to the boys, but neither of them are as interested in her as they are all her old things.   
As soon as she’s loaded into her vehicle she takes off, hard and fast into the sand. One of the secures in her hair blows loose and it all tumbles free, rushing past her with the wind. She swings her head around to shake the strands from her face, and sees another speeder in her peripheral. She sighs a little, Phasma has already found her again, despite this she doesn't slow down for the woman.  
But the speeder keeps gaining on her, and it is only a minute or two before its close enough for the driver to start shooting blaster bolts at her.   
Rey almost gets hit by the first one, it takes her off guard and shes barely got seconds to zip out of the way. She's got a little more time to prepare for the second one and she’s swerving in and out to dodge the ones after.   
Well, That's probably not Phasma. She turns her face to get a good look, but its all going so fast and the beige figure blends in with the sand. She’s forced to make a sharp left to avoid a blaster bolt.   
And then a sharp right, and another right and a left and oh god she’s turned around in the desert.  
There is a rock formation approaching. It might be stupid, but Rey thinks that if she can just get her saber out she might be able to find out just who this person is, why they’re trying to kill her. The transport starts to moan, and oh R’iia no, its spurting to a stop. Its only then that Rey’s eyes find themselves on the fuel gage.   
Please make it to the mountain, please make it to the mountain. She’s begging the force, anyone who will listen really. Her last thought as she jumps off the speeder is to grab the comm off it. Her free hand grabs her saber and ignites it. She barely has a few seconds to block the next couple of shots. The man, it is a man she thinks, jumps off his speeder and runs for her, and Reys shooting up the side of the stone. She needs cover. She hauls herself up by the arms onto a platform of rock,with a sort of natural shield jutting out across it.   
Kylo’s going to be angry.  
Snoke might be angrier. 

“Who are you?” She shouts down, ducking behind the stone. A gruff wouldn’t you like to know fires back. There’s a loud thud behind her and Rey spins to find another man in the same clothing behind her. He reaches out to grab her but she’s just quick enough to plant a firm kick to his chest and knock him back.   
She looks down and there's suddenly way more of them. All she can think to do is climb higher, she's not a match for so many blasters. Rey can admit when shes outnumbered.  
The one she’d kicked is climbing just underneath her. He gets close enough to grab and ankle and tugs himself up on it, trying to yank her down to him. From her ankle he grabs her hip, and pulls himself up her.  
When his masked head is waist high Rey slams an elbow down onto his face. The man lets go with one hand and stumbles to get his grip back, so she does it again, harder this time, and he falls so fast his head bounces on the rock. There's a small splatter of blood, but she ignores it, turning quickly and climbing. Its not like she’s never killed anything before, she chides herself, rolling over the edge of the next flat ground.  
As soon as she remembers the comm in her hand shes fumbling with it, trying to hail the Finalizer.   
“I’ve been ambushed.” She yells to it, but it statics in response. “I need help.” She tries again. And again. And again.  
There's no answer, time after time its static. Rey closes her eyes, and does her best to make her mind peaceful. She reaches an arm out, feeling in the darkness. She’s never contacted him on purpose before.  
“Kylo-” She lets her mind whisper, when she thinks shes got a grip on him. “Kylo send help.”  
She wonders for a moment if she actually reached him, and if he’d come for her if she had. Honestly if it were her, she’d know a lot of her problems would be solved if the Emperor disappeared.   
There’s a chasm between her platform and the next, it all surrounded by a big tan wall of rock. Rey wonders for a moment if she could make the jump, but the more she judges the distance the more sure trying it would just led to the certain death below. Before she can even try it, however, a beige covered woman shows up, she’s wearing a helmet as well, but dark curls fall out the bottom of it. She fires her blaster before her feet are even all the way on the ground and Rey’s spinning her saber to send them back the way they came. She can’t go back down, but the walls of this chasm are so smooth she can’t climb up either, its the other platform or get trapped.  
Kriff, she's already trapped.   
“What do you want?” She shouts at the woman, deflecting another bolt. But she just fires again and shakes her head. Rey doesn't have to deflect this bolt, it goes way over her head. For a minute Rey’s confused, she’d been a good shot up until this point. But then there's a rumble behind her and all Rey can do is spin, mortified, to watch a group of boulders tumble towards her.  
They mull her down like an ocean wave and pull her into the drop. 

She doesn’t feel the rocks hit her. She doesn’t feel herself bounce on the ground, or the rocks cushion their fall with her. The world froze when the first boulder hit her and everything after that hasn’t been processed.  
There's a faint pain underneath all the numbness.  
Scratch that there's a very real, very serious pain underneath all the numbness.   
She reaches across her mind one more time. She manages to hit the speak button the the probably crushed comm in her left hand.  
“I need you.” She whispers, both to herself and into their bond. She's thinking about the way his arms feel around her, the way he smells, the way his lips taste. She thinks she might be crying. All that clawing to survive just to end up dead in the desert anyway. Please don’t let it end like this, she's begging something, anything in the universe. She doesn’t know if its R’iia, or the Maker, or The Force, but she begs to it anyway. She thinks about his eyes and his hands.  
She doesn’t want to be done with him. She doesn’t want to be done with anything.

Please don’t let this be it. She thinks, just before her vision darkens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is my longest chapter yet, and I'm sorry guys. I actually had to split it into two parts so the next update will be coming sooner rather than later. I'm going to be trying to post at least once a month. I know that is few and far between but I'm too busy to step any smaller schedule, I hope you all understand!  
> I also hope you guys liked this chapter! I've been waiting for this one for a while!   
> As always Kudos and Comments are so greatly appreciated and you guys are the reason I'm still writing!


	20. Hopeless pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, I decided to just go ahead and finish writing this bit and post it for you guys anyway. I separated this and the last chapter because they're different P.O.V.s but this is too short to really be a stand alone chapter so oh well.  
> I hope you guys enjoy!

Kylo Ren hasn’t felt her presence so wholly in the bond in months, maybe ever. Suddenly Rey’s thrown her spirit fully into it that it overwhelms him at first. She just says the same phrase over again.  
‘Kylo, please,’ and a jumbled sort of ‘I need you.’ a sad little ‘please don’t let this be it.’  
He jumps up so quickly Snoke’s guards draw their weapon, but Snoke just quirks an eyebrow. He can feel her in Kylo’s mind.  
“What is it, my apprentice?” He asks, impatiently. Kylo’s nerves are on fire. She’s panicking and its hitting him and and echoed twice as strong in him.   
He hasn’t felt her presence in the bond so wholly in months. Suddenly she’s thrown herself fully into it and repeating the same phrase over and over again.  
“My wife is in trouble.” He says darkly, and is marching off before the Supreme Leader can dismiss him.  
“Ren-” Snoke calls behind him, but the sliding doors are already shutting.  
A uniformed man on the other side of the doors stands up too quickly, his chair knocking down behind him.  
“Emperor Ren?” He looks more than confused, as the seething dark-sider blows past him.  
He can feel her gripping onto his half of the bond like its the only thing keeping her alive. He quickens his pace in case it is.He’s basically running, if not at least jogging, down a corridor that leads straight for the hangar.   
When he hits the loading bay there's already a group assembled, loading into a transport like tuna in a can.  
“Emperor Ren, We received a strange comm.” A blonde woman in a sharp uniform says as he approaches. “We think it might be from the Empress.”  
“Wheres Phasma? “ He barks. “Isn’t she keeping an eye on her?”The woman shakes her head. “We got word from the captain that the Empress managed to loose her.” He snarls, and the woman shrinks back a little bit.  
“Did you get a location from the message?” She gives a nod. “Well then what are we waiting for?” Kylo stomps into the ship. “Give an order to send medical staff down as quick and close as you can. Prepare the med unit, bacta, everything we’ve got.” He shoves a trooped aside with his shoulder so the door can start closing.  
“We don't know if she’s hurt your highness, that could be a huge waste of supplies and-”  
“She’s hurt.” He bites as the door hisses into place.  
\--  
They barley land with enough time. He can feel her slipping away as he has to wait for the shuttle doors to open. When there's just enough room for him to squeeze through he turns himself sideways and slips through. Now he actually is running.   
He knows she’s near. He can feel her struggling, feel her pain radiating from the little mountain range. He’s shouting her name without even realizing it, screaming it really. But between his calls he hears a small whimper, and before he can stop himself he jumps into the ravine it comes from.  
“Rey?” He yells, needing her to just make one more sound, but when the sound comes from almost directly under his feet he jumps. There's so many rocks on her he can barely see her. At once the force is so strong its a tangible thing, pulling the boulders off her with no little strain. As soon as he can get to her he scoops her up into his arms. Theres so much blood. Oh, Maker, theres too much blood.  
“Rey?” He shakes her gently in his arms. “Rey are you there? Can you hear me?” Her eyes crack a centimeter open.  
“Hi.” She grins up at him. But the movement is too much for her head and shes wincing soon after. Relief floods through him like an ocean. He can breath again, but not much.  
“You’re an idiot.” He grumbles, doing his best to sound serious and less like a scared child. “Why would you leave the Finalizer?” He tries to access the damage as he pulls them back into the sand, but he’s not a medical professional and theres really too much of it.  
“I was homesick.” She sighs, and he knows its a lie but he can’t really argue with her now. She gives a feeble laugh that turns into a fit of coughs. “You’re mad aren't you?”  
He shakes his head. No, he wants to say, he's scared shitless not mad. He’s still afraid he’ll jostle her wrong and she’ll die right here.  
“I can’t stand you.” He says, more gentle than she’s ever heard it from him. nHe wants to be furious at her. He wants to scold her, and throw her off a cliff himself. But she looks at him with her half lidded hazel eyes, and he crumbles.  
A slight stream of red drips onto her forehead from her hairline and just as he notices it she falls limp in his arms.  
Two med officers meet him halfway and are scooping her out of his arms before he can protest, throwing her onto a hover gurney and running back to the ship.   
Kylo stands, stunned for a minute, before throwing his step into overdrive and taking the largest stride he can manage to get back to the transport.


	21. Power

Rey already knows something's not right before her eyes open. She just feels off, and giggly, and very sleepy. Her first thought is that she's been drugged. Her eyelashes flutter open to a sterile white ceiling. Her head falls to the side, there's a med droid monitoring her, and an I.v. Drop into her right arm. So, she's definitely been drugged. She swings her head around and forces herself to sit up. Her left arm is bandaged at the elbow and there's a nice sheen of sweat sticking to her whole body.   
The droid beeps in binary, something along the lines of lay back down, but Rey ignores it. She focuses on the big bright light right above her. 

Wait. At her elbow? She looks back down shooting almost straight up. Where's the rest of her arm? She can still feel it why can't she see it.   
“Listen to the droid. “ a semi- familiar voice barks out. She knows she's heard it before but can't place where, like maybe in passing at the market at Niima or a dream. She turns to look for the source and it's a very handsome man crouched over in a too small chair.   
He's tall and pale, with broad shoulders. The man’s massive actually the more she looks at him. He's got strikingly soft looking black hair that she wants to run her fingers through. He looks at her over a long nose, that somehow fits his face perfectly, with soft brown eyes filled with concern. Despite this his lips are pressed into a line. “Please rest. You've been through a lot. “  
Well even if she doesn't know him, he certainly knows her. Plus his voice is like honey on her ears, she could listen to him talk all day, especially if she got to stare at him while he did so. Rey doesn't think she's ever seen someone so handsome in her life, but something pulls at her brain. Something's trying to tell her that she knows this man like the back of her hand-  
Her hand, her eyes flash back down to the muddied red wrappings.   
He other hand goes up to touch it but he's across the room with her wrist in his grip before she can finish the movement. Rey has to crane her head to look up at him.   
“Leave it alone. You're going to hurt yourself. “ he's frowning. Rey's certain she's seen that frown before, the way it reaches all the way to his eyes. 

“You saved me-” she means to whisper it but it comes out as an accusation. He was the one carrying her after-  
After-  
After what?   
What happened to her? 

“Of course I saved you. “ he huffs, letting her wrist go. He says it like he cares about her, and for a moment Rey thinks he must. “You're my wife, Rey. “ 

There's no ring on her finger, she thinks snidely, but then again there's no finger either.   
She feels like she should be much more worried about that, but her brains in a soft warm cushion she can't break out of.   
Besides, the look in his eyes is so genuine. And she might not remember anything but he certainly believes what he's saying. She vaguely remembers something about being married. The image of a big white garden comes into her mind, but that's all she can wrack out of it. Rey isn't sure if at the pain or the drugs but she's lowering herself back down on the bed and smiling up at him.   
She'll be freaked out in the morning.   
She's just so tired.   
“Thank you. “ she yawns. The man nods, arching an eyebrow. Her eyes start to close, and she snuggles her head into a downy pillow. Could she really be married to him? The last thing she clearly remembers is etching a mark in her steel wall, and she's not dumb enough to think that's the last thing that truly happened. There's so much more, she can feel it, locked under a haze, like it's under her fingertips. 

Rey snaps back up.   
“Rest. “ He hisses, but Rey ignores him.   
She can still feel it. She can still move her fingers, but there's just nothing to move, it's like a phantom following her around.   
“What- I mean-” she lifts up the bandages, and wiggles her appendage in the air. “What happened?”  
She's dizzy, probably from all the movement.   
“Well get you another one. “ another arm? What? Her head pounds, too much to hide and she scrunched her face up in pain.   
“But what happened to it?”  
Why is she here? She wants to ask but can't find the words. She's supposed to be at home, waiting. What if they come for her and she's not there? He frowns further, like he can hear her thoughts. 

“The rocks crushed it. “ is all he says. 

Oh. 

Rocks, that sounds familiar. The droid beeps and reaches an arm up to tamper with the I.V. Bag. Big, tan rocks, following her down. Her head is so heavy she lets it fall on the soft pillow. She looks up at the man again. Without any extra thought she reaches out for his hand, just a creature of impulse now. He lets her take it, but doesn't really hold it back. All Rey knows is she doesn't want to be alone. There's a word on her brain she can't quite comprehend. Maybe it's his name, maybe it's something else, but it leaves her lips before she slips back under. 

“Kylo-”

 

When Rey wakes up again it isn't under the soft influence of drugs, and her whole body is either on fire or sore. Her heartbeat pounds against her head. The thudding following down her neck and shoulder and straight into the crook of her elbow.   
She rolls over and looks at it, hoping it was a dream. When her eyes land on the now fresh bandages her heart squeezes itself into knots.   
Well, she's officially done it. She's messed herself up so bad she'll never be the same. Rey used to always tell herself it would happen, especially when she'd carelessly scale old imperial star destroyers. She's chide herself for getting too high up. If she fell she'd die or at least lose a limb.   
Well she lost one alright.   
There's a sinking feeling in her stomach. Tears well up in her eyes but she shoves them back down. It's just an arm, she tells herself, at least it wasn't her life. She's been on the brink of death before and she's always come back, she can come back from this.   
Rey slips her legs off the bed, sitting all the way up on her own with the motion. She glances around the room to find it completely empty. She lowers herself of the bed a little and puts her bare feet on the ground. The sterile tile sends cold shivers up her legs. As soon as Rey is standing on her own she realizes she shouldn't be. Pain shoots up her legs and makes her face squeeze together in an awful sort of wince. She's back on the bed in seconds. 

This isn't okay. Nothing about this is okay. Rey refuses to be at anyone's mercy and it's not like she even knows where she is. If She can't walk, she can't do anything.   
Before she can dwell on this too much there's a small knock at the door, and a very pale red headed man in an all black uniform enters.   
“Pardon my intrusion, Empress. “ he sneers. “But the Supreme Leader would like a word with you. “  
Empress? Supreme Leader? Rey can't shake the feeling she's missing something very important.   
“I can't-” she starts, looking down at her legs. The redhead nods his head like he immediately gets what she's trying to say and then opens the door wider for a woman with a wheelchair. It's a twi'lek, with pastel skin and a pretty smile.   
“It's nice to see you again Empress. “ she says as she helps Rey into the chair.   
Rey just nods back because she very well can't say how she's never seen the twi'lek before in response. Why do people keep calling her Empress? She thinks of the tall dark haired man with a crown on his temples. Is he the Emperor? He did say she was his wife and that would make her-

Did she marry an Emperor?Rey shakes her head. That really doesn't sound right.   
No matter what the truth is however, Rey cannot shake the feeling that bubbles deep into her stomach. The feeling that she's really messed it up this time.   
The young woman wheels her out into the hallway. They stay just slightly behind the redhead, who walks with his nose to the air and his frown to the ground. But the young Twi'lek bounces with every step, like her mood couldn’t be ruined with anything. Sometimes Rey will glance back at her and she’ll be smiling. Rey feels terrible for thinking it but as nervous as she’s feeling the younger woman is just making it worse.   
She’s taken to a darker part of the ship, and when the doors slide open to the room the redhead instructs her to “wheel herself in” to which she can’t help but sneer.  
But she does anyway, she rolls herself into a chamber with one arm, which is much hard than she would have thought and he body groans with every push. The doors shut behind her. Theres a very large holo of a man, if you can call him a man, at the very end of a back catwalk. He leans down a little and motions his hand forward.  
“Come here.” he instructs, and Rey wheels herself a little closer. The closer she gets, however, the more she wishes she were on Jakku. His gaze sinks into her. Suddenly she's uncomfortable, she squishes herself small in her chair, and her heart isn’t necessarily hurting but its too full, its shifting around, she does not like it.  
“You don’t know anything?” He asks, like he's seen into her mind. Rey just nods, very slightly. The man, Snoke, grins.  
“My darling, “He says softly, folding his hands onto his lap. “You should’ve said something sooner.What do you want to know?”  
“What am I doing here?” She blurts out, honestly She’s just happy someones helping her.   
“You’ve married my apprentice-” And at once there's a smaller holo underneath them, its footage from the sky, overlooking a dark haired prince receiving a kiss from a woman, that is almost her but elegant, and groomed. She is covered in small petals that sparkle in the sinking sun, they’re all along the chiffon and lace of a skirt that flares over her hip, and make up her bodice completely, and then they pinprick around her wrist and collarbones and leave her back completely bare. The petals dot her hair and she wonders when she had grown it out, and just how long she’d been here for it to have gotten that long. The kiss is hesitant, and more than a little scared at first, but then their arms slip around each other and he's leaning down into her. Rey can clearly see how in love they are, and her heart stings for a second because she really wants to remember it. The image statics away and is replaced by another. It's the two of them from an almost aerial view, marching in some sort of parade, she's got her head buried in his chest and his arm is tight around her waist. They’re on a sidewalk by the sea, giving each other innocuous looks and shy glances. He leans down placing her between him and the railing, pointing his other arm over her at something in the sea. There's clinking of glasses on a roof garden and the emperor, because after watching this she’s sure he's the emperor -look at him covered in gold, stroking her cheek and kissing her at a dinner table.She calls him kylo.  
Rey can’t help but smile at it all. And then its security footage from a speeder, of kylo fumbling through the sand gripping her with fury. His eyes are wild and scared shitless. Her head bobs limp with his steps. When the medics grab her he looks like he’s lost everything.   
And she almost feels like crying. All she's ever wanted was someone who loved her, a family. And shes so proud of herself, she's so touched that this man would give her that. “And I’ve taken you up as one of my own apprentices.”  
As he speaks the holo she stares at disappears. Behind it, ingrained into the wall, is a symbol that makes her realize where she is for the first time.  
“The first order?” She whispers, under her breath, more to herself than him. “No. “She says. “That doesn’t sound like me, why would i join the first order?”  
“To get off that dirtball.” Snoke says, but when rey frowns he speaks again. “Because you were capable of greatness. Because you were powerful and you needed to be taught. “ The holo reappears and it is now her and kylo in a steel black room, smashing staffs into each other, looking absolutely competitive. Shes never seen herself move so fast, or with such precision and fury. Its her in the sand, shoving people from her way, cursing something awful. She looks rabid and mean, and she takes something cylindrical in her hand and-  
Wait, what?  
No, no that is not a lightsaber.   
Lightsabers aren't real. They were a fairytale. Just like the-   
“I’m not a jedi.” She almost spits, shocked by the whole ordeal now. But Snoke nods.  
“No, my dear, you're not.”   
She's felt this before. She isn't sure what it is, but it is as familiar as her missing limb. Dark and gooey, devouring her at first sight. She lets it take her too, something about the fog that rolls over is delightful in its wickedness. It climbs up her legs and seeps deep into her belly.   
“Don’t you want to be powerful? You were. You can still be. ” He speaks, and she can feel the desire for it she once had. She knows something of choking on sand and wishing to strike down desert dwellers. She knows of dreaming of strength. She had wanted to be powerful, she does want to be.  
She watches herself, frozen, lightsaber in hand. Rey can't force herself to blink if she wanted too. Her eyes stay fixed on the sapphire blade.   
She is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always let me know what you guys think! I'm so excited to be posting this!


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